Project for Everyone

This is a spin off from the thread about my therapist advice.

Every time you start to self doubt, think about what my therapist said, if not using a child for example, but even stepping outside of yourself and pretending that you are a friend/sister/brother/father/mother of a person going through the exact same thing you are, who is blaming herself and can't see the reality of the situation.

Make a list of everything this person has said to you or has done to you, using yourself as a third person or another person; you can include the charming things as the pro's

I'll start (you don't have to post yours, just write it down on a piece of paper):

She meets a man on facebook, who seems very charming, educated, graduated from the Naval Academy, is a former Marine. Everything seems to be going well with the friendship, as that is all she is seeking from him.

The man starts off very charming and seemed to know, empathize and accept her and that she suffers with depression, telling her she is melancholic, but it doesn't bother him, and he wants to help her work through HER issues.

Starts off the friendship/relationship with a lot of charm and compassion, and talks to her for hours, getting to know EVERYTHING about her, and she learns some of his demons as well, as he uses this to make her feel comfortable in letting her guard down in order for her to reveal more information about herself.

Tells her that she's beautiful, she's worthy, she inspires him, that not everyone will see her value right away like he does.

She tells you that she starts to notice little things that he does in relation to other people that are strange.

She confides in him several times a week about her problems because he told her to express her feelings honestly.

He tells her that based on an email she sent that they need to talk and appears to want to talk to her to help her sort out the "problem" she's having.

She talks to him a second time on the phone and notices and instant change in personality. He's cursing and abrasive, doesn't remember telling her certain things from the first conversation.

He asked to reveal her soul and what's really bothering her, she then tells him, her weight is bothering her the most which he knew about from the first conversation and was compassionate about, knowing she gained it because of steroids, but he insist she reveals her weight to him, which she tells him she's not comfortable with, but he threatens to hang up on her if she doesn't tell him her weight.

Has been talking to this guy who has told her she's melancholic (depressive), and he told her he wants to help her, but she is being talked AT (not to) like she's a child, being called childish, selfish, when she has been very open and giving with that man, using how she feels and what she has revealed to him to make her feel worse.

When she ask a question about him, he gets on the defense and accuses her of fishing for a story.

Charming her, saying "baby" and "sweetheart", but claiming to be someone of the church.

She ask him one more question about him based on something he told her from the first conversation which he doesn't remember, then again accuses her of fishing for a story.

She ask him what's wrong and why he seems so agitated, he then yells "Why are you worrying about what I'm thinking!!!!!!"

Then he hangs up on her, she then finds out from her law enforcement family that.....

He has a criminal background

The man is Is/Was an alcoholic, and has served prison time twice for DUI's, driving on a suspended license and possession of marijuana.

Has a brother who has a similar criminal background (obvious signs of family issues and similarities)

Owes tones of money to the IRS

Has tax liens

Has lived in multiple places and never had a steady place to live

Has serious mommy and daddy issues and has said that he HATES his mother and father (which by the way, is shown in forensic psychology to be one of the major key factors of even serial killers).

Has serious mood swings

Ignores her as way of making her feel bad

Gives her the silent treatment, but blatantly makes it clear to her that he's online by posting stuff on his facebook wall.

Has no identity of his own and lives through the successes of others.

Has a Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde personality

Now, I have to sit back and re-read this and ask myself. What could my friend have possibly done wrong to have been treated this way?

NO one deserves this, its uncalled for, its immature on his part, its rude, and its abusive.

I know my friend. She is very sweet, sensitive, caring, sympathetic and empathetic, does have depression issues, so for someone to know she does, but belittles her, hangs up on her, makes her feel bad, is not a good person.

She needs to walk away.......