Not another one?

13 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Dec 31 - 7AM
Tori
Tori's picture

Not another one?

I think I have mentioned before that my mother is narc. According to my aunt ( mums sister) she has always been like it and their maternal grandmother was the same. Anyway, since I have become more aware of NPD I have had a few suspicions about my 15 year old daughter, but I guess I kept pushing them under the carpet as I didn't want to accept it.
She has no friends, nobody wants to go out with her or do stuff with her. She goes shopping alone, and the only other person who will tolerate her is my narc mother. She is not geeky or dorky or anything, but nobody at school seems to meet her high expectations, she just criticises everyone. Most of her criticisms are aimed at me, and her 12 year old brother. I thought this was normal teenage stuff but today she went into a full on narc style rage.
She had asked me if I would take her to the cinema today which I agreed to. I woke her over an hour before we had to leave and she said "You should have woken me earlier, I can't get ready in an hour." I said surely she could but she insisted she could not and blamed me again. I was a little disappointed she had broken our arrangement but just carried on doing stuff downstairs. My son then asked if I would take him to a friends which I agreed to do. We were just leaving when daughter appears at her bedroom door, all dressed and made up and saying she is ready to go to the cinema now.
I explained that she had told me she could not go and that I now had plans with my son and we could not get there in time for the showing. She just went ballistic, screaming that she had told me she would go (er, no she didn't) and she then blamed her brother! I told her she needed to learn to communicate more effectively but she carried on abusing me, finally saying that she is moving out of home soon.
Part of me would love her to leave but it means (because of divorce agreement) that I and my son would lose our house 6 years earlier than planned and would cause me a lot of financial hardship, not just for me but also for my son.
Anyway, she then calls up my mum and they are slagging me off and she says, "Granny is taking me to the cinema." and off she flounced.
A lot of the things she said to me were pure projection, and I am so angry that she is blaming me for a situation that is purely of her own making.
Any ideas how I should deal with this? Historically if we argue and I try to talk to her calmly afterwards about what happened, she screams at me that she doesn't want to discuss it and it just causes another row.

Dec 31 - 9AM
indifferent
indifferent's picture

My adorable child turned into someone I didn't recognise too....

Dec 31 - 8AM
Tori
Tori's picture

Thanks to everyone for

Dec 31 - 1PM (Reply to #11)
Luv2bme
Luv2bme's picture

You never know..

Dec 31 - 8AM
Luv2bme
Luv2bme's picture

My experience..,

Dec 31 - 7AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

I don't know your background

Dec 31 - 8AM (Reply to #4)
Janie53
Janie53's picture

Tori

Dec 31 - 8AM (Reply to #5)
Tori
Tori's picture

Thanks Janie

Jan 2 - 8AM (Reply to #8)
Used
Used's picture

tori

Jan 2 - 8AM (Reply to #6)
Janie53
Janie53's picture

Tori

Jan 2 - 9AM (Reply to #7)
Luv2bme
Luv2bme's picture

Good point

Dec 31 - 8AM (Reply to #2)
Tori
Tori's picture

Thanks Hunter

Dec 31 - 8AM (Reply to #3)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

She clearly has issues.. She