Plans...

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yes completely disrespectful of my time! we were doing long distance, and so many times he would try to change plans on me the last second even though i would have a plane ticket booked. it was ridiculous. if i tried to talk about it instead of being sorry he would say ill reimburse you for the ticket...i shouldve probably tested this theory. when we were going to las vegas, a day before he was having second thoughts, i was so pissed and said well ill go without you and take a friend, guess who decided they could show up. and ofcourse once i was late picking him up from the gym like 15 minutes...and he was pouting like a 5 year old, and yelling at me for being late. jerks. just wondering...for those who are married, did they not commit to plans as well?

He was completely predictable. Wake up, eat breakfast (same thing), go to work. Eat lunch (same thing every day, I'm not kidding), come home. Eat dinner that he either picked up from a fast food place or something his mommy made, get cleaned up, go for a walk with his mommy, go downstairs and play video games, look at his transgender sites, read, clean up, call me. The weekend varied EVER so slightly, but not much. He only eats about 17 foods (I WISH I were kidding) and wears the same color shirt every day. As my mom said, he was a DUD. God, if he had ever had a plan or done anything outside his routine I would have been overcome with shock.

I got so sick of him keeping me from making plans, especially vacation and trips. I started saying, "fine I'll do it without you." This really gets under their skin. He would rage. Once we were in Cancun with another couple (where they guy is also a Narc) The 3 of us were negotiating with a salesperson for a tour to Chizen Itza.. and got a really good price for the next day. When I went to tell my Ex N, (note we were in a tourist mall) who was looking at really expensive watches or sunglasses, totally in his OWN WORLD, said he didn't want us to go that day, he wanted to party and sleep in.. and as I was aimlessly explaining why we needed to take this deal.. i said, "we are going and you can stay." He threw a ragging fit like a child (he's 36) in front of our friends, and eventually gave-in.. I WON! Ofcourse once we were back from vacation he proclaimed to everyone about the deal HE got and that if they were planning a trip to Cancun, he was the expert on knowing what to do.

I am pretty sure he had the plans but he just did not want to share them with you. Mine always had pans, but i knew only when i asked or found out myself. When he was going to go to the business trip he would inform me one or 2 days before. When i asked him why didnt he tell me that earlier, he used to say he did not want to upset me /as he knew i dont like that he is disappearing for one or 2 weeks every month/..He basically shared his pans with me only if he saw the benefit out of it. He did not like to share them with me just for my information.

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I am guessing he always wanted to know what YOUR plans were though - where you would be and what you were doing at all times?

That is what mine used to say all of the time! "I dont make plans". Which is a lie! And if we did make plans he would break them just to punish me for making them in the first place. We never did what I wanted to do. It was always last minute stuff. Or we would have plans and he would just walk out the door to go to a friends house. When I asked what he was doing he would say "I told you, this is why I dont make plans so I can do what I want when I want" I f*cking hate him so much! It would drive me crazy all the time because I am a planner. It was probably one of the things that we fought about the most. I would ask him to give me some notice so I could make my own plans but no he decided right then and there what he wanted to do. So I was left doing nothing or trying to figure something out. This is another time he would tell me that I am "too needy" or clingy. I have a lot of friends but he made me feel like a loser all of the time if I didnt have back up plans when he wanted to leave me!

Yes, all the time. I'd ask for something and responses varied, but, basically he would not commit to things all the time. Unless, of course, it was something HE wanted to do. Let's see… - oh, I think I can do that, but not sure - I will help, but no guarantees - well, I never know what's going to come up but I can do that, I guess - Friday? hmmm…well, it's only Wednesday so I'll see about that on Friday - no, I didn't say I would do that, I said I MIGHT do it, no wonder you're confused It's a form of abuse to keep you guessing and struggling. Ns are notorious for this kind of crap.