Pornography, Emotional Availability & Female Objectification

It is no secret that men have a lesser degree of access to their emotions and feelings than do women. There are all sorts of reasons for this, and the topic, in and of itself, could fill pages. Suffice it to say, that where women are more likely to express emotions and feelings directly, men are more likely to express emotions and feelings more indirectly, if at all.

That indirect expression of emotion is usually seen in behaviors, rather than words. And it does not take an expert in human behavior to anticipate that those behaviors will likely be less than desirable. The upsurge in convergent media, and coincident availability of pornography, has created a curious phenomenon with regard to this indirect expression of emotion in men -- pornography addiction.

As we have said previously, addiction is a compulsion that has transformed itself from a drive to a need, whether that need is real or perceived. The concrete behavior associated with an addictive dynamic (drinking, gambling, sexing, spending, working, hoarding, etc.) is simply a symptom. The amplified ability to indulge in pornography through increased availability that does not publicly expose such prurient predilections is a good part of what is driving the marked increase of this particular issue.

Pornography itself is about the objectification of women. In this context women are treated as things, receptacles and socially dissociated objects to be used and tossed aside. They are, in a word, not real.

Why? -- Because pornography is about emotional disconnection, not emotional connection - it fills a gap in emotional maturity and never the twain shall meet - at least not inside a healthy head. In fact, much of the American propensity to distort sexuality is informed by the core Puritanism that would reject pornographic bedroom behavior in real life.

So, we have emotional isolation, the expectation of socio-emotional disconnection in transgender relationship, the basic human need for love and affection, the basic human drive for sex and now we have an easy access venue that can substitute for the genuine experience of these things.

It is the failure of understanding how (or being unable) to relate emotionally that finds its expression here.

This sensibility of emotional isolation (or lack of real emotion - as in pathologicals) is carried forth, but the needs that remain unsatisfied demand an outlet. What better place to interact in a pseudo-emotional manner than with women who aren't real?

In the meantime, just like liquor stores and casinos, pornography will continue to be a part of our culture. And, just like drinking and gambling, it becomes a question of our personal ethos whether we will choose to exploit ourselves through our own inauthenticity or look inside to develop a more whole version of ourselves informed by healing, rather than social distortion.

by Michael J. Formica

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/enlightened-living/200808/pornograph...