N's previous victims

We are all the OW.. Ugh! That poor girl.. She needed help..she too was sold a lie.. They don't change .. They walk the earth to destroy.. NessMia... Keep doing the work... Because you're right, you don't want to be that girl.. Hunter

I was number 5 of his failed relation ships and when I asked him in a letter, who is the common denominator, he went beserk and called me every ugly name in the book, he NEVER answered my question . It kills him that I am good friends with his first wife! HAHA Now he lumps us all together as crazy.

He didn't give names to any of his exes. He'd assign them some kind of character trait so that it was the "(blank) chick" this and "(blank) chick" that. His longest relationship (he claims) was 3 years with a "(blank) chick". It didn't work because her family didn't like him, so they moved the girl another city. I asked him why they didn't like him he said it was because "she was obsessed with me and was turning on her family because of me". uh huh...Was she obsessed with you, or were you tormenting and abusing her and her family might have been worried for her safety? Another "(blank) chick" went psycho, was calling him nonstop, then showed up at his doorstep. Was she psycho, or just bewildered and confused that you made her promises up the wall then suddenly started ignoring her? And another "(blank) chick" got too jealous and possessive, so he had to cut it off. Too jealous and possessive, or it just pissed her off that you were fucking other women left and right? Yeah, I can see how that would get annoying... Oh, and let's not forget another "(blank) chick", who lived with him, (he had to have his walls padded because she screamed so loud during sex....rolling my eyes) She was so bitchy because she couldn't handle his enormous c%*#$. Yeah, was it really that, or was it that she didn't enjoy being treated like sex on a stick in exchange for being allowed to live with you? Yeah, this N is a complete monster; or, as he would like to believe, every "(blank) chick" out there is effing crazy.

We live in a small town. He recently moved as he has used up his supply here. Thank God, because he used to live right down the street from me. It was hard not to drive by and check to see whose car might be in the driveway. Early in our relationship he got texts from women. When I asked about them he would say, "she's some gal I used to know. She's probably horny." My neighbor and I have chatted about how he texted her when with me. He made up lies telling her he was helping out a friend when he was with me. He asked her to lie to me about their relationship. When she told me the truth I think that was the first time I saw his mask slip. It was scary. He raged about her using very very disrespectful language. I haven't talked to her in a long time. It just hurts. He seemed to know everyone, a real man about town. He would look real uncomfortable in the grocery store and I asked what's wrong. "oh I used to know the checker." I have come to understand "i used to know" means I fucked her. I have often wondered why ow could move on and I have had such a hard time. My neighbor's experience with him wasn't nearly as intense as mine. Anyway it's all just a bad memory of something that I went through and I'm healing.

But I am sure there are many more... One he dated for 4 years and abandoned her after he wrecked her car. One he dated for a few years and abandoned her after she had his baby! The first one I met by chance, a neighbor, and she warned me - i thought she was a drunk and someone he just screwed so I did not listen. She had a nice smile but stunk of booze mid-day and seemed screwed up - she also said things to purposely hurt me and wanted me to become her drinking buddy. If she had been more credible, maybe i would have listened and gotten out of this in 2008 or so. She told me he had 4 or so GFs at all times. I thought he and I were exclusive...he swore we were and that he had stopped seeing all others around 2004...when he dropped this lady with the car. i know it was more than that and I never told him I knew, I just observed... He would always look at her house when we would pass it, not knowing I knew what he did... He knows he was wrong and I could tell he was ashamed years later because one time I offered to lend him my car and he blurted out "No!" in a really inappropriate way...the lady's car insurance rocketed after he totaled it and ditched it (the accident was not his fault but he took no responsibility. I had just causally started dated him back then and was not living there at the time. He called me long distance and told me he hit a deer when he was driving to visit one of his children. He said he borrowed a "friend's" car. The one who had his baby busted him on TV in a special interview (he was famous) after he did not pay child support. She seemed very nice, lovely and intelligent. I thought he had matured after 10 years with me and then he did the same thing to me - only he tried to be nice about disappearing as opposed to evil with them- Maybe he just felt more guilt after a decade doing his usual D and D, then ST.

This is what led me to this site from what happened last Friday. It was providence. He asked me to meet him at a coffee shop and his new woman was there at the same time unfortunately for him. She was extremely confused when he did not say hi as they bumped into each other going through the door and told me they had been dating since august. It all exploded infront of him and he sat there like nothing was going on like we were both crazy. No shame, no nothing. He had told her many lies about me and she said they slept together without protection. She left coffee shop in disgust so did i and the narc showed back up at home a day later. I tried to call her as i had her number already from his phone last sept and it resurfaced this last week. She was not receptive at first then called me back the next day. We talked for an hour. The lies regarding his background matched what she was told and i was able to confirm the real reason he lives in his parents house because he's a loser not what he told her - that his parents needed help and his dad was mentally handicapped. He had told her a bunch of sob stories and when i could repeat them at the same time my credibility was restored. She seemed a nice lady completely duped he was a nice guy and he had told her i was a psycho. He had said to me we will move in to a place together at the 1st of the year. He had also asked her to get a 2 bed apt for them both to move into or he move into her place. I said i have had your number since sept but didnt call it as i was told you were friends - she said i wish you had of. Now she is going for an STD test.

The ex-Psych with whom I was involved (but not sexually or romantically, however it was emotional on my part) was male... as was one of his exes. His ex was another male prof. This ex-boyfriend warned me to NOT get physically/romantically involved with the ex-P... and somehow I managed to follow that advice, despite the strength of my sexual attraction. The ex-P said terrible things about his male ex, calling him a "man scorned." The ex would warn me that the ex-P didn't truly respect&listen to me. However, the ex-P got psycho on me (after I met his girlfriend, who had moved in with him-he didn't tell me about her, I was humiliated) when I congratulated him&his girlfriend on being engaged. He had been constantly commanding me to "move on" during the publicly humiliating final D&D (he'd be lecturing me to tears in front of his colleagues, my classmates, it was a teacher/student relationship)... and when I congratulated him, he practically blew a fuse. He threw a fit, claiming I had imposed myself on him, violated his personal boundaries. I was NOT the girl who'd be weeping at his door. I'd be the one calling the caterer&the justice of the peace on him. I gave him a naive, innocent look, whining, "But you TOLD me to move on. This is MY way of moving on" (his feelings be damned) I think he was far more terrified at the prospect that I'd be the surprise guest at the wedding to wish him&his girlfriend a long life&happy marriage, than the sobbing girl at the door.

I'm embarrassed to say this because I really believed all his lies, but his "wife" (he was separated) had gotten a restraining order against him and when I walked away the first time from him he said the oddest thing saying "I won't harrass you." When he hoovered that time and I went back, I didn't know about the cheating and what he was.....it wasn't until AFTER I went back that time that he treated me worse than ever and I started looking and finding things. Then when I walked away the second/last time, the hoovering felt more like harrassment. But I haven't met any of his prior long term girlfriends -- he wasn't from the area (that should've been a sign in itself. He was ALWAYS surrounded by girls he said were "friends" and would tell me how all his past girls would come back (ALL) and wanted to reconnect and he wouldn't go back. He'd say it was a shame because they were really nice and really into him. And I'd look at him odd. He also said he wish he didn't have kids because that way he could just cut off the ties with the wife and never look back like he's done with all the other women. *shiver* Ugh, he's such an *ss...

My ex's wife told him she wanted a divorce, walked out of the house, and immediately went NC. When he finally did hear from her, it was through her lawyer. He never saw her again. An ex-girlfriend was supposedly so "jealous" that she followed him around town while they were dating, convinced he was cheating. The woman before me "moved on" when he wouldn't give her a commitment and ultimately deleted him from FB. One of his woman "friends" while we were together has deleted him from FB, severely restricted her profile, made herself unsearchable on the site, and moved to another town. I'm making an assumption that it was due to him, but it seems a rather reasonable assumption. And then me. He walked out of my life with no warning or explanation, but I deleted him from my FB and went NC. And yet there are still so many who cling to him and think he's wonderful.

I was a totally different woman with the narc, than any other normal relationship, doing crazy things in the name of love, but the relationship was so abnormal and i had no clue at the time, you could be that girl, like any of us, and this was before this site was here and I had no knowledge of NPD .anyway he always trashed and had horrible hatred of his 3rd wife and bad mouthed her to me all the time and now guess what he bad mouths me via letters to me, I AM SO DONE, may he rot in HELL..................He is so jealous i am friends with his first wife, she and I and her second husband are all great friends,, eat your heart out you moron!!!!!!!!!!!!

Never say never. That girl probably never behaved in that manner before either. What they do to you at the end, makes you absolutely crazy, hurried than a fruitcake. You find yourself doing exactly the opposite of anything you have ever done before. The crazy making is horrible. You are on the right track, just come to the forum. Unfortunately she didn't know about the forum. It's a shame. Good luck and stay strong!

His ex girlfriend is my sister in laws best friend.. I was warned by the ex girlfriend, my sister in law, my brother....the exg...even sent me emails he had written to her when he was with ME... He played it off as though she was the jealous ex. And he was just a very good manipulator, liar, brainwasher....and I believed it every time...HOWEVER....she planted a seed...a seed that always stayed in the back of my mind...and Im greatful she did....because of her...I knew what I was against at the end and knew I had to leave.. I shouldve listended...I have 3 young children who had to have their lives turned upside down....I shouldve listened for their sake...but they BRAINWASH you!!! I guess when you think about it..I finally DID listen and moved out, hence...here I am. 2 weeks after I moved out he was sleeping with someone else in MY bed,...he has been with her ever since (its been 3 months). I did write an email to her explaining all I have been thru...a very classy, tasteful email....I even ruined his "game" cause I told her everything he would do to try to win me back in the past (he used the same on his ex so I know he would eventually be using the same on her)...I wanted to plant the seed for her....I know of her and know that she is a newly divorced mom of 4...very vulneralbe...just like I was. I wanted her to know because he needs to STOP doing this to people...AND...of course...I dont want it to work out for him!!! I feel like I left.. and my kids and I were replaced with the snap of a finger...WTF?!? Anyway...I spoke with is ex girlfriend after the break up and our stories of him were eerily similar...but she validated my leaving him. I was warned...didnt listen...and here I am...live and learn!!

Yes ness, we never think it is going to happen to us, we never think we are going to be wearing BEEN THERE DONE THAT TEE SHIRT.... I always watch now how other people treat people[not just the narcs] b/c this is how they will end up treating you....if you let them...