Normal

Hi Everyone,

Last night I had such fun with my husband and two other couples.

All of us are in our 40's and have been married for a number of years. I realized as we socialized, Gee this is normal, My husband told me I looked pretty and the two other couples interacted happily with each other.

I think we are so busy focusing on Abnormal rather than normal.

There is normal out there. Find it and embrace it.

I think the time with my narc was a fun escape, long term things would have ended the same. I now realize how he tried to mirror me. When I look back he has no class. It was all his Fantasy Island.

My Narc is a boring GNOME!

My Point is see it for what it was, These guys have no sense of self.

Hunter

kgirl's picture

Awww.... i LOVE that you had fun with your husband and he told you you're pretty!!! So normal and so very awesome :) Narcette was a collage of all she's stolen from people around her and what she mirrored off of me...ICK! XoXo ~KG
Happy1's picture

They are NUTS!! They have a totally different view on life and we cannot comprehend their world. It makes no sense!
ifinallygotit's picture

I battled for that with ex N and lost the fight. I had fun with normal friends all weekend, no drama, just relaxing. Thanks for reminding us! Ex n was boing - never read, only watched TV and played his lame games - did not even volunteer for years with little to do... I think his secret life, flirting and holding on to his old image were his hobbies...
wacaet's picture

I had a moment like that last night, too. We had some friends over to watch the fight (boxing) and I love having parties. We were all laughing and having fun and I thought "I walked away from this for him?" Then my friend's kids accidentally let both my dog & cat out at 12 am (poor kids were exhausted) and my dh & friends all helped look for them. My N wouldn't have helped, hell we wouldn't have been having friends over, I'd have been alone in my apartment waiting for him while he stood me up again and lied. Normal can be dull, my normal is sad a lot because of my husband's chronic illness (no sex, lots of hospital stays) but I won't ever wish to trade a minute of it for the hell my N put me through again. Oh and ironically, one of the friends that was over, had an affair with an N last year that I never knew about, she may join this site. There are so many of us!
Goldie's picture

We often get so caught up in the "hype" of the narc that we forget how boring they truly are. Even the smart ones are boring because it is all about them and after awhile it becomes redundant. My last NP was not very bright, however, initially I found him to be cute, fun, charming, loving, and he made me laugh. Now when I think of him it is completely different. He is selfish, cruel, makes weird noises when he eats, is weird sexually, likes stupid TV, has loser friends, sucks up to everyone and trashes them behind their backs, is a liar, theif, cheat, dresses badly, talks about nothing of any importance, never reads, watches boring porno, has no interests or activities of any importance, and has never done anything to help anyone but himself. WHAT was I thinking? I wasn't!!! I spent the day with my son. We had a NORMAL day. We laughed about the antics of the new puppy and the cat. He bought me a fire pit for the yard and we were out burning yard wood and chatting. He does not allow me to speak of the Narc which is also normal. Who the heck wants to hear about boring him? We went to church together and that was great. He is a nice, sweet, interesting son who loves his mother and does not engage in the bullshit of a Narc and it was great to enjoy his company without the Narc in my head. Woohoo, Hunter!!! I love what you said about just having a NORMAL time with NORMAL people who don't want to spend the day SCREWING with your head. I also like what you said about the Narc being a "fun escape" that is exactly what it was; an escape. Not real, not good, just an escape from the "real world" where people do what they say and say what they do, not a day packed with lies, games, make believe promises, heartbreak, and all the other crap that goes along with the Narc. I woke up so many mornings crying with the Narc because when I was asleep my subconscience would not allow me to live in denial and the first thing I would do in the morning was cry because I realized that I was sleeping with the enemy, the devil. A phoney, sick, lying, bastard. The good news is that we don't EVER EVER EVER have to go through anything like that ever again. Nice post, glad you are getting back into the "real" world again, the mainstream, where people genuinely care about each other. God bless, Goldie
michele115's picture

Is the best adjective for the Narcs...BORING... B O R I N G! Right up there with pathetic...too bad it is such a long journey to come to that realization... Thank Heaven's I found this forum. Hugs!
Susan32's picture

(In tribute to Lady GaGa's "Born this way") When I was young My mother told me That I was a superstar The life of a professor is so boring I go create drama. Because I'm bored this way I'm self-righteous, I think I'm God, I'm bored this way. I'm bored this way, I think I'm on the right because I'm bored this way.