I was out with a best friend last night/the older brother I never had. He confided in me that his marriage of 7 years is falling apart. His wife has never been happy with his salary and their lifestyle. She says he isn't a good provider, is caught up in her image, among other things. His description of his wife sounded eerily similar to my exN, minus a number of characteristics of a narc. I think she has BPD. In any case, I did not mention that or otherwise parallel his situation to mine (he's already well aware of how much I've been screwed up for the past 6 months). He did say that I'm lucky -- that I figured out my exN's issues in only 2 years versus 7. I don't feel lucky... This has been the worst experience of my life. I am moving, at least in part, because of this.
My sister just commented that she is in disbelief that I am still in pain after 6 months for only a 20 month relationship, during which I was not happy for most of it. That made me feel pretty badly because at least a part of me believes she's right. I get it that no one can really understand the gravity of pain a narc can inflict unless they've personally experienced it, but still. I feel weak for letting someone affect me so deeply.
The distraction of my upcoming move has been great. I have some anxiety, of course. I haven't been "present" for 6 months. Sorta feel like I've been watching my life from afar. And now I'm moving to Dallas???!!!!!!! I never thought I'd live there.