neighbor XN

know how you feel
November 26, 2013 - 12:23am — SF
0
Vote up!
Hi,
i am new to this forum, but am feeling very angry, as you are that my ex-fiance, Narc, has mived on as well. i broke off the engagement on the Fourth of July ( Independence Day, imagine that,) after he was drinking and basically bleww off my kids and me to continue partying with some neighbors. told me to find something else to do, his kids were gone, etc., etc. I was completely devastated. not because this was the first time he ruined plans with me when he was getting attention from someone else, but that he did it to my kids... i gave back the ring that night.
he of course, wasnt prepared to replace me yet, so begged for forgiveness, when i told him of my plans to take my kids away on vacation so i wouldnt be home on what was supposed to be our wedding day. he pouted and was very sweet, saying he deserved to be left home alone, and wanted to work things out when i got back. i did my best to enjoy my trip and not think about him until he kept texting and sending pictures telling me how happy i looked and how miserable he felt. of course! he wasnt getting my attention!
i came back and told him things needed to change and we had to talk to figure out why we were constantly up and down and on and off. his solution was to look for houses . this was a huge step, as he had always insisted ater the wedding we should all live in his house togehther, which i was never comfortable with. wanted to make a new start all together. (we each have three children)
he took me o look at a house he wanted on the lake, for the boat he managed to buy last May, even though he had no omeny to helpmpay for a wedding or honeymoon... while standing with the realtor, he said, "I like this house. i could see myself living here." !!!!! Himself?! the realtor asked whether he could see the rest of us there with him. i said thats what i was waiting to hear, and walked away. he pouted and said w should just forget it. he started hinting that he had done some things with friends while i had been gone, and that other people know different things about him than i do, like old friends from high school.... i couldnt figure out what he was getting at, but knew he was definitely picking fights and playing more head games. i finally broke it off for good on Labor Day weekend. within a week, he had another woman over, whom i caught at his house when i went to return something of his. he denied anything was going on, but within a week admitted he had slept with her. said i dont know her. shes an old friend. she knows everything about us. what a piece of sh*%!
now this would all be difficult enough, but i also am a teacher, and have his daughter in class. i spoke with his ex wife about the situation, and she told me he had cheated on her while she was pregnant, which i had not known. she told me several other things about him, like his controlling nature etc....
i have had lots of support from friends. my problem, besides seeing his daughter every day, and the fact that we live in a small town, and that i love his sisters and daughters, is that he lives right across the street! OW is literally over there every night, even when he has his kids.
he, like tigiangel's N was not a good lover. in fact, he and his ex-gf, my ex-neighbor, had told me the women he had sex with never had orgasms! ever. because he didnt carer whether they did or not. i, of course, saw that as flattering, that i was able to with him. i thought it was about us. i think it was actually just that i was able to make sure i did. plus, he knew i wouldnt continue with him if that were the case.
anyway, i know all sources say to cut off all contact, NC, but how do i do that when i have to look at his house and her over there?! i have put my house up for sale, but am waiting on a good offer, and then have to find somethingnsuitable and affordable for my kids and me. and why should i have to move to be happy? this is our house!
i feel trapped. and he knows he has me stuck. i also know he doesnt give me a second thought. i am nothing to him. used up. useless. i hate him. hate. hate. hate. and i dont want to feel this way!
help.