Narc andOW at my birthday dinner

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#1 Jul 27 - 1AM

Smarter-thanthis

Narc andOW at my birthday dinner

Just when u think it can't get worse.......

He sat across the room with her KNOWING it's my first bday without him.

This truly was pure coincidence.

He should have left. I kept it together thou......all my friends and coworkersl that were with me just laughed.

I am A MESS inside.........nobody understands.

Did this really happen to me?????

#2 Jul 27 - 10AM

twisted

I just got a sick feeling in

I just got a sick feeling in my gut for you. YUCK.......EW.......WANT TO THROW UP....... Whoa, seriously credit to you for holding it together!!!!! I'm facing this situation coming up soon, I have to attend a mutual friend's wedding where it is a very likely scenario that it will be a super awkward little rendezvous with me and my new healthy BF, and exNarc there with OW. Good times. If this wasn't such a good friend I wouldn't be going. I am DREADING it. It makes me sick just thinking about it. But at least I have time to psyche myself up - you got hit with a narc drive by sucker punch! Geez happy fricken birthday to you! UGH that SUCKS!!!!!! On the bright side....you survived that run in with dignity in tact. And THAT is AWESOME!!!!!

#3 Jul 27 - 8AM

Sparrow

Smarter, you are NOT

Smarter, you are NOT pathetic! Nor does anyone view you as that except for yourself! I personally think you are being way to hard on yourself. It's over and done now, move on and leave it where it belongs, in the past. Nothing you can do to change it, so just learn from it. Why in the world would he "accuse" you of being with more men as he has hi OW on his arm? Think about it....like Hunter suggested....Triangulation. Don't be so hard on yourself!!!! Seriously........every single one of us has been there! Smile

#4 Jul 27 - 8AM (Reply to #19)

Lobo555

I'm with Sparrow on this

We have all fallen into the trap over and over again -- that's why we're here. Would you call us pathetic? Would you think that any of us deserve what we got from the narcs no matter how many times we broke NC? Of course not. So, what's true for us is true for you. None of us deserved any of this. None of us are pathetic. We're all digging ourselves out and should be proud of ourselves for doing it. Be proud you held yourself together. Be proud you realized what he is and are getting away from him. Be proud you are here and are working to change things. {{{hugs}}}

#5 Jul 27 - 8AM

Puzzle

That is my worst nightmare.

That is my worst nightmare. You poor darling. I would have fallen to pieces. I am so proud of you for staying and continuing on as nothing had happened. You should be so proud of your strength, even though I know it would have been agony on the inside. What a dickhead for staying he should have had some respect and left, my God it was your birthday after all. What a jerk, it just goes to show that you kick his ass...he is just a wolf in sheeps clothing xx

#6 Jul 27 - 7AM

Gullable1

B day

Don't give it a second thought, it was you day? Your time. You can't control what he does, only how you react You recant of the evenings events should read: I had birthday dinner with, friends and co-workeers, place was crowded, I know many in the crowd, most however, we're strangers ...

#7 Jul 27 - 8AM (Reply to #16)

Lisa87

sorry went off about U2 below

I can totally relate as my exN and I always go to the same restaurant and I could easily be in the same position. You did good, stayed strong, proud of you! I was in a similar situation when we were getting back together the 2nd time and a "friend" from New Orleans was visiting (staying at his house) and we were all supposed to get together for drinks at our restaurant, after he was going to have dinner with her to "catch up on things". I was meeting him there with friends and he was pissed that I got there before he did so he ignored me during the whole dinner with this girl. My friends and all the bartenders were shocked at the way he acted, like I didn't exist...all the memories of times when I was so freakin confused by him and the next day was though nothing happened.

#8 Jul 27 - 6AM

Hunter

Smart

Sorry, been there done that! I wonder how the OW enjoyed her dinner! He created a very nice triangle! Idiot, just stay away from him, this to shall pass, Hunter

#9 Jul 27 - 6AM

Susan32

When they choose to flaunt..

Is VERY calculated. Your Narc KNEW you were vulnerable, so he did it. It was to kick you when you were down. The ex-Psych prof flaunted his girlfriend at a concert (I didn't even know she existed, tho I constantly asked him if he had a partner)... right after a pastor friend of mine had died. With my friend's death, I was incredibly vulnerable, and the ex-P would still berate me, flaunt his girlfriend... a NORMAL man who wasn't romantically interested in me would've been much gentler.

#10 Jul 27 - 4AM

Sparrow

He is a menace. He preyed on

He is a menace. He preyed on you while disrespecting the OW..............total loser.

#11 Jul 27 - 4AM (Reply to #2)

Smarter-thanthis

Sparrow......I took everyones

Sparrow......I took everyones advice and tried to go out and enjoy my bday. I can't believe he was at the same restaurant. I broke NC, 2 hrs later at the concert we all went to, and sent a pathetic text MSG. He replied happy bday, and then accused me of being with more men. I never saw the cruelness in my face like that. I stood in this room, in horror, for 2 hours and was trapped looking at them. I am sick to have finally seen, what I feared all along I

#12 Jul 27 - 4AM (Reply to #7)

Sparrow

He is a game player.

He is a game player. Twisted..........a manipulator. I can see how it could possibly ruin your birthday celebration. Did you break NC because you wanted to reach out to him or did you break NC because you wanted to tell him off? We have all broken NC at one time or another. Try harder in the future not to let him get to you. This is what he wants, and he goes to great lengths to do so. Mine texted me on my birthday while we were both attending the U2 concert. Not together of course! I wonder how the OW would feel if she knew this...........thought of asking as my response, but decided to just say "Thank you". I am not NC with narc #1, have no need to be.........narc #2 is a different story..............both of them sent me birthday wishes............it's just an excuse/opportunity to "get in your head". Today is a new day, start fresh, with your head held high and a big smile on your face, you survived his plan to foil your celebration! Be proud, and don't beat yourself up over breaking nc, like I said, today is a new day. Smile

#13 Jul 27 - 5AM (Reply to #8)

Smarter-thanthis

Sparrow, odd

I broke NC because I wanted to reach out. Like seeing it in my face wasn't enough for me.......odd.....it was a U2 concert here too......I got so sad during a song and sent that text. I deserve the response that I got

#14 Jul 27 - 6AM (Reply to #11)

Reddley

What is it with these guys

What is it with these guys and U2? Another thread someone else was talking about the concert too. Same concert my ex N and I were supposed to go to coming July 30th. I can't even listen to U2 right now to be honest... makes me think of him. He had literally thousands of bootleg concerts in his collection. Fuck it! I'm tossing all my U2 cd's and deleting the mp3s.

#15 Jul 27 - 8AM (Reply to #12)

Lisa87

U2 with me 2!

Amazing, the last hoover attempt in March was sucking me back in with trip to St. Maarten and U2 tix in Montreal in July, we live in Boston and were going to drive and stay for weekend. He knows they are my favorite and used every ounce of his charm and generosity to suck me back in. Worked for the trip and shopping spree but I D&D'd him a week after we got back so no U2 concert for me :( I'm moving on and got off the rollercoaster ride, I can only imagine what his D&D would have been to me had I kept it going, he started with a few nasty comments to me and that's all I needed to cut him off swiftly and permanently. As hard as it was and still is from time to time, I was the one who always did the breaking up..he would still be hanging on.

#16 Jul 27 - 5AM (Reply to #9)

Sparrow

Deserve?

Smarter-thanthis...........I am curious why you believe you "deserve" the response you got. No one deserves to be mistreated or disrespected. Did you reach out in malice? If so, then yes, you got your just deserve....... From this point on, do your best not to because you will continue to be hurt and dissappointed. He is a loser.........you deserve better.......always remember that! Smile

#17 Jul 27 - 6AM (Reply to #10)

Smarter-thanthis

Not in malice. Nothing I

Not in malice. Nothing I ever do/did to him involved malice. One coulg argue that it would be healthier to feel malice. I just feel broken.....in every way I can't believe this happened on my birthday.......in front of my friends and coworkers .........if they knew how pathetic I feel they would be shocked

#18 Jul 27 - 4AM (Reply to #3)

Lobo555

I DO believe he was in the

I DO believe he was in the same restaurant on purpose! Triangulation is a favorite tool of the narc. CharlieSheenWinning used to use this all the time -- they want women pining and fighting and being upset over them. What a horse's ass! This just proves what a callous, a-hole he is -- ruining your birthday ON PURPOSE. Hugs to you -- that must have been horrible. I know, I've been there. Thank God you're away from him. He doesn't deserve you or OW or anyone. He's not worth the powder it would take to blow his ass to hell. Boy this makes me ANGRY when they do stuff like this -- can you tell? :) It's awful now, but you've seen what a world-class jackhole he is and now you can go completely NC and focus on getting better. This birthday will prove to be a whole new start -- the beginning of a better, narc-free year. {{hugs again}}

#19 Jul 27 - 5AM (Reply to #4)

Smarter-thanthis

Lobo......you could be write,

Lobo......you could be write, who knows. NOTHING makes sense to me anymore. I woke up today, and my stomach sank........

#20 Jul 27 - 7AM (Reply to #6)

Lobo555

Nothing makes sense because

Nothing makes sense because THEY don't make sense. Hang in there -- it sucks and it's hard. But you are so much better off without him!!!!

#21 Jul 27 - 6AM (Reply to #5)

Hunter

Scrambled Eggs! That's all

Scrambled Eggs! That's all you get! Hunter

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