1. Home
  2. Forums
  3. Narcissist Forums
  4. The Path Forward Forum
  5. Narcs Are Bottomless Pits!

Narcs Are Bottomless Pits!

13 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Jan 2 - 8PM
Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Narcs Are Bottomless Pits!

My exN always had a "crisis"! Always needed help with a bill that needed to be paid "immediately" or his vehicle needed repair, or he needed a certain tool for work, or etc, etc! He always had a dilema! His gf after me said he nickle & dimed her to death! The N talked her into putting him on her checking account. She made his truck payment, she paid his car payment so it wouldn't get repod, she put him on her vehicle insurance, he talked her into getting a bank loan...all within 7 months! (Not to mention, he never paid for anything after he talked her into getting a place together!) She said it was never enough for him & that he was a bottomless pit! She was a single mother of three kids & he didn't even care! He stuck her with everything! (Even had cellphone disconnected cos N ran it up calling "sex hotlines"). Most unhappy person I've ever met in my life! Were any of ya'lls Narcs like that?

Jan 4 - 7PM
time_to_move_on
time_to_move_on's picture

yup

nothing in his life went right. He lost his great job because he was bullied (yeah right, though I think he may have met someone else personality disordered who clashed with him). He couldn't ponce off me as I had nothing. But he always moved in with different women or flattered gay men to get free housing (long story). He did try and move into my dead mother's house with me, but it lasted less than a month as he finally drove me crazy. Other women in the past have given him money when they've split up (probably paid him to go... who knows). He also had a beautiful italian leather suite, was worth about £7k. He told me that him and an ex had got it, and she'd let him take it when they'd split. I later found out (through the woman's mother) that when they'd been together the gf had got it on hire purchase, and after they split she'd once been crying as she had no money and was still paying for that.And the mother told me about this, but was secretly in love with him so didn't seem to realise how weird and what a user he was. My ex tried to play the ultimate victim, he threw pity-parties fro himself all the time. Yuck.
Jan 5 - 12AM (Reply to #12)
destiny (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I forgot about this story

I forgot about this story from Narc(actually two of them) someones posts tonite about furniture and it reminded me of this. Narc- had this huge- i think 52 inch big screen TV- he told me that an xgf who was an attorney used to get discounts with Sony , and she said well it will be mine too once we get married, so why not...so the story from Narc is that she paid half(i doubt that) although Narc was working when they dated, doubt he paid half. then the story goes when they broke up she wanted the smaller TV that he had in the bedroom(ummm, now why would a gal want a small TV and not the big one) yea, ummm i bet she wanted that large TV back that she paid for!!!! and he laughed about the thought of them getting married. Another xgf bought him deck furniture(he still has it , yet never used his deck EVER) for his birthday so HE could cook her a romantic meal( she must not have known my Narc..he couldnt chop a vegetable(i had to teach him and he started cooking because of me.(to be like me more like it) he still would talk about how she ruined his birthday with that gift. Im sure there was more to that story. Me- I gave him a gift card and demanded it back in the mail overnight right before he D&D me...it appeared in the mail the next day. I needed the money for food...y aknow what he said to me...ohhh i was out looking for a CD drive I was going to get you with the gift card(how cheap with my money he was going to get me a gift) LOL He has all his little support group disabled groupies believing he is poor and starving....yet owns a blackberry and so much more techie equipment. It is a joke! has a roomate to put on the act he cant afford rent(when he indeed can) he just wouldnt be able to live in luxury! He had me paying half my way when we went out and he got this Large bonus last year(that i forgot all about until the last D&D was final) Im sure he used to laugh each time I paid my way. and yea, no thanks at all... when I believed he was almost homeless and helped him get his disability..putting in.long hours 24/7, no pay and no thanks to make sure a man I just met didnt loose his home like he was posting all over the support forums. Makes me angry. I wonder who he will get to answer his tax questions this year...and get legal advice from etc. I hope the day comes where he has to pay for such services. jerk! “It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.”
Jan 4 - 7PM (Reply to #11)
TexN (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Time_to_move

When i met my N, he had no furniture. He literally had lawn chairs in his living room. I felt sorry for him cos he said ex gf had taken all the furniture! When he & I split, he told new gf (she told me) that he had no furniture cos he said I kept it all! He has another new gf & his apartment he temporarily had did not have furniture. I would bet my life he told her the last gf kept it all! The truth is, it was never his...loser doesn't even own furniture!
Jan 3 - 10PM
Carolyn
Carolyn's picture

They don't have much of an

They don't have much of an internal life so to feel alive they generate drama. I put mine through grad school. What a dummy I was. He never even consulted me just applied in secret. I had no real frame of reference for how to defend myself and just went along. he got a great jobs and of course blew one job after another because of his behavior. I don't think they look at life like an adult but like a child and they want to be dependent on people financially and emotionally: they get something out of using women After I divorced and the OW divorced him I think my ex just couldn't fend for himself in an adult world and is now living in some desert area a loser and alone. the gal with the kids who supported your ex must be angry at herself but it takes awhile to figure it all out. that is why this website is so great.
Jan 4 - 12PM (Reply to #9)
TexN (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Carolyn

Grad school & he still can't amount to anything?! My exN is a welder by trade & sometimes makes up to $45 an hour. The only thing he owns is a truck & car, which the bank is always threatening to repo & he's behind on child support. He says he's sooo skinny cos he has no money to eat! I just don't know where is money goes! Like yours, I'm sure my exN will never amount to nothing. Did u have any kids with him & if so, what do they think of him?
Jan 3 - 12AM
destiny (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

yup, mine needed me to proof

yup, mine needed me to proof letters, would ask if an email sounded OK, before he sent it off. the one OW said he would ask her the same thing(some nites Im sure he was asking both of us opinions on the same email) Tax questions, health questions.. looking back he rarely did anything on his own. Something was always happening to him too(karma?) once the mail was stolen out of the mailbox he put it into..he had to cancel his bank account etc..his car was hit..and that involved drama..with me helping him via my N father with advice..and also my friend giving advice. He actually called me from his CPA's office last year for help(i was at dinner and refused to answer my phone) we were just friends then..so he didnt have that hold on me. when we got back together the final time..his life had crashed, so there was much less going on with him...he basically only had interaction with me...there were no letters, or emails to proof..and nothing major drama wise except for between us. Plus he had a hobby building toy models..so he would occupy his time with that. Still to this day I dont know what he does without me..I was his main source of NS..and really would go out of my way to always help him. A tough void for him to fill, but also not worth the risk of exposure.. One OW called him a downer... another told him she had her own problems and no time for his. I can only hope one day he will run out of people to use and be left to figure things out himself..much like what has happened with my narc father. “It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.”
Jan 2 - 9PM
4joys4
4joys4's picture

Yes! High drama. Always

Yes! High drama. Always something going on. They dont know the meaning of peace. Mine was always playing a game. Daily. In the end he took everything I had. Used me up emotionally and financially. I called mine "The Big Black Hole".
Jan 3 - 9AM (Reply to #5)
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

Drama Queen

Mine was a Drama Queen! Made a theater even when one was not necessary just to agitate me. And, if I said, this is really no big deal. WHAM! "You don't take my feelings seriously. This is very important to me!" Gee. Once he became outraged because I did not take seriously enough that children should not feed ducks because they poop & change the chemical balance of the pond for marine life. Didn't talk to me for days. (Just sucked the life out of me.) But, when I suggested that he go down to the water edge & tell the parents to have their children stop feeding the ducks . . . well, I guess the ecology of the pond was not that important to him to confront and disrupt the lives of the people who were actually doing the damage to something very important to him. But, he tied me down with financial obligations & family. I saw the BS but I was so financially & emotionally entangled. Losses if I stayed. Losses if I left. But, the loss ratio was greater by staying. I wish I had left once I started to recognize the BS (which started almost immediately after I married him & bought a house with him). Mine would always tell me I was crazy. In a way, he was right. I was crazy to put up with his BS. I guess that's the pathology there! Always folding in on itself.
Jan 3 - 6PM (Reply to #6)
TexN (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

agnesmurphy

I was called "crazy" all the time too. They pick fights about the stupidest things. My exN once was furious with me cos I was teaching our daughter the days of the week (singing it like they do at school), starting with Sunday. Well, he argued with me that the first day of the week was not Sunday and why was I confusing our daughter?! I told him to look on a calendar and he argued with me that the calendars were wrong...what a blockhead! It makes me mad that he took so much from me, financially and emotionally but like you, at least I got out with my sanity...or did I?! lol!
Jan 2 - 10PM (Reply to #2)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

yes

Soul Sucking Vampires who NEVER have enough and are NEVER EVER satisfied... ever. BLECH! This history of past upheavals can be more subtle than the narcissist having to physically pull up stakes and move to a new place... If you are acquainted with someone who keeps telling you about how they had to get rid of this person, that person and the other person where all the blame rests on the other party or they had to get away — you are witnessing a “history of past upheavals” and it is a sign you are looking at a narcissist. Moving about geographically is only one outward sign of past upheavals. High turnover in social circles and relationships is the subtler sign. I call it subtler because it requires a knowledge of that person’s social history for you to follow the trend. http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.com ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Jan 2 - 11PM (Reply to #3)
James (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Yes yes yes

just one of the many traits and one I hated the most. They contently need something! Funny thing is once you meet their need albeit money or current problem, they will forget about it and then act as if it really wasn't that important so one doesn't get an thanks or any type of appreciation from them. I remembered how she would go weeks not talking with me. But if she had "another" problem, Boy did I get her attention ASAP! Really use to piss me off!! http://james-personalitydisorder.blogspot.com/
Jan 3 - 10PM (Reply to #4)
helpmefromn (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I know about the opinion

I know about the opinion asking thing. I thought it was bizarre how much affirmation he needed about his company and if ever I criticised something of his jokingly, he would no longer wear it.. Zero confidence. He was always complaining about economy, and the work, and this and that.. everything was always a disaster -- I felt like I was his mom, but I did notice he never said anything bad about the people in his life.. I WANT A MAN, DAMMIT!!!!