The N- Cycle

Hey guys my N who discarded me is in a long distance relationship with his girlfriend. Was interesting reading you posts that even long distance they still have the power to make you feel sad! When she moves back soon and is in his space again I hope she realises what he is like. When she moved here to live with him he discarded her and chased me. Now she is leaving, he discarded me and is chasing her. It's sick.

You're right, distance doesn't stop them from being 'them.' I went through long periods of separation from my N as well, and while I think they're better able to hide their nasty side this way, it still comes out. Our relationship was better when we were separated...why? Could be many reason, some I really don't want to think about! But I think it's because you're not living with them day to day...it's easier for them to keep the MASK in place when they only have an occasional performance, so to speak...to do. We'd chat on MSN a lot on the weekends, but more limited during the week. That was more an occasional call, texting, e-mails. Some days, a couple of texts at the most. You have less opportunity to see their BAD side, and since their existence is based on FANTASY, this is a perfect situation from them. Day-to-day life...bills, responsibilities, fixing broken stuff around the house is taken out of the equation. Plus, they can make up any kind of sh** they want about their day to impress you (or impress themselves for that matter). The other side is when we did argue, or if he did pick a fight, it left me feeling even more helpless to try to solve the problem. He'd sometimes just say, "I really should go"..and then click off the screen. It was cruel and cowardly, and left me feeling abandoned...which was his weapon of choice he used against me - he is a serial abandoner! At the times we were physically together, I was relieved in a way...it should have been reassuring that he was "here", and wasn't going anywhere? Right?? Unfortunately, he made sure to always keep that underlying threat of leaving me, present. Ultimately, he did just that, and I finally got completely sick of feeling like a used kleenex, and have vowed to break the crazy cycle and never to take him back.