Manipulation

I thought it would be helpful to others to write about how my N subtly switched and exposed his true self and some problem areas I hit in getting away from him.
The very first sign I had was when we were at a party. I was so happy then to show off my new man who fulfilled all my needs. The music at the event was wonderful and all of us were having a great time. Of course he was the life of the party. He lifted me up and said "Why do all the women I fall in love with get fat?"
My friends just sat there with mouths open and later told me how cruel this was. We talked and he apologized profusely. I thought it was a one time occurrence.
Down the line when his abuse got so bad I finally got him to agree to therapy or he was out, he only used the therapist as primary supply. All of the therapists believed HIM. One even was very abusive to me, telling me he will leave me if I don't stop my jealousy, controlling behavior. I felt defeated as he lied to each therapist and they took his side. We were not in therapy to save our marriage, but for him to continue his sick game.
When I left him the first time I wondered why he didnt beg for me to come back. Well, he was getting plenty of primary supply! From his therapist and female boss!
Not until I learned about his problem and understood it was I able to truly leave. He still wants back in and writes daily emails about his undying love for me..but I'm safer now and never want to return to his craziness.