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Is this normal?

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#1 Feb 12 - 6PM
Victim-no-more
Victim-no-more's picture

Is this normal?

When I think of him I feel only disgust and loathing...i fully understand what he is and he will never ever be back allowed in my life.....i am working on forgiveness and it is not easy.....i know he is a fraud and is not even a real person....but deep down,in spite of this,i feel I truly did love "him" and that I always will. Is this a good thing and is it normal?

Feb 12 - 8PM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

You loved him, or the

You loved him, or the illusion. He, is were the lie comes in, he is incapable of that emotion. So, the relationship was one sided. Your feelings were very real, unfortunately, he wasn't.
Feb 12 - 7PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

You did love.. However you

You did love.. However you loved an image he pretended to be.. I think you're making good progress.. Hunter
Feb 12 - 7PM
brinamarie
brinamarie's picture

experiencing the same thing

experiencing the same thing currently. the thought of ever going back repulses me.. i would never, even though i did "love" him deeply for 5 years.. but now, only Hatred remains. you can see it in my eyes, on my face. I carry it with me. I take it out on family, friends, coworkers, new men i meet. it SUCKS
Feb 12 - 8PM (Reply to #6)
stillstronginsp...
stillstronginspiteofhim's picture

you're still healing, give it

you're still healing, give it time, it gets better every day. You loved him ( an illusion of him) and he didn't. We are all in the same boat, they are all so alike its scary. Hang in there.......
Feb 12 - 7PM
Looking Ahead
Looking Ahead's picture

I can't speak for what is

I can't speak for what is "normal," but I know I often times feel sad because I truly did love the "fake" person, and still miss/mourn him. I don't know if I will ever totally get over the fake person, but like you, I will never let the N back in my life in even the teeniest way.
Feb 12 - 6PM
freaked
freaked's picture

me dumped again

Dear VMN...all i can share with yu now is HUGS...i have no wisdom left...i believe i am a raving lunatic for having gotten fooled by a love i thought was true...turned out more toxic than my miserable loveless marriage.. I am in shock, disgrace, and have been made to feel like a clingy HEEL by the hss who returned to my life 2 months ago...and in a short 8 weeks...he finished me off even more drastically than nh had. i feel LONELY as hell...hate this Valentine day crap... no guy i loved ever loved me back...or if they did...my clingyness drove him away...i feel depressed cos once again i played the game all wrong. Remembering quote by oscar wilde: a little sincerity is a dangerous thing, too much of it is absolutely fatal. I was so foolishly, stupidly sincere...no wonder my sweetheart dumped me.
Feb 12 - 7PM (Reply to #2)
HelpMeHeal
HelpMeHeal's picture

Valentines Day is going to suck so bad....

.... The thought of it tightens my chest. Ugh.....
Feb 13 - 5AM (Reply to #3)
Snowflake
Snowflake's picture

Valentines day only sucks

if you attach power to it. C'mon girls its another day thats all and a money maker for the card companies...