mparamedic's Story

Hello, this is my story. I have written it in the third person as a way of making him responsible for his own actions even though I have written it. This may seem silly but it is a means of healing for me while taking the blame from me and placing it exactly where it belongs. I am done feeling insecure and beaten down...what you will read here are only some of the things he said and did to me...there is so much to write about but it's all so confusing that I cannot even wrap my head around it...my roller coaster ride is over, I am out of tokens...I pray I won't get on it ever again....

I will shower you with praises, tell you that you are beautiful, tell you that you are most incredible strongest person in the world! I will pour it on so strong that all the red flags you feel will be set aside because I am just
too good to be true and YOU want so much for this to be real.

I take you out for dinner, I flash my wallet full of cash and INSIST on paying for EVERYTHING! I will give you false promises, treat you like a queen, spoil you, dote upon you and act like the Knight in shining armor. I will tell you that I can make things happen for you and baffle you with more lies and bullshit. I will introduce you as my future wife. I will pretend that I am a going concern, going places and have the power to take you with me.

When we are out on dates my cell phone will ring constantly and I will get a lot of texts! Don't you DARE bring it up or you will be made to feel guilty for being so selfish because dammit
don't you know I have a business to run and I am a "single" father!!! How dare you question my behaviour blah blah blah...then I will break up with you for added effect! Cause
I LOVE punishing you!
I start out pretending to be the gentleman not pushing for any kind of sex, as we get closer I will start to give you sex but I will have lots of problems with it. I don't like touching you, I don't
like having sex with you. I prefer to lay back and let you do the work with absolutely NO reciprocation what so ever. I will get you to give me blowjobs then tell you how you drained me roll over and go to sleep. I will NEVER
hold your hand and I will NEVER kiss you. I tell you that you're sexy but my actions show that I am more repulsed than turned on. If you question me on it I will go into a rage and accuse you of being a whore with deep
sexual problems and that you are a psycho.

As soon as I have you hooked with my lies and bullshit I start to change! I start to disappear, I will never be there for you. If you get sick don't expect me to help you out because
you are too needy and selfish! I will not be there for you EVER! I will not help you out when you are down ever but I will go overboard for strangers! I will pretend to feel deeply for their issues and show up for public
talks to prove that I am a hero. If you ever need me or complain about me not being there I will accuse you of being needy and selfish. If I am not there for you at a time of great need like the day when you have to put your
dog of 14 years to sleep due to cancer I will tell you that you chose that day on purpose to mess up my plans.

I will regale you with stories about how some girl who lives near my firehall keeps leaving love notes on my car and how girls at car accidents ask the cops for my number! I rub it in pretty good
so much so that you will become insecure which is exactly what I want because my plan is to FUCK WITH YOU for as long as I can. If you even dare show concern about these women I will fly into a rage screaming at you
as to how you are such a bitch for not trusting or accusing me of being a cheater. Then I will tell you over and over what a great man I am. I will react in a way that shows more guilt than innocence but I will always leave you
wondering what the hell is going on. But you know what...I don't care what people say because I love myself and think I am the best, nicest guy in the world and if there is a problem it is NEVER my fault. Everything bad in
my life is all someone else's fault. Mostly any woman in my life is at fault for everything. My mother was an abusive bitch and my ex wife messed around on me and made me bankrupt. Never mind that fact that I had a
huge cocaine addiction while I was with her..never mind that we lived in the basement of my parents house and she alone took care of our 3 kids while I was out coke-ing up partying and she never went out except to go to work and back.

THE TRUTH IS NEVER IMPORTANT!

I will blame you for everything. I will tell lies about you so I look good and you look bad! I have a plethora of women at my beck and call who I can fall back on if you decide to grow some big girl panties and ditch
me for a change..because by now I have broken up with you more times that can be counted! I will defame you, I will call you evil names like pyscho, whore, slut, liar, user, golddigger, bitch and use private hurts
from your past that you've revealed to me...I will say things like "it's no wonder your ex husband punched you, you are such a bitch"!

I will fake a future with you and your child. I will tell you that I want to live with you and marry you. I will talk and talk and talk about the future. I don't care if I hurt either of you! I will make plans to move into YOUR home but tell you it needs upgrading then I will drag you around for weeks, making calls, setting up people and friends to pour cement, do cabinets and flooring only to suddenly break up with you again when the loan doesn't come through.The reason the loan doesn't go through is because you are maxed out from carrying a loan for my big new truck because I am bankrupt and couldn't borrow a cup of sugar if I needed to. I will blame you for trying to coerce me into a relationship and act psychotic telling you that I am not even done with my marriage even though we've been separated for 5 years and still are not divorced.I will yell at you that I NEVER mentioned marriage EVER! I will tell so many lies that I will constantly contradict myself and tell you that you are crazy if you ever remind me of something I said or promised. I will tell you I love pets then I will complain constantly about them and pretend to have an allergy to them spending hundreds of dollars on allergy medicines. I will use your pets against you every chance I get.

I will break up with you constantly for the slightest of reasons and sometimes no reason at all. I will yell and scream and charge out the front door slamming it then a few hours later send you a text asking if "we are good" as though nothing had ever happened. You will be going crazy! I will never give you a straight answer, I will always deflect your questions, answer a question with a question or tell you that you are hearing things and that you are crazy. You will be devastated wondering what the hell you did wrong more and more often until you feel responsible for everything and start apologizing for my bad behavior.You will blame yourself, which is exactly what I need you to do so I can maintain control over you and you will come back begging which will make it all worth my while!

I will fuck with you forever, I will punish you, degrade you and devastate you until you are suicidal! I will scream and yell and break up with you so often that you can't even function as a normal human being. I will make your hair fall out, you will get unexplained rashes and your stomach will hurt every day! You will never sleep well again.

I have NO empathy, no compassion and no remorse. I don't feel bad about YOU EVER!

When you finally wake up and ditch me..I will stalk you. I will email you and text every day!

I say I love my kids but I ignore them too! I work excessively, I am gone all the time I cannot sit still for any length of time even if it means driving around aimlessly all over the place for no reason with no goal. My kids are forced to call me at night when I am working at my second job begging me to come home I tell them I have to work even though I don't! I am part owner in a family business, I am a professional fire fighter. I hide my assets from my ex and I have
a huge stash of cash that I lie about too! Any problems that my children have are the fault of their mother, who sleeps all day, is a bitch and who I like to call "The cunt" even in front of the children. It doesn't matter that she has a job working with children and is a professional. She is a "cunt".

And now that I am done with YOU...you are the next "cunt".