Our worth....

I see a large number of us....( I have been guilty of this too).....thinking that we have possibly had an impact on these disordered people....

That if they reacted to us in "such a way"...then that must mean that we IMPACTED them....and so, MEANT more to them than others did etc.

ie...if they reacted THIS bad to what I said...then that means " I must have been THAT important to them".

I think this type of thinking is dangerous. If we engage in this, then we are still seeking some sort of validation from them...we are still allowing them to define our worth on some level.

Their reaction to us, or lack thereof DOES NOT REFLECT OUR IMPORTANCE, nor does it reflect how they "feel" for us.

These people are disordered. Their brains are NOT wired like ours.

How they react to us, whether postively or negatively.....is due to THEIR particular circumstances at that particular time.... what works or doesn't work for THEM in THAT particular moment.....it has NOTHING to do with US. Nothing.

They operate on their own terms. WE HAVE NO IMPACT ON THEM, WHATSOEVER.

We really need to grasp this in order to really move on.

If we still feel we impacted them or were "special" or "better" to them in some way....than we really haven't truley accepted their disorder.

It's hard to grasp. I have a hard time with it too...even now......but it is true.

They do not see US for what we are. They never have and no matter what we do, they NEVER will.

No matter how hard it is...even at these later stages of recovery ( I am here too )....we have to remember the painful realization that we meant NOTHING to them other than "supply".

Everyone of us here is worth more than the term "supply".

We are human beings capable of love and compassion. We are unique and deserved to be recognized for that and for the different things we have to offer.

WE MUST VALIDATE OUR OWN WORTH.