This is a nightmare

10 posts / 0 new

#1 Jul 13 - 6PM

Anonymous (not verified)

This is a nightmare

To face somebody three to four times a week, who so cold heartedly D&Dd me 7 weeks ago on the phone and then hung up on me, is eating me up inside.

He just continues to turn the screws and I can't avoid it.

For two people to be in a relationship for 12 years to now be in a room together and pretend that all is well in their lives and never even discuss what happened is so unhealthy.

Now when I go into his work he is over the top laughing with his coworkers who prior he never really talked to. Further more I don't think I've ever even heard him laugh out loud in the whole time I've known him. I am literally invisible,completely ignored. Like I never entered the room.

Meanwhile I pretend to be unaffected and I just talk to the other guy that works with him.

I really don't know how much more of this I can take. I feel like I'm still being devalued and hated by him, and I really just want to call a truce.

I'm not indifferent at this time. I hate him. Somethings gotta give. I fantasize about beating the crap out of him.

I think about you ladies and I'm trying to take one for the team but I'm a normal person and to pretend like I am fine isn't normal and honestly seems really unheathy and I'm pretty sure I'm not fooling anyone.

That being said I know I can't crack because if I say one word about it as sure as the sun rises in the East, he will annihilate me.

He is so f--king evil.

Why can't he just go on like me and be civil, after all he's the asshat that duped me. The way he is treating me now you would think it was the other way around.

I feel like I just can't win and it is so unfair.

I guess I'm just having a pity party.

I don't know what to do.

#2 Jul 14 - 3AM

ruby01 (not verified)

Thanks everyone

for your guidance. I know you all can truly understand my predicament. Unfortunately I don't have the option of changing/quitting my job. I am a package car delivery driver. Love my work and I've been with the company 12 years. Out of 120 drivers I am one of a total of 3 females, something I am very proud of. N even made the comment one day "Some people get paid way too much money for doing nothing." He was suppose to be my supportive BF and is actually the only person I've ever heard try to make my job look easy. Sooo, I'm not sure. I was thinking that maybe my coming there will cause him stress and he will somehow get his packages delivered by my competitors. I think you can choose delivery method when you place orders online. I really don't know the answer. Unfortunately there is really only him and one other guy at his work so avoiding him is difficult. Maybe he will just wear down and find other interests and I will bore him to the point of indifference. He is very devious and I know from experience with him in the past that he is obsessive about revenge on people that he feels have done him wrong and will retaliate. He has told me on several occasions about coworkers that he got fired. But they didn't know it was because of him. Back stabber extraordinaire! This is another reason I have to being careful to remain professional when I am at his work. Something will evolve with this situation I'm in. It can't continue the way it is now. I fear he is so twisted that I am no match for him.

#3 Jul 13 - 9PM

Puzzle

I know how hard this in

I know how hard this in because I have been in the same situation as you. No one can really understand the weirdness of seeing a Narc every day and going about life as though nothing ever happened between the two of you and acting like strangers. I think it can be compared to a horrible nightmare on some hallucinagenic drug. Sometimes it just fucks with your head and other days it is easy to play the indifference game. I found it harder by the end of working with the Narc. I worked with him for 7 weeks and that was enough. It was doing my head in more at the end then at the start....because they start to act like you are invisible and you start to question whether they are flirting with this person, plotting, what are they saying about you? Could they possibly have cared about you? why are they smiling and getting on with life as though you don't exist? I know one thing for sure I can't go back and work with the Narc, you see them moving on with their life as if you were never a part of it. Is there any way you can change jobs? departments? desks? I really think that you will never move on if you have to see him every day. My thoughts were what happens when he gets a new girlfriend I will be able to tell and I will find out. I have no job now and no work. I've given up a lot, and possibly screwed the start of my career, but the sacrafice had to be made. I'm taking my savings, being irresponsible and going travelling around Europe for a few months to cut my ties with work and him. The choice was made for me in the end. I was like you not knowing what to do. I'm glad I am out now. If you do leave be prepared of the come down after. I now know I will never see my Narc again, and it is tough working with him, but tougher to face we are extinct to each other now.

#4 Jul 13 - 8PM

michele115 (not verified)

You are not having a pity party...

Your feelings towards this torture are legitimate... Keep purging, they will pass and don't devalue your process for healing... The whole point is to get it out uninhibited. We get it and understand and this is the place to purge and vent. Hugs!

#5 Jul 13 - 7PM

Hunter

He is a sick pig! Know that

He is a sick pig! Know that he is crazy and keep ignoring! His behavior reflects that your silence is working. You may not think so but you r the winner here. Hunter

#6 Jul 13 - 9PM (Reply to #6)

empath

agreed! silence drives them crazy

The N is overcompensating, and behaving in this manner to try to provoke the kind of response he knows HE would have if YOU were doing that to HIM. He is projecting. Ignore it, and he will only try harder. Attempt to reason with him and work out your "truce" and he will dance with glee knowing that he's gotten to you. Any conversation with him at this point is going to leave you dazed and confused. Remember he is as mature as a 7 year old child, that may help. And do whatever you must, to rid him from your daily work environment, whether it means going to HR for a transfer or finding a new job. Your health and well-being are too important to continue to allow him to adversely affect them. You are doing the right thing, in not engaging his crazymaking behavior. Now that you've got yourself firmly under control, its time to get this crazy N under control so you are able to move on with your regular daily life. (((hugs))

#7 Jul 13 - 7PM (Reply to #5)

ruby01 (not verified)

Thanks, Hunter

You guys are truly my secret weapon against him.

#8 Jul 13 - 6PM

enpsychopedia r... (not verified)

Never say you are having a

Never say you are having a pity party, kay? You are heroic to be able to sit through that abuse and not be reduced to a quivering mass of protoplasm. 5 seconds of it would destroy me! I honestly don't know how you do it. Do you have any kind of spiritual affinities, beliefs? That might help. No contact is great if you can do it, even physically, but when you have to work with human detritus like that. EWWWWWW.....Keep on writing, let us know how you are feeling, day by day.

#9 Jul 13 - 7PM (Reply to #2)

ruby01 (not verified)

Know what

I'm only in his work for about 5 minutes, but he makes really good use of it. I have always believed nice guys/girls finish FIRST. and I still hold on to that belief. Thanks for your thoughts. I greatly appreciate them, Ruby

#10 Jul 13 - 11PM (Reply to #3)

strivingforhealing (not verified)

my thoughts are so so with you

I have had to make major changes in my life in the last 6 weeks- I live 2 blocks from him. have mutual friends and the same charity work. I have had to cut ties, go down different streets, and get off FB just to name a few. and ya know what- these acts of total separation and NC from him ARE BRINGING ME PEACE. I know totally disappearing from his world is directly connected to my decreased anxiety. Is there any way you can change something in your schedule/work/responsibility for the next months to NOT SEE HIM? I would really try to make this happen. You are a brave warrior woman and I know you can heal from this nightmare!

Path Forward Buy Now Reviews
All About Her Buy Now Reviews
All About Him Buy Now Reviews