Making it my fault...

I also have a strong urge to tell my side of the story. He even admitted to me he told his family and his one or two friends nothing even close to the truth. He was not even one bit worried about making up a watered down story to get him off the hook. I was and am still stunned. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't tell the truth in it's entirety. Go figure??

my exhusband went on a smear campaign trying to ruin my character..and i had hurt him, how I was some kinda horrible wife and mother. Never mind I sponsored him here, took care of him and his mom for 7 years, he had affairs and such but nope i was the "bad one"...well guess what..hes married again and the OW has come forward and said he used her for money and sex. The truth will set u free...let him say what he wants..the truth always comes out in the end...

If he were to blame me now, I'd just say yep. My fault I spent 20 years with your crazy ass. I should have left 20 years ago when you were watching aerosmth while screwing your new wife manchild. UHHHGG, I wish I would have kicked him in his prize penis and threw him off me. Young, dumb and stunned. That was me.

I've wanted to defend for 9 long months. Ugh! I took a lot of what he said and didn't respond. I think bc I was also in a fog, didn't know which way was up. By the time I relived the character assassination and accusals, I was long gone and reading about NC and PDs etc. They do blame everybody, and like one poster said, I wonder what is REALLY just manipulation, power plays, and what they REALLY believe. Of course, we'll never know:( I think what your ex said, he may have also been looking for pity, "Oh, poor me...she hurt me too." Oh waaa... It'd most likely just be a waste of breath. They'll never get it. Stay strong, girl. :) xoxoxo

the x tells people that we are great, that we had an amicaable split and are on really great terms. He seems to forget that he was an asshole the last month we were together and he left because his assholeness got out of control and threatened to walk out and I took him up on it. He then went on to have a torid love affair with sobbing and amazing sex and then wanted to come home towhich I told him no but we are great< WTF So really I think its whatever story they latch onto in thier heads and then they roll with it.

how much is manipulation and how much of it they actually believe? i found something my ex had posted online about our marriage and all the facts in it were totally wacky...but he wrote it in this really sincere matter of fact way and can convince himself (and lots of others) that his perspective or memory is correct

I know Red.. However He's not going to balme himself... You get to be the target.. It's all about him. Hunter

Of course he is going to place blame on you.........after all, it couldn't be him. Remember, he is perfect. No need to defend yourself. You know the truth and that is all that matters.

Can sure relate to that one, he even wrote me in a letter it is totally my fault for the breakup of our relationship of 15 years, dumped all his shit on me, once when i wrote him who is the common denominator of your 5 failed relationships. guess what he never answered my question, went ballistic and called me whore cunt, slut, bar floosie, it is such a joke they are so disordered, I always thought I was his lifeline to SANITY, well guess what, I was, he is becoming more delusional than ever, his brain is disintergrating, no joke.they will never look within themselves, ever..........

Mine did this Character Assination and I have an urge to tell people the truth. I reming myself that they will eventually figure it our for themselves. And as long as I know the truth that's all that matters.

I can look back on my ex asshole and *everything* that happened to him was SOMEONE ELSE's fault. At first, because I am using my rose colored glasses, I was like, yeah, those other people are jerks! Then, you start to see. and think, wait, the common denominator is YOU asshole. Some of this is HIS fault. Anyway, fuck him, (sorry, I'm in the super angry phase). The more he jabbers about who's fault it was, the bigger jerk he looks like, and you look awesome and classy for staying above the fray.

You did nothing to cause it, it was there LONG before you came along and will be there LONG after you are gone. The very nature of a PD is to BLAME other's; this is what they do. It is ONLY their fault when they are trying to suck you back in and as soon as you TAKE the BAIT it once again becomes YOUR FAULT as it always was in their minds. People eventually GET THIS the more they engage with the PD because they can see them BLAMING others for ALL of their shortcomings. Let it go, it will all come out in the wash. God bless, Goldie