Is Mr. Big an N?

I stopped watching sad movies years ago - and it's been really helpful for me personally in dealing with depression. Same thing with sad songs (typically about lost love, etc) - I turn the radio to another station instantly. I just stick to upbeat stuff, funny stuff, or stuff that rocks out. Now I thought I was the only one who did this, but I have since known of others who do, too. So maybe we are on to something! Same thing with horror movies. Haven't watched in 20 years. They give me nightmares and make me paranoid. So why bother with that? I used to watch alot of Jerry Springer and Maury Povich, etc etc. Here is my SICK LITTLE SECRET about my (FORMER) fascination with the Jerry Springer Show. I used to watch it, to feel better about MY OWN LIFE. When I think back now, that probably just PROLONGED my own misery, by me justifying, in my mind, that my life wasn't so bad...... because WOW, look at those sick twisted puppies up on the stage pulling each others hair. They were the ones with the REALLY f*cked up lives...... not me!! Wrong. Watching the trashy folks fight it out and name call made me think (at the time) - "See - at least my life isn't THAT bad!". But the truth was, my life was still pretty bad, with the Narcissist ripping out my soul to pieces emotionally day in and day out. We just didn't have any physical violence. Because I had told him up front, I wouldn't allow that. So he just made a mental note of that, and took the emotional abuse route of trying to destroy me. So anyways, I eventually came to the realization that the trashy talk shows with the fighting, name calling, paternity denials, lie detectors and tragic heartbreak are just too much for empathetic people like me, and can trigger depression. Plus, eventually, they can warp your view of life, if you watch too much. Just like staying with a Narc too long can warp your sense of reality. Now I don't watch other people's personal tragedy and suffering if I can help it. I have very strong feelings of empathy/sympathy for other people, and this sad stuff will bring me down and trigger depression for me. For that same reason, I don't really watch the news. I get my news off the internet (where I can select what I want to read about) or from friends and family. And I look up the weather on the internet. Now I only watch comedies, and when I do, I bust a gut laughing my ass off. It's great! There are so many hysterical comedies especially with the actors from Saturday Night Live. Anything with Will Ferrell is usually hysterical. Now, by way of comparison, the Narc would pretty much only watch violent blood crime and murder themed movies with human suffering. He was desensitized, if he ever had any sensitivity to begin with (doubtful). I used to think it was a man thing to watch mostly violent movies, but I was wrong. I now believe it is a personality disorder thing, to watch mostly violent movies. Anyways so my main point here is, if you eliminate the sad and horror movies and trashy talk shows and the nightly news, along with sad songs on the radio, if might be helpful for those of us sensitive folks who have a history of depression. I am able to read the sad stuff on this website because it is a personal journey of knowledge and discovery for me, and I view it as such. It is not presented in a sensationalized or romantisized manner. Its purpose here is to help others learn and avoid pain. And that makes a difference in how I process it here. Just a personal discovery I have made over the last 20 years. Humor is awesome and very helpful, there is no doubt about that! I thank God for Will Ferrell! He is DAMN funny!!

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was that it was one of PSYCHO-BOY's favorite shows!! he LOVED IT!!! That was enough to turn me off... ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

My sense of humor will come back when (I)get checked for the other STDS-which-hopefully i will test negative-but-him giving me HPV kind of put a damper on my laughter : (

Yes! I was just arguing with my friends last week about how I hated Sex and the City now, partially because of Carrie marrying Big. Spoiler: I mean seriously? He humiliates her on her wedding day and she takes him back and marries him on HIS terms because he just couldn't handle a big wedding? Really? Is this something women need to put up with for "love?" I have so many problems with the show and I used to love it. I'm still having trouble seeing the humor in the narcs. I think I'm still too angry to laugh at them. . . Maybe it will happen if I actually do find myself in a real relationship with an actual man that can somehow reaffirm my faith in men. For now, I think I'm turning cold. I am gaining back my sense of humor about other things . . .

i think Kevin Spacey in Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil gave a chilling performance as a Narc/Psychopath..and then of course there is the classic, Mommy Dearest.......... My blog

Yes, Mr. Big is a big ol' N! I've heard that all the characters on Seinfeld are all N's....and indeed the spin off show that Julia Louis-Dreyfus is in is about how her character is a GIGANTIC N. It's so blatant, it's funny. The mother on Two and a Half Men is also a very funny take on an N mom.....and of course Charlie Sheen's character is also a stupendous example of an N. Now that I know what an N sounds like and acts like, I'm noticing how their character traits are used in TV shows and films to depict Narcissism at it's finest. It's SO NICE to be able to laugh at them!! neveragain

Yes, I find the longer NC goes on one can bizarrely see some humour in it all. I mean I still have so much anger that I was treated so badly by someone I did so much for, and invested my emotional energy in. However when I look back at some of the things he said that I now know to be lies it does make me laugh to think he can say such things and really believe them! I mean mine said he was so rich he didn't really need to work (which I did doubt) said his family were multi millionaires and he had grown up flying in private jets etc. That he was always travelling abroad working, that he was due to go to dinner with this famous person, that famous person, he could run ultra marathons... the list goes on. Thing is, I was suspicious of all this early on as it just did not add up - now I just laugh really that he almost believes this. He is so desperate to be big and important it is crazy. I look now and see he is a workaholic. He never meets up with friends, just talks to people on facebook and twitter - even strangers. So even though many people think he is wonderful, I have to tell myself in fact he has no close friends and is really a funny little man, who is getting on now in age (in his 40s) and just really a cartoon character. The ex of my N and I thought of creating a facebook group of all the women he had treated so badly (as he is a facebook addict.) Then we agreed he would actually love that, as it would give him attention!