More info on Hoovering

•Remember that mood swings are a normal part of a number of personality disorders and that what goes up must come down. •Accept that highs and lows are a part of a everyone's emotional life and that, for a personality-disordered person, those may be more intense and lead swings in behavior. •Maintain all your healthy lifestyle habits and relationships with others. •Take the long-term view. Wait a year. •Get yourself off the roller coaster. Position yourself so that your safety and happiness isn't dependent on a personality-disordered person's mood. That's why it is telling you to NOT change YOUR behaviour, we all know they DON'T and WON'T change the way they are, to me this article says this is what they "try" to do, so the year thing is as we all know a bunch of crap , when they come back they Always start to show their true colors after a few days or weeks. We all know they can't be better after a year. this is just to let people know how they operate. I think it also tells us to "take a Year" fo our selves to heal! not give them a year to change , because like you said they don't. And I think all of us here know they can't change.