NC

So I think I've finally gotten the strength to go NC. It has been 24 hours. How do I make myself stop loving the person I thought he was? How do I make myself stop wishing that this was all a bad dream and I'll wake up and he will love me and value me for who I am? How do I make the pain stop? How do I pick up the pieces when all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry? How do I just go go with my life as if the past four years didn't exist? How do I stop being afraid and feeling worthless?