From one addiction to another

You've expressed what many of us have felt like or still feel like - these types of feelings can come and go throughout recovery, such is the effect of emotional abuse - a need to build our confidence and self esteem back up again. Don't ever worry about not feeling able to give advice to others here. Relating our own stories is just as helpful in validating - which is often the most important thing needed. Hugs!

this clip has been popping up and I thought is was appropriate... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMD0XtQqfkg&feature=endscreen&NR=1 Actually, Needs, I was going to ask you if you had set up a surveillance camera in my head...all I can say is ditto. I have found that I need to say the sorts of things like in this clip on a daily, even hourly basis sometimes... It's a journey and today I am thankful that I am in touch with my feelings and emotions and not totally shut down like the n. Rain

Needshelp, thank you for being so honest not only with your friends here on the forum, but with yourself. That speaks volumes for you and your recovery! I am so sorry that you feel that people won't like you and you have struggled with that for many years I am sure. But with the work by you along with your therapist, and the support here on the forum, you are going to be fine. You may not feel you have friends right now, but you do.And you may not feel important, but you are. And we are all here to help you see that for yourself. Never be intimidated about posting. What you have to say is important and what you have to offer to your friends here is worth your weight in gold. Join in, please, and see how many friends you have!

I posted a new comment before reading any new ones on this site. My post is exactly the same as yours! I too feel stuck. I feel like I am spinning my wheels but not going anywhere. I am on this site every spare moment that I have! I've become obsessed with reading posts, reading books, watching videos, anything I can get my hands on. I have issues with my childhood and family dynamics that I would peek into every so often and then slam the door when it became too painful. Now I know I must look at this if I want to be a "big girl" and heal myself. But why does it have to be so hard? I feel for you cause I am you right now. Hugs to u GF

Hey-I admire your honesty and get the feeling you are taking a good look at yourself and how to move forward into healthy and stable relationships. I can 100% relate to feeling of being unworthy and unlikeable, but have come to understand, from both the forum and therapy, that we shouldn't rely on anyone for that validation except ourselves. My therapist asked me if I thought I was a mean person? I said no. Was I selfish person? I said no. Was I a thoughtful person? A kind person? I said yes & yes. Was I a loving person? I said yes. Then she said, hmmm, so tell me how you can be unworthy and unlikeable. Those narcs raped us of our hearts and souls but we can take them back. I don't even know you but can tell you that you deserve to be loved as much as me or anyone else on this forum. Make a list of all the great things about yourself and you will realize that you are truly loveable! It is a steep road indeed, but we are all here, and use each others strengths to go forward. Thinking of you!

This is such an honest post it makes me grin...if you were here I'd do what my Italian grandma used to do and just pinch your cheeks because you're so cute! You do not need to put any pressure on yourself that you can only post to "offer advice"! Quite the contrary. This is about community building here and please trust and believe that ACCEPTANCE ABOUNDS HERE. We all don't have to be Einsteins with all the answers, we only have to be compassionate and considerate with each other, which EVERYONE here exercises from what I can see. I remember feeling the same way, dear Needs. But you know, back when this site was my literal lifeline (still is, just in a different way now) when I finally just started responding to some posts with a few sentences of what I felt in my heart, gosh, it was nice to hear that I actually helped someone or that someone was grateful that I shared! This helped me gain the much needed self-confidence that you talk about here. In the meantime, please do not feel needy or selfish. This forum is all about sharing and learning through sharing and growth through sharing. This means SHARE SHARE SHARE if you want to, we will be there for you and offer whatever possible. In fact, simply by your sharing you may help many others, too, so that's not selfish! I so recall being where you are at right now with regard to all those fears. I still have some of them but guess what, I feel the fear and do it anyway. I make an assessment of what is my intent, and if the answer is positive and to work in the light, then I go for it despite the fear. I just share this for you to consider. Dear Needs, please never feel like you have to "be" any particular way here. You are among friends. We're all sisters and brothers in recovery and strength. Hugs to you from, (not) spinning. AND SO GRATEFUL FOR THAT!