no more texting

29 posts / 0 new

#1 Nov 9 - 1PM

Anari

no more texting

So I just had the urge to text him more stuff i know but I erased the text and am posting on here instead. To calm me.
I hate him. hate him hate him hate him. I wish ill on him. It's so hard to figure out what personna was real. hate him. I was better off with no contact like i had been from jan- oct and then after oct 14 blow up till now- and then yestersay ruined it.
hate him. hate him hate him

#2 Nov 10 - 9AM

Anari

You're really helping me!

Okay I have more anger I'm writing it down. The support on here is unbelieavable and the feedback helps me! Thanks. So heres what I want to write now--oooooh the urge. The urge. I should not write this right? But i'll write this here. My pretend text: You say you don't need people like me in your life, the added stress you don't need. Thats because people in your life don't ever tell you right from wrong they always agree with you and never allow you to grow. The people in my life will always tell me when I'm in the wrong- always and that allows me to grow. I dont' have yes friends - I have ones that make me see that I dont' always do the right thing like what I'm doing right now. Truth is you were in the wrong in this situation- and you need to be accountable. And truth is like how you say 'you're used to this' you're used to people telling you off-- well then ummm it's not them..it's you.

#3 Nov 9 - 3PM

Winter

Perfect Anari!

Bravo for coming here and vent with us! Not like him, we read, think and answer. We (and not him) will support you and help you and value you! Love Winter

#4 Nov 9 - 2PM

Alissa

Anari

Anari, you are doing so good!!! Keep writing, keep venting and DON'T TEXT HIM! Keep in mind he'll probably roll his eyes when seeing a text from you, he'll delete it after reading the first words. Don't give him that satisfaction. He doesn't deserve a text from you, he doesn't deserve ANYTHING. LOL he'll be so surprised : "uhhhhh no text??!!?? " Maybe he is checking his phone now to see if it's broken haha You're doing good!! So... SSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHH ;-) SILENCE IS HEARD

#5 Nov 9 - 2PM

Deidre40

out of curiousity...what were

out of curiousity...what were you planning to text him? it helps to share it here...and we can all laugh with you!! ((hugs)) PS: Just to share with you what happens when you break NC. My background? I broke things off with my ex…back in the spring. He baited and baited/semi hoovering…and then I’d cave NC. Just to see if we could ever just ‘be friends.’ So…one day, he called me. I took the call. Things were ok, until his tone changed…and he yelled into the phone something obscene, and then hung up. I never ever called him. EVER. One thing I’m proud of. HOWEVER. I did text him the next day, and told him off. In a stable way…no swearing. Just that he shouldn’t have spoken to me like that, and that I will no longer tolerate it anymore. I was somewhat kind though. His reply in text? ‘’You’re a fucking idiot, dee!!’’ That was it. So, trust us all when we say. If you break NC, you lose. If you stick with it, you win. Mine said the same thing…’don’t text or call me…leave me alone.’ Like yours is saying. But, that it their game. To see if you listen. To see if they can break you. DON’T BREAK. Trust me. Trust us. Breaking NC is like going back to the bottle of poison you left behind in the trash, and taking another swig. I mean…would we willingly drink poison seeing we know it can hurt us?

#6 Nov 9 - 2PM (Reply to #19)

Anari

My texts could be

"you said anari come by the stor anytime- we're friends" and you know you put your frigen store on sale and it is now SOLD. But i already knew that which is why I didn't agree to a friendship loser. you said a guy can make a fireplace for a girl, set the ambience be right next to her, sleep next to her, give her wine ( when she doesn't drink), and set up a nest of blankets and be right next to her, and you're saying we're just friends- loseer. you're an idiot. you owe money loads of moeny to everyone you said you were going to be a bollywood producer and that your film cameras are on it's way and that you had vip tickets to a big bollywood show. Well you're cameras are still coming and I went to the show and you weren't there. Loser. You wanted to make a patent in china for your product line - 2 years ago. You had the flight details all layed out. You retard I went to china 2wice and you still haven't made your stupid pattent for home depot retard. you said you wouldn't give me the satisfation on an apology but you can to people who do worse to you than me? I'm a true friend- they're shit. They're the ones talkign about you- thats how i got my info. You're a retard, there is nothing going for you. Now that the store is sold what are you going to do. Real Estate- fine? Just like you said you're into constructiona nd you've built 5 buildings and the police service uses your company to clear out grow ops? YOUR COMPANY DOESN't Exisist. I know one day you're going to marry that beautiful korean chick that you've replaced me for- teh one you couldn't even give me closure for because you were to eager to end our closure short so you could fuck her..but I'm better off... and one day.... one day... my revenge will come through. This is not about you not liking me back- or it being reciporcated this is about being strung along and being led on and despite me asking you honestly where our dating stood- you took the non answer route and then finally when push comes to shove you said ' im an honest man if I could see this going somewhere I would have told you'. Retard you're not honest. You're a creep and I wish nothing but bad on you. Id o. And the fact that you said to me that " anari my silence is my strength never think of it as a weakness" go to hell retard. hell. die. i hate you. hate you. I've never felt this way after a break up. hate you.

#7 Nov 9 - 3PM (Reply to #21)

dulcinea441

Anari, I know exactly how you

Anari, I know exactly how you feel. I can hear my own rage through your words. But believe me, he will only use such texts against you, to prove that you are crazy, a stalker, and so forth. You don't want to be accused of harassment and that's just what he might do. keep venting your anger here and stay NC. It is the only way to deal with these psychos. And remember -- they're not rational and they have no empathy or conscience. Who knows what they're capable of? When you finally realize that the teddy bear you've been cuddling is actually a poisonous viper, the only thing to do is to get as far away as possible and stay there!

#8 Nov 9 - 3PM (Reply to #25)

Hermes

What Dulcinea said

Listen to this again, Anari. "But believe me, he will only use such texts against you, to prove that you are crazy, a stalker, and so forth. You don't want to be accused of harassment and that's just what he might do. keep venting your anger here and stay NC. It is the only way to deal with these psychos." Don't waste any more time on this scammer. He is a pathological liar. Hermes

#9 Nov 9 - 3PM (Reply to #22)

Anari

Not sending it- but I'm going

Not sending it- but I'm going to be taking up alot of blog space. And nothing gets to him. NOTHING. I wana break him. NOTHING bothers him. NOTHING. NOTHING. Even my texts prior didn't get to him--- 'don't take my silence as weakness it's my strength'

#10 Nov 9 - 3PM (Reply to #24)

Deidre40

and let your silence be your

and let your silence be your strength.

#11 Nov 9 - 3PM (Reply to #23)

dulcinea441

Oh, but NC really DOES bother

Oh, but NC really DOES bother them. It truly is our best weapon. They hate to be ignored. Even if they've sucked every last drop from us and tossed us aside, they hate to think that their old "possessions" no longer "belong" to them. They hate to think that we've come to see them as the truly pathetic losers that they are and when we go NC that begins to torment them -- they realize that we've unmasked them as worthless fools undeserving of our continued attention. Believe me -- silence fills them with paranoia. That's one of the reasons they eventually start to hoover their old victims again, even years after D&D. Anyway, I'm really glad you've chosen to vent here. Keep up the good work and stay NC! Oh, and here's an entry from Lisa's blog by Nemesis about ST as the ultimate revenge: http://www.lisaescott.com/2011/08/27/no-contact-ultimate-revenge-nemesis

#12 Nov 9 - 3PM (Reply to #20)

Deidre40

i'm very glad you didn't send

i'm very glad you didn't send that. proud of you!

#13 Nov 9 - 2PM (Reply to #16)

Anari

Thanks so much- I know it's

Thanks so much- I know it's sick but I stick better when I think this is something he doesn't expect of me! It's motivating when I think he thinks I'm going to break NC. But of course as people have mentioned he's crazy he doesn't think. But i'd like to believe my silence bugs him. quick question- what does this mean in narc talk? " Don't take my silence as a weakness...my silence is my greatest strength" thats what he said. That means I'm not going to hoover biatch right?

#14 Nov 9 - 2PM (Reply to #17)

Alissa

"Don't take my silence as a

"Don't take my silence as a weakness.... my silence is my greatest strength" It means, YOUR silence, Anari, is NOT a weakness. YOUR silence is YOUR greatest strength And I have the feeling your Narc won't need much time to figure that one out!!!! YOUR silence is waaaaaaaaaaay STRONGER *** Also, I think he might be worried about his image, he might think: "oh Anari thinks I don't know what to say and I really don't, because I'm so stupid, but I can say 'don't take my silence as a weakness', that will make me look really smart " He feels dumb. LOL He probably picked that line up somewhere ;-)

#15 Nov 10 - 12AM (Reply to #18)

Anari

I laughed hysterically at

I laughed hysterically at this comment above! Thanks for making me smile in a long time!

#16 Nov 9 - 2PM

Deidre40

I echo spnining and

I echo spnining and hunter. My advice? STAY NC WHETHER YOU GET IT OR NOT. STAY NC WHETHER IT MAKES SENSES OR NOT. STAY NC DESPITE THE PAIN OF IT. Once you ARE NC for a good timeframe…and I mean 30 to 60 days, at least. (yes, it takes some time to really let it all go and stick with NC) …you WILL understand how beautiful it is, how it has nothing to do with ‘obeying’ him. Eventually, you will be like…wow, NC is the best thing ever! You will forgive yourself for caving with him. NC sets you free. But, for right now…until you get there…go NC despite not fully understanding it. Go through the motions with NC, and eventually…it will become automatic. You will never ever THINK of texting that asshole ever again. And then, we’ll all celebrate here with cyber-champagne. :=)

#17 Nov 9 - 1PM

spinning

Great work, Anari!!!!

This will pay off for you in ways you can't imagine right now! Truly! I am so glad you came here to post instead. Keep doing that. Get it out! We're here to help you and we care about you. Remember, even negative supply is supply to them. It shows him that you're still thinking about him, that you're expending time and energy on him. HE IS NO LONGER ENTITLED TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU AND HOW YOU SPEND YOUR TIME! His loss!!!! One step at a time, Anari, that's how you get your peace of mind and dignity back. You can do it. I am so proud of you for coming here instead of texting him! Your friend, (not) spinning. IT'S HARD WORK BUT IT IS SO WORTH THE EFFORT. I REFUSE TO SPIN FOR ANY MAN, FOR ANYONE!

spinning

#18 Nov 9 - 1PM (Reply to #2)

Anari

I don't know about dignity

I don't know about dignity I've lost it all.... and he expects me to go NC so I'm not doing anything surprising...but atleast he can't think I still think of him. thats key.

#19 Nov 9 - 2PM (Reply to #13)

Hermes

Anari and dignity

I echo what Hunter said: "" he expects you to go NC"" NC is for you.. This is no longer about him., He is crazy!! How can I make you understand this., He is crazy....., yes him .,a psychopath., For Your sanity and your safety NC is the answer., What said, did, does .. No longer matters., Last time.. He is "CRAZY" Hunter " Listen Anari. He doesn't care whether you are silent or not. He isn't thinking of you; indeed he never thought about or of you in the way normal people do. For an NPD the "other" is merely an object, like a fridge or washing-machine. Literally. So keep up the NC, be brave. Hermes

#20 Nov 9 - 2PM (Reply to #3)

Hunter

" he expects you to go

" he expects you to go NC"" NC is for you.. This is no longer about him., He is crazy!! How can I make you understand this., He is crazy....., yes him .,a psychopath., For Your sanity and your safety NC is the answer., What said, did, does .. No longer matters., Last time.. He is "CRAZY" Hunter

#21 Nov 9 - 2PM (Reply to #4)

Anari

ok- i'll keep venting on

ok- i'll keep venting on here. I hope you guys don't mind. I hate to drain you.

#22 Nov 9 - 2PM (Reply to #12)

Hunter

Make this your new home..,

Make this your new home.., vent all you want.. Have at it., Hunter

#23 Nov 9 - 2PM (Reply to #5)

Used

NO ANARI.....narcs drain

NO ANARI.....narcs drain us...NORMALS DON'T.....you are normal...

#24 Nov 9 - 2PM (Reply to #6)

Anari

i hope so. sometimes i think

i hope so. sometimes i think with all the hoovering i do i might be a narc!

#25 Nov 9 - 3PM (Reply to #7)

Hunter

Trust me .. We all go crazy..

Trust me .. We all go crazy.. We want answers., There is a reason behind that too.. There is always a reason .,, Once the D&D occurs they are done with you.. To the trash ., Now you want answers .. You don't get any., you blow up his phone ., unhuh!! Now who's the crazy one?? You!! It's easy for narc to explain your departure.. " she's nuts"" Hunter

#26 Nov 10 - 4AM (Reply to #11)

Gaia

Anari, everyone..

Everyone here is CORRECT! I was D&D by my xN about 7 year ago, was the first D&D. I blew up his phone, looking for answers, a reason..anything. he literally threw me to the trash, with NO REASON. I didnt know I was dealing with a narc then. And guess what, while I blew up his phone for months..he was sitting there SHOWING the OW his cell phone, saying " SHE IS CRAZY, ALL SHE DOES IS STALK ME". How do I know this, cuz when he came back after he was done w/ OW..his friends confirmed he was saying those things. He told everyone, I was a psycho stalker. They all say the same things, same man, different body , as Hunter said. Do the opposite, dont be the stalker, be the girl that pretends he doesnt exist. And if he ever sees you in the street, develop AMNESIA immediately. Trust me, that is the best revenge. Love. SG XX

#27 Nov 9 - 7PM (Reply to #9)

Anari

Your hunch is he'd be

Your hunch is he'd be back...but if I'm discarded to the trash.... does that make sense. Is this the rinse and repeat part...only if there is no supply right. I so want him to hoover so I can prove he's a narc...but i'm pretty sure he's done. BUT i really want him to hoover so i can remain NC but I know he's done. lol.

#28 Nov 9 - 8PM (Reply to #10)

Hunter

Nothing they do makes sense

Nothing they do makes sense if youre normal... Yes you are now trash.. Anything he does going forward will be to hurt and destroy.. The idealization stage is for him, he is a predator .. He got close to you so you would share your soul.. Tell him your innermost feelings... Now he has enough information to manipulate and hurt you for his own entertainment., his own needs.. "supply" He will take you back to the idealization stage as many times as you allow him to.. This stage will get shorter and shorter as you start to figure out his controlling abusive behavior.. Hoover .. Be careful what you wish for.. Again their mission to hurt and destroy.. You will not win.. If he is a Hooverer he will keep at you till you break.. Yes my friend these are " Master Manipulators" .. You will always have in your head the fantasy the dream you feel in love with.. You are truly underestimating the mind of a PSYCHOPATH!!!! This is no joke.. This is the worst thing you will ever experience in your life... Keep reading and learning you need to be strong because he will come back.. Hunter

#29 Nov 9 - 3PM (Reply to #8)

wannaletgo22

Anari

I SO feel for you...and empathize with you at the same time. I am not even close to being out of the woods with my N yet. (He is currently doing a big time hoover...that I am trying REALLY hard to resist). But I've been where you are so many times with him....where he gives me the silent treatment or treats me with absolute coldness when I try to get closure (and not just for me...for us both!!)...and on so many occassions, I would chase after him, completely ENRAGED at the treatment...and would send him crazy texts and emails...trying to get through to him..trying to get him to treat me like a human being. And everyone here is right....all it did was feed him...let him know that he got to me...and that he still had me. Don't give in to yourself...NOTHING feels worse than losing control...NOTHING. Giving energy to him is like depositing into a black hole...it does nothing but deplete you. (I need to listen to my own advice...trust me!! lol). Hang in there and stay strong!!

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