The 'Other Woman' asked ME Who I Am!

Someone posted a recent thread about the show "Madmen" and the lead character, Don Draper...who depicts a Narcissist to a 'T'...especially his ability to be a like a chameleon when it comes to his relationships, depending on who he is relating to at the moment, and also there is alot about his 'secret life'...his numerous affairs and lying...while married to a very pretty and good woman 'Betty'. Well the Don Draper character really depicts VERY closely what my Narc/Psycho BF...and life with him on a daily basis is like...much of the time.

It has been his secret life...finding out about one lie after another...knowing about his cheating...(one I know for certain...the others pretty much just 'knew')...that has hurt me and been so confusing, especially because he could hide it all so well...and he had affairs...even when we were 'happy'...and even during our earlier 'Honeymoon' phase when the relationship was new.

Well, last year his EX-wife (with whom I have a friendly cordial and privately supportive relationship)...had called me at home one day and asked me outright if 'everything was okay?' with my BF (her EX) and myself...I thought she was just checking, as I had been really ill...but she thought I needed to know (because I had not been going with him to the boy's practices because I had been really sick for a few weeks...that my BF was seen ALOT with another woman at the Hockey Arena(she was evidently a mother of one of the boys on his youngest son's hockey team that I had never seen before)...She said that same woman had sat down next to her once and asked her all sorts of questions about her EX (my BF) and made the strange remark..."You are so lucky to have had son's with such a handsome man!"...Anyway, she thought I should be aware, because some of the other parents had been asking where I was...and specualted he was now with this OW. Well, I got better...and attended ALL the hockey practices for the rest of the season...and never saw her there after that...and let it go...thought perhaps a 'budding dalliance' had been nipped in the bud...no more worries...as she seemed to be gone!

Well, last week my BF and I took his youngest son to his hockey practice...or rather...I 'surprised my BF by showing up waiting for him after he left work early...so that I could go with him...as something was niggling at me about his behavior again...and I had not been able to attend the last practice several days before that...so I thought I might need to go...just some intuition...

Long story short...I was dressed like all the other 'hockey mom's'...nice but in slacks and sweater, coat and scarf (it's cold in there!)...and here comes some long haired brunette in a short skirt and high heels (just the way my BF likes em!and as if to say...'look at me')...and I really only noticed her when she was sitting in the stands by herself...and staring at my BF and me ...and then she got up (as if she was upset or something...just a vibe she gave off)...and she left...I never thought of this woman again...until about 30 minutes later when she was standing down the hallway where the lockerrooms were where my BF was helping his son get changed and I was wating at the doorway...and she was just starring very hard at me...then she fled into the bathroom...then just as suddenly came out...as if she was trying to get up the courage to speak to me...THEN all of a sudden she comes up to me...and just blurts out "I saw you at the Metro Grocery Store and also in the car 2 times with 'my BF's name'...and I wanted to know who YOU are and how well you know him???!...I was very nice and actually perhaps too polite...even though I found her behavior kinda weird and her questions and comments too personal and forward...Well, she kept asking me things...even said to me "So you are NOT a tourist then?...and I had no idea where THAT came from...(I have lived in this Province and in this Country for nearly 8 years)...perhpas he told her I was a 'friend' 'just visiting'??? I dunno...Anyway, when my BF spotted HER talking to me...he got visibly uncomfortable...she went up to him...said nothing, but kindof 'smiled'...there was a palpable exchange of some sort of 'vibe'...and she then purposely walked out directly in front of us (swinging her hips in her short skirt/high heels)...and she kept glancing back at us...my BF kind-of distanced himself from me...walked faster...acted like we were practically just aquaintances in front of HER...but as soon as we drove off...he took my hand in the car, acted overly 'sweet' and attentive...and said "Hmmm, what did she say to you?...When I told him, he said...hmmm...don't really know her and don't know what that's about'

Later I learned from my BF's EX-wife that this OW ...let's call her 'Belinda'...(coz that's really her name! HA!!!)..called her and started in asking all sorts of questions about me again...she also found it weird...

Then my BF's EX-wife mentioned that this same woman lives just around the block from HER...things strated fitting into place...all the receipts I found in the last 6 months...where he had left work (I was not aware) for an afternoon here and there...and stopping at stores/gas station and restaurants near where my BF's EX-wife lives...and I was beginning to wonder if he was seeing his EX-wife! I had mapped out the location of all these recepits, time of day..etc. (like a Private Investigator told me to do when I consulted with him about things)...and all the little red dots were within a mile or 2 from his EX-wife's house...

...but it was THIS woman, 'Belinda'...wasn't it???...The way she acted...as if she was jealous and dissappointed for me to be there (I wasn't supposed to be there that night...perhaps caught them both off guard??)...and also, guess what?, another clue...SHE IS the very SAME woman my BF's EX-wife warned me about from last year's 'hockey season'...is SHE the OW??? I know he has been cheating...but whatever was going on seemed to die down and he has been almost 'nicer' in the past couple of months...could they have been seeing each other all this time without me knowing? (dumb question, I know)...Could he fool me AGAIN like he did before, even though I am more aware now!!!???? I feel like she is the OW...just my intution (and everything starts to fall into place about the area he has been going)...otherwise...why would some woman I have never met before come rushing up to me and immediately state "I saw you with ( ) and want to know WHO YOU are?!!! And how long have you known ( )Are you just friend's?..etc.etc.etc....not ususally the kind of personal questions that would be the first thing out of someone's mouth...and also, not the way to ask someone...as she was almost 'demanding' to know as if it was somehow her right. Have they been having a long term affair all this time right under my nose? Didn't she know something about my existance???...How would she not have a clue...since he is not with her at night or on weekends??

I have no idea what to do with this one! I already nipped one of his more recent 'long distance' relationships in the bud...by letting her know about 'us'..evidently the long distance OW had no idea he even had a GF, let alone...lives with me...and it was bye-bye to that one...now this?

What do you guys think? It's HER...isn't it?

I know...LEAVE! Just GO!I should have been gone and remained NC long ago!!!...I feel stupid, embarassed and ashamed to actually admit still being with him after all the stuff he has done...but it's not always that easy...I am in a foreign country from my own...and I sublet my apartment downtown...I DO have friends to go stay with...but first I want to be sure this *IS* what I think it is...and that she IS the OW...

Could my 'intuition' be wrong? Why else would she act like that?