Nervous breaksown or PTSD

FIVE OF THEM MARRIED.9 total. You could say 5 long dog years. Trying and trying so hard to make all of us happy...for that was my one and only dream since a dysfunctional childhood, and he knew that. I wanted a happy family and a safe home. That was it. When we married we began to look at homes, and did it the whole 5 years, in all our spare time. I can't cound the ones we considered seriously, but he put money down on 9 of them. He never saw any of them through though. I think he enjoyed getting the kids and I excited , then pulling out of it for various reasons. Is that possible? That would be a psychopathic game would it not? Enjoying our disappointment perhaps?.

What was your business you loved so? Was it gardening, sounds like you have a voracious talent for gardening, and close to nature

I give this to my 8-year-old hyperactive granddaughter as well, it is pretty good!

She told me I have NAFLS. Non alcoholic fatty liver syndrome, or Steatosis? Sorry about spelling. My glucose had been fine the first testing round, but she did say I would have to watch it. Part of Metabolic Syndrome....I'm told to do rigorous exercise, weights, the fat blush diet (I'm not fat...I only weigh 130 something lbs?) ( stay so down and depressed, agorophobic, shakey, confused, that it's hard for me to do many things, sometimes, impossible. Panic attacks occur lots, especially when I'm out around people? Hate the grocery store now! Everything reminds me of him, and how I catered to him...lost myself trying to make him happy, while he was with another woman for 2 years and has now left me and the kids to fend for ourselves? I'm overwhelmed with all the decisions to make, so I can't make any. I need a job pronto, for I haven't worked in 22 years. No education either. Two teen age sons that need things and are great kids! How am I going to take care of them? How am I going to get them through college now? He always promised to take care of everything....up until the very end, he didn't want me to work or go to school. I feel like he set me up to fall on my face, if he even gave us that much thought! These people are not human.

I was also prescribed Xanax for my anxiety attacks, took them only as needed (when I was having a panic attack), I have had a prescription for them for many months. I need them less and less as time goes on (and the attacks are farther apart) and I did NOT get addicted to them. There are times now when I have an attack and go to take a Xanax and before I have the chance to take one, the attack is passed and I don't even need it. My doctor gave me a very low dose. Is it possible to ask your doctor if your dosage is appropriate as you said they did not help you during one attack? Keep the communication going with your doctor. It sucks that you are having physical problems along with the emotional and mental destruction an N does to us. I really hope that your doctor works with you to get you healthy in every way.

Hi, Yes I understand where you are at. I have been, and am, there too depending on what day/time/memory/feeling is happening. There is no easy way through this. I used to sit and stare for ages and force myself to do stuff. I have to with kids. I just keep trying to process things and try not to beat myself up for all of the symptoms that go with recovery from a traumatic experience. I have been emotionally raped and it feels that raw! It is normal to feel as low as low. It's a very scarey process but just know that if you sit with it the feelings will pass after you feel them and they can never be as intense once they are worked through.