My assessment

Spent a good portion of the day reading 'Women Who Love Psychopaths'!

I must admit I was primarily interested in the victims, their characteristics and why each of us stayed sooooo long and endured such a toxic and unhealthy relationship. I got a bit scared half way through the reading thinking OH MY GOD, I am a PSYCHOPATH. Only later after reading more came to the full understanding my view on love, trust, intimacy, has become very damaged, this is what I am left with to untangle and deprogram. I was never made aware of that, I knew I had suffered damage and as good as my counselor was Sandra Brown gave me more clarity on not only the damage that is done to us but WHY we attracted personality disordered individuals.

I never saw myself as an extrovert, although before I met my freak I had worked on breaking out of my shyness, although being shy is also something the psycho works with too. ADHD is something that is apart of my history unfortunately, constantly had to battle with during my childhood, problems focusing in school, I was even on ritalin for a short period of time.

I must admit the hitch for me with my freak was the intrigue of excitement, all of which Sandra explains in the book, there are many traits in my character that are a prime attraction for a con man, which doesn't make me a bad person, stupid, or naive but just more inclined to fall under the spell of a swindler and love thief.

Should I now presume to think I need to change what and who I am so I don't fall victim to people who suffer this deformity? Should I not be giving, trusting, caring, extroverted, easily bored at times? Maybe I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time in that period of my life and was in his path? I was hurting, and broken and I came across 4% of the population that make up these people, how unlucky statistically can one get? I survived 40 some years without this mishap and seem to attract relatively normal, healthy people in my life.

I don't think Sandra Brown in anyway implies it was the victims fault in any sense but only what characteristics in their prey that seems to attract these individuals. I find my attributes and character not detrimental to me personally, in fact for the most part I am thankful I posses many good qualities. The very qualities that disordered individuals hone in on and target, are we more easily seduced, enticed, swindled, conned, and taken for a long ride because we have an endless supply of understanding?

Its sad I can not turn to my dearest friend and in a way that's good because I want to keep her as my dearest friend, so we are forced to seek others who have experienced this, because NOBODY who has never experienced this can understand what a relationship is like with a pathological. Months ago my friend and I drove by his newly erected home she drove of course and I hid under the seat, guess I just had to see this million dollar estate, as we drove away she said she was shaking and never wanted to go near the place again knowing such a deformed person lives there.

I never thought about it like that -- I had been so brainwashed in this man's sick world that it was like a kick in the face how he appears to others that were not under his spell.

Wonder what she would have done if a psychopath entered her life after the intense sexual and emotional bonding? She was never broken, and lost as I was when the man entered my life. I know that now why I fell so hard and why I was under such a deep deep spell.

The book was very good and I am going to read it again I would like to send him a copy, oh look someone wrote a book about you, (just kidding)

I can see why some women would live a life of solitude after going thru something like this, because that is what I have been doing the past year, isolating myself trying to understand what happened to me, and that is a full time exhausting job, IMHO extracting myself from their intense spell and brainwashing is the key to recovery and knowing thyself is the second key.