In one word

In one word
the way that he made me feel - humiliated
In one word
the entire " relationship " - lies
In one word
how I would describe him - sleazy
In one word
how do I feel eighteen months after it ended - exhausted
In one word
Do I love him still - yes
In one word
Would I trust him again - no
In one word
Do I want him back in my life - no
In one word
Do I feel better about myself now that he is no longer in my life - yes
In one word
Do I want to contact him - no

I asked myself these questions and realised that I have gone through all of the emotions of grieving
for something that never was.
I have not only reached acceptance, I have reached indifference. I feel like I have been climbing a mountain for so long and have reached the top.
It's a good feeling, to have yourself and your life back.
Don't give up. You'll get there.