make it happen's story

Roulette

I Met my narc 6 years ago after my marriage fell apart. I fell for him at first sight. He was everything i'd ever wanted in looks and physique so the attraction was strong for me. The red flags were there from day 1 really. Constant texting, panicking if i didn't answer his calls straight away. He criticized my friends and I lost touch with them and so became isolated. Classic narc tactics!

I had two young children of 6 and 7 and was in a fog at the end of my marriage. The narc got wind that i was going to get a settlement (not particularly substantial,but enough for him to exploit). So the short story is I invested a few thousand pounds in a business that was supposed to carry 'us' into the future. Needless to say after a short while his lazy arse couldn't be bothered and I lost out financially. At one point I also put his car back on the road with insurance, tax & MOT. He recently referred to this as 'that poxy bit of money you gave me'. He didn't work in all the time I was with him. Shame on me for accepting that, although I never lived with him. Now that would have been too much committment from him.

In the last 6 months i have been accused of having sex with the gas engineer who comes to check out the heating system (not true), having sex with men at the gym I attend (again not true) and going on dates with men when I am actually out with my girlfriends. He is severly paranoid.

I have suffered so much stress in the years I have spent with him but in recent times became more assertive which of course signalled the end of the relationship as I am no longer his doormat.

He spent the last five years on a 'special mathematical project' which meant he can now 'predict the spin of a roulette wheel' and this will bring him untold riches. Crazy bastard!

At times i have suffered torrents of verbal abuse and foolishly gave him the fix he wanted by reacting furiously toward him(usually on the telephone) as had i have been in his reach he would definitely have hit me. He punched me once to the ground.

I was good to him, I loved him but I can see he ticks ALL of the boxes for NPD and I never imagined I would go through an experience like I have.

Fortunately he kept his distance from my life with my children.

He would come to my home and tell me every day 'I love you loads' but did ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING FOR ME. not ever.

A couple of weeks before it came to an end he sat in the garden with me enquiring whether i had received an insurance rebate I was due. When I said 'yes' and that i had received it a couple of weeks previously his reaction was silence, complete silence from both of us. I think he was waiting for me to offer him some money. Parasite! I didn't say a word. It was quite funny really as he knew I was wise to him. He cited this as one of the reasons he didn't want to be with me anymore. The good old sense of entitlement was alive and well but just not welcome in my realm any longer.

I am in part time employment.

Consequently I have been in a rented house since my marriage ended with no financial security for my future as I trusted in him and his promises to take care of me.

I feel so abused and don't know that i will ever be able to trust any man ever again.

Thank you for reading. It's good to know you all understand this shared experience and I am so grateful for you all being there. I have spent a lot of time on this site recently. I find it comforting but wish none of us had gone through this.