My first post- this is CRAZY

I have been on this site for over a year. I have read and read and read. My story is very very sad but before I post my story I need advise fast and I have no where to go but here. My therapist told me he was a sociopath before I could finish my first sentence about how I met him. I laughed it off. Sociopaths as I knew it were murders. Long story short I started researching and educating myself and what a blessing I found this site. Here is my problem, I have been seeing him for 3 years. The first 2 in darkness and all the typical feelings of anxiety, depression,highs/lows. Emotional highs,sexual intensity, fun, scary, interesting,exciting, but always with a terrible feeling in my gut saying something is off. I never trusted my gut as he told me I had trust issues and i started looking into why I had trust issues.(what a rollercoaster) Anyways 2 years later the OW who he claimed was his only friend turned out to be his supply for the last 12 years. She has supplied housing,sex, more sex,and sex, food, money and her soul. She has been a secret girlfriend of his and a great source of supply as he has sucked everything out of her and she is HOOKED !! She has absolutly no idea that he is a N. After I found out that he was sleeping with her at his whim, of course at the same time he was with me.( I later found out about a 3rd woman who isn't constant supply but there when he needs her) all of this at the same time I was seeing him and guess what.... none of the women knew about the other. He is that good. The 12 year supply had no idea about me until I confronted her. She went crazy and threaten(a smear campaign)which would be damaging to his business and my life (I am married). I know you all understand this. I was in a vulnerable place.

He claims he has spend the last 10 months calming her down and hoovering her (for sure) in efforts not to damage me and my live. Which would be true but it also served him.

I know he is still with this OW and still calls on me to see him because (you all know the drill) he misses me and wants me in his life.... The last 2 times I have seen him he has told me he is ready to commit to me with so much conviction it is very hard not to believe. He wants to know how I feel about a committed relationship with him. He asked on several occasions that I call his 12 year supply to confirm what he is saying is true, that they are in fact not seeing each other in that way... I found out he has been to her house at least 2 times within the last 2 weeks where he spent the night with her but they did not have sex. Really ? (Is the phone call he wants me to make an attempt to get to the OW with OW ??) thats what it feels like to me. Help !!!

I would love to contact her just so she gets more truth but my first confrontation she totally ignored, believed him and continues to be his supply till today. By the way she told me at that time about 2 other woman he had cheated with before me and she forgave him then too and took him back. He is that good !!!

Fast forward to yesterday, I went to visit him. I cannot tell you all the things he said expressing his love for me and how enjoys me etc. etc The best hoovering ever with so much truth in his expression,convincing with his words and gentle touches. The best hoovering I have ever encountered. TOP NOTCH !!! He is ready to clean his act and move forward to a new life with me with all the cards on the table. We would contact the OW tell her our intentions and that it was officially over for them etc. We would tell mutual friends about our commitment to eachother and start to build a foundation...How about we build a foundation first buddy? Isnt that the way normal people do it. I expressed to him that it was impossible to establish a serious relationship with this kind of foundation. No trust, lies and lies..callous behavior etc. I told him I really didn't know him... how could I commit to a person I don't really know, and besides he has continued to see this OW even after I told him that it was something that hurt me day in and day out. He came back with I am willing to go to a therapist with you so you can understand this. Hello, I do understand this....do you ? He is willing to pay for it so we can get clarity.

It would be a therapist of my choice. I do want to go...it will help me I believe to break free. I would choose a therapist who understands personality disorder, if she is good she will get it in the first 5 min. He will walk away knowing he is has issues and he really missed his opportunity with me (that is my intention for going) I am just worried that he may twist things in the session. What is all of this ??? crazymaking ? I need to break free but I want this therapy session ? Please advise you wonderful people on this board.