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Missing a Monster...

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#1 May 7 - 6PM
Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Missing a Monster...

A few weeks ago I felt moved to put my words and feelings on paper. I like to write poetry from time to time but I don't consider myself a poet or anything of the sort. My biggest struggle lately has been missing him but lucky for me I realize that what I am missing is an illusion only masking a monster. I finally have the courage to post this and I hope it reaches out to those who are where I am at right now. Let me know what you think...

Missing a Monster...
Who knew, who knew you’d you capture my heart and take my soul for ransom.
Leave me in the pits of my despair without a glance in my direction.
The light in my eyes has dimmed like the dawn and glow on my face is pale like the death.
The death of my heart from the torment of your ghost.
You gaslight your indiscretions.
Leaving my mind twisted.
The reflection of our love is a tragedy: a wolf in sheep’s clothing while I was a lamb
Victimized and entranced by a figment of my imagination.
Underneath the layers of stolen souls lays a monster... a monster that I am missing

May 10 - 1PM
marlaoryx
marlaoryx's picture

Beautiful

I broke down into tears after reading the first line. This is so perfect, and it's exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you.
May 12 - 7PM (Reply to #17)
It'sAllAboutMeNow (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

This poem...

This poem was written in tears. I was emotionally breaking and the words just came to me. I'm no poet, it's just what I was feeling in the moment. Don't ever forget for one second that they are monsters!!! I'm happy that it helped you. I send you peace and hugs.
May 8 - 10AM
Swan
Swan's picture

wolf

There have been many times that I thought of my Narc as a wolf in sheep's clothing.
May 8 - 1PM (Reply to #12)
It'sAllAboutMeNow (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

They are..

They are wolves yet deep down to root of their souless being, they are nothing more than mere cowards. They are easily intimidated by others but the thrive off of intimidating us to feed their ego. The mind of an N is twisted and sick. I'm just sorry that any of us have had to partake in in the mess that is their lives.
May 9 - 2PM (Reply to #13)
spinning
spinning's picture

ItsAllAboutMeNow, you are right on,

they are cowards. Writing helps. It is weird to realize you "Miss a monster," especially when you know that there is nothing else to miss. Here's a short one I wrote early on...even before the D & D but when I knew something was wrong, that I was believing in an illusion... I wake up and there's your ghost... fastened with fantasies to my brain. You are terminal illness growing in me. You are the medicine. You are the pain. thanks for sharing and prompting me to share. Peace and peace of mind to all who come here. We will get better, stronger, happier and wiser. Most sincerely, spinning (mostly with anger today...these FREAKS should be wiped off the planet.)

spinning

May 12 - 7PM (Reply to #15)
It'sAllAboutMeNow (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Inspired to inspire

You're poem is great. Very deep!!! I'm happy that I could inspire you. I was very unsure of whether I was strong enough to share mine. Thank you for sharing yours. One day at a time and the Spinning will come to a hault but in the mean time we must make ItAllAboutUs!!!!
May 9 - 2PM (Reply to #14)
wacaet
wacaet's picture

wow, spinning, that is a

wow, spinning, that is a powerful poem!
May 8 - 12AM
wacaet
wacaet's picture

that totally resonates with

that totally resonates with me a person shared at an AA meeting the other day "it's ok to build castles in your head, just don't move in to them" I tried to move into my fairy tale castle and turn my N into Prince Charming. It turned into a twisted nightmare instead and, yet, like you....I miss the dream of him but I don't miss the pain, the tears, the self doubt, the constant crying or the damage he did to my life
May 8 - 12AM (Reply to #10)
It'sAllAboutMeNow (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I couldn't agree more...

I couldn't agree more. At this point I realize that missing them is part of the detoxing. At first I would ask myself how is that I could miss a monster. The truth is, it's only natural because we genuinely loved them. The sad part about that is they didn't. Coming to terms with that might be the hardest part.
May 7 - 11PM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Thank you for sharing...

I have found that despite the pain, beauty can still be created through art, music, poetry... They serve as additional outlets of self expression and purging. Hugs!
May 7 - 7PM
Steph
Steph's picture

Thank you for having the

Thank you for having the courage to share:) Beautifully written! xoxo
May 7 - 9PM (Reply to #2)
It'sAllAboutMeNow (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

=)

Thank you!! It wasn't easy.
May 7 - 9PM (Reply to #3)
Steph
Steph's picture

I am sure it wasn't

I am sure it wasn't easy:). You went beyond doing what's "easy" though, by sharing this and that takes tremendous strength and it is most certainly commendable. Good on you for taking this step:) xoxo
May 7 - 9PM (Reply to #4)
HopeAgain
HopeAgain's picture

"Tragedy" is the perfect

"Tragedy" is the perfect word. Yet, they leave so much damage behind and walk away completely unscathed. The tragedy is ours alone.
May 8 - 10AM (Reply to #5)
It'sAllAboutMeNow (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Yes, but

Yes, but the tragedy they experience is being unmasked and we all KNOW how much they hate that. LOL
May 8 - 5PM (Reply to #6)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Unmasking can be COMEDY...

That's how I unmasked the ex-Psych prof. The senior skit parodies the professors, it's a college tradition. I UNMASKED the ex-P as COMEDY... he experienced it as TRAGEDY and went running from the auditorium. I turned it into entertainment. His cowardice was milked for the LOLs. He hated it... everybody else LOVED it... I got the round of applause.. and he got the recap of the grand finale from ME because he MISSED OUT!!!
May 8 - 9PM (Reply to #7)
It'sAllAboutMeNow (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Seems like..

Seems like unmasking them is the only vindication that we get! =(