Need a refresher .

That is the stuff bad dreams are made of Scoop, and you need to get this man out of your life immediately, NO contact and do not look back. Why not start today? When he calls, texts, e-mails do not answer, and under no circumstances should you initiate any contact. Your Man is a Narcissist and he gets off on watching your reactions to his cruelty. Hard to believe, but it empowers him to watch your tears. He likes it even more if he can degrade you, d&d you, then change his mind and have you come running back. He will do this over and over again. Believe me, I got caught up in this for 8 YEARS. Get out before you waste any more time!

You are being emotionally manipulated by a man who has no empathy or sympathy. that kind of emotional abuse can cause health problems and is not good for you in anyway. It is a form of mind control that will end with you feeling terrible and he will just move on. he used you in public and private just to hurt your feelings. It is called in legal terms 'intentional infliction of emotional harm' and in many countries you can sue people for damages. In the US it was a major cause of action for divorce. If you know any solicitors ask about it. If you are confused by his behavior then you are healthy. this is not the way normal men behave. The only way to control the emotional roller coaster this behavior triggers is NO CONTACT. No matter how interesting the benefits are- in the end you will have nothing. the only thing a woman gets from hanging out with a guy like this is older. you deserve a much better man in your life.

He's just using you. I'm sorry to say because I know how the reality hurts. Mine D&D'd me when I began outing all his lies to me. After two years he just vanished on me. When I bumped into him at a store after a month of no contact he excused himself to the men's room and never came out. In short it destroyed me for almost a year, my life was a wreck so I know the pain you are feeling now. This is going to be hard for you but you need to get him out of your life. Have no further contact with him, he will continue to use and abuse you if you allow him to. You deserve to be treated so much better. After months of him not calling me all of a sudden he was Mr. Wonderful showing up on my doorstep with not one but three bags of my favorite candy, Hershey's kisses in different flavors. I foolishly let him back in thinking all would be well only to have him dump me again. I was so angry at myself for being so weak to take such a bastard back. Don't be his whore because it's all about sex. Go no contact and don't look back.

I went out with a guy a bit like that. He totally destroyed me emotionally, my last narc was "just" a scary guy along with some abuse. The guy who emotionally ruined me took ages to get over. They make no sense whatsoever, they project all their insecurities, rubbish that goes on in their heads onto you. And wind you up while doing it. With the last person, he'd also be all over me, but the night before he'd be ranting at me and scaring me in a hotel room. One time we did a pub quiz and everyone would be like "Aw, you two look great together" and "get a room jokes". But by then I was thinking "yeah, if only you knew, he'll be threatening to leave me tonight, or head-butting the table, and scaring me senseless". They put on these great fronts. All of the above hurts, as I now know they aren't really capable of real love. I suppose the only comfort I get is that it isn't personal. None of this is about you as a person, it may make no sense as we wouldn't do it, but they'd act like this with a plank of wood/the next poor unfortunate who they get involved with. I obsess a lot, now I try to make myself do something else, read a good book, get on with work. It is hard though to stop when in bed, I just try to clear my head, am working on it, good luck.

Boy that's really cruel. And sort of making my STBX look good. Actually most N's I hear described here do. Financial entitlement, lack of support, social embarrassment, smearing, general dickishness are about as far as mine went and it was COMPLETELY maddening at that. I can't imagine dealing with such abject rejection on the heels of fake passion. I'm really sorry. I agree though, no matter what the level of inhumanity they dish out, best not to try to make sense of it. Maybe try to re-imagine that time with him, but in his place put an alien life form sent here to study and perform cruel experiments on Earthlings.

Hi scoop, I'm doing all that too at the moment. I'm trying to figure it out. Gradually though I am coming to the knowledge that the relationship I thought I had wasn't running on the same agenda as his. That alone is manipulating cos it meant that he never shared any of his thoughts with me. It wasn't honest. It's so crazy. There I was thinking that you can get used for one night but I never realised that a man can put in a lot of effort in a whole relationship based on using ........as supply I suppose. I can't wait to finally believe what I am telling myself instead of having an daily inner battle.

You know, it sounds very old fashioned saying this, but these are my thoughts. You were used. He didnt want a relationship. Just some sex. You were willing. Have showed that you're willing to be used this way, so he does it all the more. I don't want to hurt your feelings. But if I were your friend, this is what I'd say. It doesnt seem hard to figure out, but you are right in it and its not clear to you? He can manipulate you, so he does.