Nightmares

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#1 Jun 29 - 1AM
TraumaMamma
TraumaMamma's picture

Nightmares

Ick.

I had to return his stuff yesterday. He tried some pity party stuff and thought we should stop "missing each other".

Which I snuffed. He kept me up for 20 hrs (after I worked 11 days straight, told me I looked tired and I told him I was and then sends me an email next day saying it was the tiredest he has ever seen me and to get some rest....

When I told him he didn't respect my important job (911 operator) and my swing shifts and NEED to be rested and my tiredness, he told me I could have "Slept in the movie".

Every other guy/friend/family member has wanted to take me home when they saw me yawninga and get me tucked in.

That being said, he has entered my psyche and I don't like it..

I have nightmares of him barging into my house, I am folding his laundry, and he wants to talk about us.

I had a nightmare that I got fired from work, because I was tired and not performing up to par and he was IN that meeting with my bosses too. It was weird..it was like his strange avatar from facebook was there and I couldn't talk loud to say that he was the cause of me being so tired.

Is this normal??

Bleah.

Jun 30 - 2AM
dudette
dudette's picture

nightmares

are not the worst... happy dreams are the worst, because when you wake up, the reality sinks in and the whole nightmare begins again.... Hugs to you hun Dx
Jun 29 - 5PM
sara-smile
sara-smile's picture

traumamamma

Yes it is very normal. I've been having nightmares for a long time. This week they have gotten a lot worse. I can go weeks without having any but then I'll have them for several nights in a row. It's so frustrating because they are so real. Hang in there! Sara
Jun 29 - 4PM
Lobo555
Lobo555's picture

Normal

I think you're totally normal. Trauma produces nightmares. I have dreams that CharlieSheenWinning shows up in my house or in a pub I'm at. He starts hoovering and I tell him to bugger off. Hmmmm. . . is this a dream or a foreshadowing? Hard to tell. :) At any rate, I wake up breathless and anxious. I still have bad dreams about my ex-husband who left me 11 yrs ago.
Jun 29 - 9AM
mystwoman
mystwoman's picture

Yes, I'd say it's normal. I

Yes, I'd say it's normal. I had nightmares about xnh, his narc mommy, and his hideous P daughter every night for months after he D&D'd. It was bad enough that I had to live with his abuse in my life for 16-years. Now that I was away from it, it really somehow did not seem fair that I was having nightmares in my sleep every night about him as well. Lol. I got really tired of waking up angry and upset every night after nightmares concerning xnh. We've all been through a traumatic experience with these narcs. It makes sense that seeing him would trigger you. I guess that, in my case, the nightmares every night were my mind's way of working the subconscious toxins from xnh out of my system. It felt like trying to suck the poison out a wound several hours after a rattlesnake bite. The poison had just spread everywhere. Apparently, I had a quite a lot of poison to work out because my nightmares went on for months. However, in time they did slow down and eventually stop. Hang in there. Big hugs.

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

Jun 29 - 5AM
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

Nightmares

I had nightmares about him on a regular basis for over a year after I left my N. That was one year with little or no contact. Only what was necessary to get my possessions out of the house & to negotiate the divorce. Once all that was settled & the divorce decree issued 11 months after I left him, only then did the nightmares gradually abate. But in the first 6 months or so after leaving him night, after night, I had nightmares. I would wake up upset, fall asleep, another nightmare about him, all night, every night. I was exhausted. But, I was still much better than when I was with him. When I was with him the PTSD was so bad that my hands had a tremor all the time & I thought I was going "crazy." The nightmares for me were PTSD. I like the line that you could have slept in the movie. If you were going to sleep in the movie, why did he need you to go with him? And was he paying the admission price for you to sleep in a movie? Lines like this reveal how little they care for us? I hope it is all over now between you two?
Jun 29 - 10PM (Reply to #2)
TraumaMamma
TraumaMamma's picture

The movie

It would have been impossible to sleep thru. IMAX. The loudest movie of all. Thing is, he pressured me to dinner, I didn't think he got my email that I said things were over and unrecoverable. When I met him out over a drink, he did say he "got the email and preferred to not think about it" Then pressured me again and again about the movie until I finally buckled. I worked 11 days in a row. Graveyard shifts, then on my two days off, two afternoon shifts in a row followed by the day shift on the day I met him. I was up at 430am that day and got to bed at 1230am that nite. He had the ballsack to tell me after the movie and walking me to my car "HEY, am I a great date or what?" I mumbled..yeah, too bad I am not. He asked me to call him when I got home. I was so tired, I missed a few streets and was irate when he called. He kept saying how great it was to see me after a week of NOT seeing me (because I sent that email he didn't want to believe) and he kept going up an octave on what a great time he had. I kept saying I can't believe I didn't kill anyone. He hung up. OMFG. Oh yes darling, it's over. It wasn't a long relationship. But, I was married to a Narc, a cop for 12 yrs. (I've been divorced from him for 10) So, perhaps this brief dating of this Narc re-opened some wounds for me?

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.' --Mary Anne Radmache