The Place I am In

I received correspondence in the mail...from the Narc.

If it weren't for the Benadryl (horrific hayfever) I'd taken a ½ hour before, I'd be spinning 'just a tad'.

He purposefully wrote ONLY my 1st on the envelope - as we're now divorced...& I'm not changing my name.

He started off somewhat collected, then in true narc-form, exploded into his uncertainty of why I didn't/won't call the phone# he wrote in his last correspondence 2 months ago. He says, it MUST be out of guilt or fear. (What was I guilty or fearful of? Loving a psychotic coward? Fearful I couldn't live without said coward?) He goes on to ask if I thought he was writing to reconcile & how WRONG I was about thinking that. Followed by expletives & smiley faces.

Then he enclosed a copy of the divorce decree. He highlighted the date it was deemed official...OUR DAUGHTER's BIRTHDAY.

On the lower backhand side of the letter, he wrote in very small print "I'll be expecting more correspondence from U..."

He will get my continued silence. My gut felt this hoover long before I reached my PO Box to retrieve the mail. He wrote that last line, because he knows the OLD me would 'tongue lash' him & defend how inaccurate his letter is. REACT! No more. He wrote several other obvious 'triggers' too. He deliberately made no inquiry of our daughter's well-being. He knows THIS would upset (the old) me. She's just fine, thanks!

I pity him, for I AM NORMAL. I'm in a far better place (mentally & emotionally) than he will EVER be. I know the meaning of unconditional love, for that's what I give our daughter. He in turn, feels nothing.

I wanted to return the copy of the divorce decree to him with a post-it reading: No copy required. Child Support Services provided me with one. But, thanks. (I WON'T, of course!!!)

I will NOT respond. I will NOT call. I shall NOT waver.

No weapons formed against me shall prosper! --NNZ