Our Limbic System

Hey now, don't get discouraged. A narc rewired your brain temporarily. If he can do that, then you can undo it. He's not more powerful than you. "He that is in you is greater than he that is in the world," right? ;-) Your therapist is right in this sense...I might have mentioned this already, but on down the road I find that my triggers will be extreme fatigue, or actual physical pain. Partly because when I met this guy, we talked online until the wee hours of the morning... and I mean wee. There were actually a few days I did not go to bed at all! And then I'd go to work! I was operating on pure adrenaline I guess. That sleeplessness made me sooo much more suggestible too. Cults do that to you on purpose! But anyway, I did it to myself. So I think when I get extremely tired, it brings him back in my mind. So, goal number one is don't get that tired! Or if it happens I can cure it by getting some sleep. I would miss work and take a nap if that's what it took to get back on track. Okay, weirder story, like me, your ex was the source of pleasure to take away from your pain at home, he was the pain relief. Then of course he becomes the pain AND the pain relief, until he just becomes pain. One day when life was fine and I wasn't upset or thinking about him, etc... something fell hard on my foot, CRASH, with no warning, and broke a toe. I mean I had sudden pain crashing through my brain, and out of nowhere, exnarc came blazing into my consciousness. Isn't that weird? I suddenly strongly felt like I needed him. Which was dumb, I didn't need anyone, I just needed an ice pack, lol. So I guess that is an example of a memory embedded in my limbic system? You think? I put ice on it and it went away. My friend that rescued me from this relationship (she'd been thru something similar) told me what I needed was water under the bridge. And the more water that went under the bridge the better it would get. And she didn't just mean time, she meant NEW memories and experiences. The more new experiences I would have, the further away the old memories would be. I think we need good, sensory experiences to do this. And learning a new skill helps a lot too... your brain has to make a lot of new connections when you're learning something new, like playing an instrument or learning to knit, or learning to play tennis, or whatever. It was hard waiting for the water to pass under the bridge... but now I'm not even on the bridge. I'm off doing my own thing. The challenge for me then was that it was hard not to share the new things with the N! But even better, in doing new things, I met NEW PEOPLE, not romantically, just friends and acquantainces that have NOTHING to do with the past. I have a great new friend that I wouldn't have imagined knowing before and we even travel together. God is so good to bring her to me. And I'd take a friend I can trust over any man. Anyway, yeah, some stuff is wired in there... but your brain was around a long time before you met this clown, and it will last a lot longer than him too. Stay positive!!