Need support :(

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#1 Jan 25 - 11AM
RubyWoo
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Need support :(

I feel really down today... I feel so worhtless knowing I was replaced whithin weeks (probably even before breaking up) so unsexy, so crap about myself. I keep thinking she was hot and sexy. I keep thinking about him and her kissing and sweating together, it makes me sick.

I keep thinking why, why, why did he move on to someone else so quickly. Didn't I mean anything? Couldn't he stop to think about me while he was taking that other woman's panties off?

Am I really that easy to forget, to replace, to ditch?

He's off with that slut and I'm all alone. Six months almost and no guy even looks at me.

I want to curl up and die.

Jan 25 - 1PM
GeorgiaGirl
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Ruby

About 4 years ago, I felt the same way with my first ex's gf. She was the 4th or 5th OW he'd had since I'd moved out but the way he talked her up, I was certain gf was the next Miss USA and I was heartbroken. I'd never seen her but my mind ran amuck with the "she's this...she's that...I'm nobody...I'm nothing...I'm ugly" BS. After he'd been with her about 5 months I ran in to gf at one of my kids' events. She looks like a HORSE!! I kid you not, it's Mr. Ed time, boys & girls!!! Neigh! Neigh! All the "wonderful things" about her that I'd conjured up in my mind was total crap...she was not very bright, had already had 2 failed marriages, had 2 daughters with major behavior issues and I later learned that the people she works with can't stand her. They've now been together 3 years and the dysfunction between them is readily apparent...for the past 6 months they have not gone anywhere together. She begged for an engagement ring back in September but he refused and my kids said she RAGED in front of them all. He is still living with her (as a parasite) but I don't see it lasting much longer. Turn the focus back on you, Ruby...the wonderful gifts, qualities and things that make you AMAZING! That's where you should be looking...inside at your heart, your strength, your courage. {{{{hugs}}}}
Jan 29 - 1PM (Reply to #11)
RubyWoo
RubyWoo's picture

Thank you Georgia, I am

Thank you Georgia, I am trying to have confidence but it is SO hard when he's out enjoying his life, having sex with other women and I sit here all alone... It seems so so unfair. I feel really down tonight... Your story made me smile though, horse-face OW, haha. I have seen the OW's pics and they are beautiful though, more than I am. And I feel like shit about it :(
Jan 30 - 3AM (Reply to #13)
midnight7
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Dear RubyWoo, if we continue

Dear RubyWoo, if we continue to think about the xN, remain in tune to his life we are still somehow in our minds having a 'relationship' with him - our connection cannot be fully severed. We don't think about other people in this way and we have to learn to let go re the xN - where he is, what he's doing well, you know - we really don't give a f***. We must come to a point where thoughts about them are fleeting, few, and far between and we achieve this with time, healing and getting out there in the world. The hardest thing to comprehend is that it wasn't personal, we could have been anyone, he's incapable of love, capable only of manipulation, control, lies, and constant abuse - who would miss that. OW well, if you read enough posts here, they are in hell, living the exact same relationship we had, in despair as we were - who would be envious of their position? I've sat at home on occasion feeling lonely after the breakup and wondering why I felt so alone (Ns brainwashing had us believe no one else could possibly be interested in us). I realised I'd actually have to leave the house to meet people, and when out remember to smile again! I'd become a bit of a recluse!! The dark thoughts can't follow us if we are out in the world, engaging with people, filling life with activity, with purpose - a full life of love, respect, sharing, empathy, adventure, and fun. One short life but we have to get up and start living again difficult though it may seem at first. We'll get there.
Jan 29 - 3PM (Reply to #12)
GeorgiaGirl
GeorgiaGirl's picture

I know the loneliness all too well

but please remember that these assclowns CANNOT be alone...they get their entire personality/who they are from other people. This means they take the first piece of ass who will have them and will LIE, LIE, LIE to get it. Once the lies start falling apart and the truth shows thru, whoop OW is gone! I'm sorry you feel really down...if you are like me, your self-esteem has taken a hit the size of the titanic. It takes time, Ruby, to find your way, heal and start to build your life again. It isn't fair but its just the way it is. And please don't focus on how "beautiful" they are...some of the most beautiful women I've known were shallow, empty idiots that you couldn't stand to spend 5 minutes with. A normal man would rather have someone with a great sense of humor, a bucket full of empathy and the ability to carry on a conversation (ummm, that would be you!!).
Jan 25 - 12PM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

You are getting jammed up

You are getting jammed up because you are taking this personally. There is NOTHING personal about this. He does not view you or any other person for that matter, as a human being. He see's you only as an object. Ruby, you know these things as fact, now you just have to wrap your head around it and accept it for what it is. It's hard, I know. Been there, had to do it. And it was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. You will find your way, but before you do so, you have to see and accept him for what he is. This is NOT a reflection on you what so ever. You look at a loaf of bread, it's a loaf of bread nothing more, nothing less. You look at a tv, it's a tv, nothing more, nothing less. You need to look at the narc as the same. He is a narc, nothing more, nothing less. Release yourself from the emotional hold he has over you. Only then, will you stop doubting yourself and your abilities. And the OW, has nothing over you. No more than I do or anyone else on this planet. It's him, not you. And the OW, that he is kissing and sweating with right now.......she's is history. The sad thing is, she doesn't know it yet. You my friend, are at an advantage, you DO know. Start liking yourself again, caring about you, loving you and eventually, you will look in the mirror and the person looking back at you, will remind you of how beautiful, loving, caring, and yes, even sexy, you are! Hang in there and find the strength to dismiss him. Take your power back from him. You can be in the drivers seat if you want, just take the wheel away from him. Before he steers you over a cliff! Stay strong and shift into high gear. You can do it!
Jan 25 - 1PM (Reply to #8)
RubyWoo
RubyWoo's picture

Thanks Sparrow... I'm really

Thanks Sparrow... I'm really trying not to read anything into his behaviour but it is so hard not to take it personally when he says "you're the only girl I will ever love" Then why did he do this to me? How could he forget about me so quickly? I'm so depressed, I might as well end it all.
Jan 25 - 1PM (Reply to #9)
GeorgiaGirl
GeorgiaGirl's picture

Ruby

Suicide is NEVER the answer...not even as a joke! Your life is sacred...God created you for a reason and you are letting some ASSCLOWN jerk you off the path you were meant to be on. I agree with Hunter...a one on one with Goldie ASAP!!
Jan 25 - 11AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

This guy is a text book

This guy is a text book Narc.. No worries.. That slut will be next on his list of victims list.. Look at the Big Picture.. I think you should schedule a one on one with Miss Goldie.. Hunter
Jan 25 - 1PM (Reply to #2)
RubyWoo
RubyWoo's picture

Thanks Hunter... I'm trying

Thanks Hunter... I'm trying to stay strong. Might consider a session with Goldie, but I'm in Spain so time difference might make it hard!
Jan 25 - 7PM (Reply to #6)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Goldie can work it out.. If

Goldie can work it out.. If your interested send her a PM.. Hunter
Jan 25 - 6PM (Reply to #5)
Isis
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I'm in Portugal. PM me

I'm in Portugal. PM me anytime you need. I know exactly how you feel.
Jan 25 - 1PM (Reply to #4)
Used
Used's picture

rubywoo

YOU COULD PROBLEY STILL WORK SOMETHING OUT RUBYWOO... GOLDIE TRIES TO BE FLEXIBLE....
Jan 25 - 1PM (Reply to #3)
spinning
spinning's picture

Rubes, it's still possible...

Goldie sets things up on to work with time schedules. You are worth it. Please consider it an investment in your recovery! Ruby Woo, today is a tough day but tomorrow is another day. Another chance to walk the path toward the light and choose yourself and your happiness over wasting more time on a liar and manipulator. Truly the OW should get a sympathy card. How many "wonderful boyfriends" do you know who dump you in the middle of their dad's dying process? Wow, what a great guy she's getting! You and I have the distinct pleasure of being dumped at a time like that...lovely isn't it? Just wait til she needs something of substance from the hollow man! Whatever, it's her problem now. Ruby, here's what I know about you. You are smarter than most people twice your age. You excel in your area of study. You just got a job you love. You are strong and capable. You have a great sense of humor. You are beautiful and caring. You have many great things in store and waiting for you to focus on your outstanding qualities. Sweep the debris of this disordered liar out! Rub, six months NC is a hurdle of a milestone. It truly is. Ask Hunter, ask anyone who's crossed the six month line. What you're feeling is normal. Just feel it and let it go. TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY FOR YOU TO EMBRACE YOUR SHINING QUALITIES SO THAT THE WORLD MAY SEE THAT SHINE. If you keep trying to do that every single day, you will attract the light and love you give back into your life. Love, (not) spinning. AND SO VERY GRATEFUL FOR THAT

spinning