In need of some help

After 3 years of begging and intimidating and endless threats and tears to keep me in this "relationship" I think he has finally gone. Yes I should be pleased but as we know it's a struggle despite the abuse we've suffered and how bad we feel.

Anyway his wife of 12 years threw him out 3 years ago when he met me though she knew nothing about me for 2 years after he'd left her and only because I phoned her and told her because I suspected he was lying to me and her. Well that was more than a year ago. She seemed cold about him as she has done right up until we finished. It looked to me like SHE was doing nc. She only contacted him once in 5 months because their 12 year old son had tried to cut his wrists with scissors.

She told me just weeks ago when I asked her for help because he had got into a fight with my son that he's not her problem anymore and she is moving on with her life. No emotion. No drama. She appeared to be loving again going out set up a business doing great without him. I was envious because I thought look how happy she is and I got him and I'm miserable.

Well here's the part that's stopping be in my tracks. We have been nc for 4 weeks. He went silent on me and I text him to say ok give me the silent treatment permanently I'm moving on and he said fine you already had. That was it. The end of three years. Now as some if you may blinis I've been here a long time and have received endless silent treatments and discards. Anyway I wouldn't contact him. Didn't contact him and once agin tried to get over him and build up my strength again . I've been really good. Haven't seemed him out have avoided good g anywhere where I might bump into him as much as possible. The only thing I had done was look at herr Facebook because I was so in awe of how her life was loving on and I thought well if she can do it so can I. She uses it for business so she's not putting personal stuff on there but she seemed to be living normally and having a life.

She'd put on there that she was going on holiday for a week so wouldn't be taking any work for a that week and I thought great good for her ! She's managed to get over him and so can I . Then quite by accident and coincidence ( meant to be ?) Friday night I had to go and get my son late at night because he missed his bus and I had to drive by the ex wife's rd as I often have to and never think anything of it. Well his car was there. This would gave been the night before she was going and it was very late to be seeing the kids.

My initial thought was he's hassling her and jealous because she's moving on and he won't leave her alone as I suspected all the time he was with me anyway.

Anyway to cut a long story short I've tried to ignore it and say I don't want know and avoid finding out but I knew it would have to get back to me. And he's not around. Looks like he's away.

I know it's none of my business and it's what all these psychopaths do etc but I just can't get it right in my head and it's making me think I'm wrong about him.

Could she just take him back after 3 years away from him ? I Know he's triangulated us so she hasn't been out of it but I thought that since she knew about me over a year ago shed cut him dead.

It's making be doubt that he abused her too. It's making be think he's right it was all me. He'd never behaved like this until he met me. It's making me feel terrible !!!

Is she just recycled supply or is she the love of his life and I was just a big mistake ? I thought I was doing better this time I've accepted it I'm working really hard to get over him and understand why I've accepted this abuse. I've spent time with friends. I've asked for support I've told them how I feel. I've done everything I can to avoid knowing what he's doing and now this !! I just can't cope with it. I hadn't even cried now I'm a mess I can't stop crying.

I know he's a psychopath. Hes terrible but he was also perfect too and I can't get my head right today. It hurts so much. Could she be that stupid ? Doesn't she care ? Or was I wrong about him ? What is going on in my head