1. Home
  2. Forums
  3. Narcissist Forums
  4. The Path Forward Forum
  5. Narcisssits and their step children

Narcisssits and their step children

5 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Jan 8 - 10PM
c_jennings
c_jennings's picture

Narcisssits and their step children

What has been the experience others have had with their narcissist and children from their previous relationships? When i first met my N he was so wonderful to my son but soon after we married it started to change and once we had our own child it was a marked difference... a total D & D. My sister and I called him a Langur Monkey, since the males will come into the pack and often kill the off-spring of the previous dominant male. It was a complex relationship/situation that was very detrimental to my son. I realized along the way how he was competing for my attention and trying to diminish my son and gain control.

I would be interested in hearing what others have experienced and i did not see that discussed in here.

thanks

Jan 9 - 9AM
GeorgiaGirl
GeorgiaGirl's picture

StbxN

treated my 3 older kids like gold when I first met him. Had no problem spending money on them, going to their events, taking trips with them...he played superdad. Their real dad sucks (exN#1) so I was thankful to have a healthy role model in their lives (insert sarcastic laughter here). Shortly after the wedding, which was 1 1/2 yrs after I met him, things took a drastic turn. Suddenly my step-son, 5 at the time, became his golden child and my kids were shit on his boots. His son could do no wrong and stbxN would verbally attack me for reprimanding his son in any way. Then our daughter was born and it got worse. The golden child was suddenly perfect, he no longer wanted my older kids around/he was competing with them for my attention and the baby may as well have been a couch pillow for all the attention he gave her. StbxN started working longer and longer hours and making excuses to not participate in family activities. When the golden child was diagnosed with ADHD stbxN went off the deep end. The abuse towards me ramped up 1000% and he would get in my face and rage anytime I so much as looked at his son cross-eyed. Here I am, raising 5 kids alone, working full-time, battling postpartum depression but constantly being criticized and condemned for EVERYTHING. 8 months after the ADHD diagnosis, my 4 kids and I moved in to a domestic violence shelter and he locked us out of our house. A few months ago the kids finally told me that he had been verbally attacking them when I wasn't around. I won't ever have a long-term relationship again with someone who has kids from a previous relationship...narc or not. I'd rather be alone.
Jan 9 - 7PM (Reply to #3)
13Moons13
13Moons13's picture

My second child but oldest

My second child but oldest son has tourettes syndrome..he is quite high functioning..straight A's in school, plays hockey, golf and the trumpet...he sometimes has ADD or OCD The N made it a competition about our sons..his oldest son is a fantastic baseball player..the N wouldnt let his son try to ice skate or do anything my sons were a lot better at.. Toward the end I started noticing the N gas lighting me about my son...what a horrible human being...
Jan 9 - 8PM (Reply to #4)
GeorgiaGirl
GeorgiaGirl's picture

StbxN was a triangulation master

I caught him on two different occasions telling his golden child that he didn't have to listen to me...I wasn't his mom. Well, stbxN has full custody of him and I was the one raising him...so hell YES I was the mom! I stopped being involved in his son's life after the 2nd time I caught him telling him not to listen. The kid was 6 freaking years old and talked back to me worse than any teeenager I've ever encountered.
Jan 8 - 10PM
needing2know
needing2know's picture

We never got married, but we

We never got married, but we were together for 7 yrs. In the beginning he did a lot for my kids, and his own, what ever they wanted for their birthdays they got from him. About 2 yrs in he changed, he didn't ask them what they wanted or anything, he stopped telling them happy bday , and started treating them like they were beneath him. His own kids treat him like shit and he rewards it! But that's how he keeps them in line, if they do what he says they get what they want. The last week were together he got pissed at my son and slammed him on the back of the car and I also found out he busted my son upside his head and then said " do you really think I won't treat you different than I treat my own kids" I was never around when he did these things, I use to yell at him for the way he hit his kids because it was down right abuse! He is an ex prison guard and he treats his kids like inmates, and everyone else he come in contact with.