Need help

24 posts / 0 new

#1 Oct 8 - 2PM

Alive

Need help

I need help...Im so angry and upset. My heart is beating so loud and fast. I HATE HIM. Im crying???? what the hell for? I should be HAPPY and MY child should be HAPPY after what he has emailed me but i am so full of hatred and pure evil, i'm afraid that i will let myself go and find him. Throw him back the text's, the violence, the abuse, the hatred, the control, the evil, the OMG i could go on and on that he has given to me and my child. WHy do i feel like this, he is so bloody good at this making hiself look good and he loves my child, maybe its because i know that it is fake, fucking fake bastard. It's all FAKE, this is what is making me angry and upset. He would not know how to send me emails like this, all he knows is SHIT.

#2 Oct 10 - 8AM

Alive

My

Mind is going forward to when he returns after 5 weeks. AARGGHH why should be able to come in and out of D life? This is not good for her. :(

#3 Oct 8 - 9PM

Alive

i

am laughing now about the situation. Is this ok do this? am i in shock?

#4 Oct 8 - 2PM

Briseis

Why do you think he makes

Why do you think he makes himself look so "good"? It sounds like you are convinced that he makes himself look good. Are you?

#5 Oct 8 - 2PM (Reply to #2)

Alive

yes

i am convinced

#6 Oct 8 - 2PM (Reply to #3)

Alive

because

he has too,not because he is and that pisses me off. Full of shit

#7 Oct 8 - 2PM (Reply to #19)

Briseis

So do you believe him? Or

So do you believe him? Or do you think he's a wanker and a loser? Why does it piss you off that he's so pathetic? What does that have to do with you? Just because he aims his nastiness AT you doesn't mean you have to accept it or even respond to it. When he does his Narc thing, you don't have to respond at all. I know you want to reach out and smash him back down, we all do. But that's just playing his game with him. He smashes you down so he feels better. You in turn smash him down so YOU feel better. And on and on. What a waste of your life.

#8 Oct 8 - 3PM (Reply to #20)

Alive

wanker

and loser. because i let him make me look pathetic. Because i am the mother of his child..:( crying now.. No i have not responded to it, only by going NC. x

#9 Oct 8 - 3PM (Reply to #21)

Briseis

Read my other reply. I want

Read my other reply. I want to help you get to the point where he can't make you look or feel pathetic.

#10 Oct 8 - 2PM (Reply to #7)

Alive

ok

He feels NO guilt, he feels NO Nothing...freggin nothing about what he is about to do. He could not give a toss. It's all about him, he is a complete and utter FAKE knob head. (excuse my swearing)

#11 Oct 8 - 3PM (Reply to #8)

Briseis

LOL get that anger OUT

LOL get that anger OUT girlfriend :D I was a psych nurse for 17 years and I can cuss most folks under the table and hardly ever blush :D No DUH he feels no guilt and no nothing. What does that have to do with YOU? Do you really think if he never ever feels guilt that you will be in bondage to him forever? Do you need HIM to feel guilty and bad so you can finally be free? Get real, my dear friend. He is incapable of feeling guilt. He is missing that part of his brain. It is not there. He can't feel it. You need to get a grip and learn about Narcissism. At this point, he is not holding you hostage. You are holding yourSELF hostage. By demanding that he feel something he is incapable of feeling. Give up. Let him go. Stop using him as an excuse to not get on with your life :) I had to have about twenty people tell me this before I really got it LOL, so don't forget I was in your shoes ((hugs)). I just stepped out of those shoes and know you can have freedom. It's not about him at this point. It's YOU causing this, inside your own head. Not because you are stupid or wrong or sick. But because you've forgotten there is a YOU in the first place :)

#12 Oct 8 - 5PM (Reply to #18)

michele115 (not verified)

Thanks Breseis

Get real, my dear friend. He is incapable of feeling guilt. He is missing that part of his brain. It is not there. He can't feel it. You need to get a grip and learn about Narcissism. Thank you - I needed to remember that today, I had some dreams and had a pang of "concern"

#13 Oct 8 - 4PM (Reply to #17)

shortway

Brieis is awesome...You put

Brieis is awesome...You put it into words so good!!

#14 Oct 8 - 3PM (Reply to #9)

Alive

yes

i want him to feel guilty BUT i know he never will. I have been reading about narcissism. What is me? I am a mother, a good worker, a loving and kind person. But i could rip the head off him right now...

#15 Oct 8 - 3PM (Reply to #10)

Briseis

I'll bet you could! You

I'll bet you could! You could be the Madonna and he'd piss in your pocket and tell you you deserved it. It's not PERSONAL, is what I'm saying. It seems as though you feel you have to DO something when he takes a punch at you. As if his Narc nastiness means something about who you are. I thought getting out of a Narc relationship was about firing them from their position of Giving You Any Shit. You need to be Teflon, girl. Let it roll off. Ask yourself why it matters to you what he says. He's a raving lunatic. If you didn't believe him, it would roll off of you. The trouble is, you believe what he says, you're still buying it. Stop buying it. Don't hand over your money. He's just a MAN. He's not your peer. He's mentally ill. He is not your equal. Yet you take what he says and let it get inside you and ruin your day???

#16 Oct 8 - 4PM (Reply to #11)

Alive

yes

thats how i feel- i feel i have to do something when he takes a punch at me. I have to FIGHT back because if i dont then i feel as if i have not stuck up for my child and myself. Maybe i do take this personally, is that wrong? why does it matter to me what he says? because he is talking about our child and its all bullshit from his freggin mouth. Knob. I went for a drive and thought about this email. Bloody email!! thats all it was. It says to me I am doing what i want to do, i am passing the responsibilty as i have always done to my family.I dont feel guilt as i have been playing a game of NOTHING anyway, what difference does it make? I dont care really if i cant talk to my D but i just thought i would mention that because of the time difference i cant talk to her. As long as I am happy then the rest of you can go and fuck yourself. You all sort it out by yourselves. My family are more than willing to have MY D because my mama is wanting her anyway she is in control of me, i might hate her but i am willing to let my D go to her because I am doing what i want to do, i have the money and resorces to do want i want because i have given my MAMA what SHE wants. I LOVE ME AND NONE ELSE NARC BOY (no kisses as i DO NOT DO KISSING)

#17 Oct 8 - 5PM (Reply to #14)

better off

The reason it's not personal

The reason it's not personal is because it literally has NOTHING to do with you. You could be ANYONE and he would act the same way. There is nothing you could do as an individual to have him NOT treat you like garbage because that's all narcissists DO is treat people like garbage. It sounds like you deciphered his email quite well... now go one extra step and realize this is what he would write to any person he had a child with. When they say their crap, it's like someone pulled a string in their neck (how old am I to talk about strings? I mean you could press the little button for the chip, haha) and the same shit would come out. It doesn't MATTER who pulls the string, the same answer comes out. No matter who is holding Buzz Lightyear, the only thing he says is "To infinity and beyond!!" So it is with them... he's saying the only things he ever will say no matter who is playing with them. Please take heart, and also, I would be pretty damn thankful for every single day and second that he was NOT with your daughter.

#18 Oct 8 - 5PM (Reply to #15)

Susan32

It's not personal

A year after the D&D, talk about life being cyclical... I ran into a paper by the ex-Psych professor in which he insults colleagues USING THEIR WHOLE NAMES in the first footnote. This might be the same paper that got him to go off on me freshman year. I realized... he went after students (such as me)... he went after his own social equals who helped him with editing... (said persons in the footnote) I was no longer the ex-P's Special Victim. It was humbling, but I needed it. It was also a relief.

#19 Oct 8 - 9PM (Reply to #16)

Alive

humbling...

oh dear yes i know....:(

#20 Oct 8 - 4PM (Reply to #12)

Briseis

Yeah its wrong to take it

Yeah its wrong to take it personally LOL :) It's like seeing dog crap on the ground and then rubbing it all over yourself and then whining that you smell like poo :D His shots at you are dog crap. Let them lie there and stop rubbing them all over yourself. It's "wrong" because it's not good for you. Does that make sense? Not a judgmental "YOU'RE WRONG!!!" but "that is bad for me, so I shouldn't do it" type wrong :) I get it. I thought I was being a complete doormat if I didn't stick up for myself. But we're all adults here, not a couple of kids banging each other over the head with our toys. Adults stick up for themselves in adult ways. Can you see President Obama getting into a nasty email fight? Nope. He would IGNORE. He would feel so above that nonsense he would pretend he didn't even notice it. In the last few months before the end, I started ignoring my Narc's jabs at me and him trying to get me upset. I know for a fact that "got him back" worse than any defensive stuff I could shoot back. I would behave as if I was above noticing such childishness. On the inside I was SEETHING and wanted to scratch his eyes out. But you know what? The more I ignored him, the better I felt. And pretty soon, I stopped seething so much. I could get over it without going into an emotional tailspin and ruining my day.

#21 Oct 8 - 4PM (Reply to #13)

Alive

I

will not email a response to him. I will make sure that my child is HAPPY and i am HAPPY. I want to forward the email for everyone to see but im scared... i just want all your thoughts on it.

#22 Oct 8 - 2PM (Reply to #4)

blueeyes

It is amazing

How angry we get and then we cry. I think we cry for our children? They are innocent and it makes us mad! Idk your whole story but I do know that these men will do anything to keep us from being happy!

#23 Oct 8 - 2PM (Reply to #5)

Alive

yes

im crying for my child. Im sorry, i am crying formyself aswell, is this so bad? i have been through this with my other children and their father so i think, i should now better....I think of sending my story every day, maybe tonight when i have calmed down. I just fel that i want to go and find him and let it rip at the moment, im so scared that i will i dont know who else to talk to, that will understand???? I have spoken with my mum, she says 'you should be happy, take this as an opportunity'...

#24 Oct 9 - 9AM (Reply to #6)

MsVulcan500

My mom always told me

My mom always told me to be the bigger person. Don't stoop to his level. He's not someone you want to be, so stay above him. And a friend told me not to give up my power. Don't give him your power by responding to his crap. Then he sees you are upset and that is supply for him. This way he knows he isn't even worth your time to write out "F YOU" to him. That's how little he matters to you.

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