Narcisgone's Story

My troubled story

I was with my ef gf for 18 months. In that time it was a whirlwind romance and now in hindsight all the red flags make me wonder why I didn't act sooner. We never dated and we met online. Within a week of actually physically meeting we were for all intensive purposes living together. Every weeknight and weekend. After a couple of weeks of this things started to occur. Secretive with her mobile. I went away for work and she contacted me to say one of her ex's needed a place to stay so he was going to stay at hers. Then there was other dates. Constant lies about her job and What her role was.. Then she Lost her job. Within three months we had our own place. Constantly I was accused of Cheating and lying. Again I was away for work and she had guys over to our house. But I was to clingy and needy. There was no affection, no intimacy from that point. I had to beg for sex or any sigs of gratitude but always it was my fault for that. I was always told I wasn't an affectionate person. Fast forward antOther two months and she physically assaulted me and came at me with a knife me night because I had a clients mobile number written on a piece of paper and I was accused of it being a girls.. I ended up with a black eye. She Always hide her mobile and wanted to have access to mine. She would message friends from my phone to find out. Post things on my fb page but all the while I had the problem and I couldn't be trusted.

Then there was the 3 times I caught her on a dating website while we were living together. She would ask for space and I would have to move out of my home. All the while she was going and seeing other guys. She admitted she had done this before as a guy gets to close to her and then she gets bored and is looking for some "fresh" contact. She continued to profess all through this that she loved me and wanted a future with me but couldn't trust me. I mean I am not perfect
there were things I lied about in the beginning however it was nothing to do with cheating

Then she begged me to propose and buy her a ring and I did because she had me so sucked in and believed it was all me at had the problems. Two weeks after we got engaged she asked for space. Over the past 5 months there has been pregnancies, other guys and finding out she was working as a escort all the while asking for us back being intimate with me and having me around her and her family. I was always told I had problems, that I was never good enough never earned enough money etc etc. 5 weeks ago she asked me to move back in and she loved me so dearly and wanted us. Two days later she started seeing someone else without being honest... The guy is a car salesman where she was looking to buy a new car. Prestige type cars... The last night I saw her to get my stuff she begged me for sex (after she was seeing this new guy) after 4-weeks of NC she has text me to say she is seeing someone and is happy but a part of her wishes things were different. I didn't reply so then she started asking me about my daughter and how she is. From reading all there is on narcissist behaviours and wondering if she will be different with this new guy, rationally I know she won't change. But the pain is still very real... Thanks for reading my story...