My false self

I got so addicted to this guy that I lost the capacity of being happy doing anything that didn't involve him. I lived for being with him and went through anxiety separation when I was not with him.

I was doing things to project an image to him and not to please myself. I went on a trip with my sister to Africa and she pointed out that I was taking photos to show him and not to please ourselves (l love photography). It was so true.

I think that when you are with a Narc, trying to keep the image of perfection that is required to be with such a God, you detach from your feelings and create a false self, as they do. You try to deserve the idealized image they created of you at the beginning, as a means to be loved.

I did a lot of things that I would never do, some of them degrading, in a desperate attempt to keep him interested.

Huge mistake, giving such an ass the power to validate me.

He was so infiltrated in my mind that sometimes my thinking was like I was talking to him.

As I'm writing this, I'm feeling so shocked with my own words. Shit!