loving/hating

My apologies if this has been discussed somewhere before, but I'm unable to find an answer....

I've 5 months from discard, have struggled with NC, but am being true to myself and trusting my vibes. I've definitely improved, in large part due to this group (THANK YOU!).

One of the things I've struggled with is focusing on my ex's long list of negative qualities. My problem is that I accepted many of these (at least the ones I was aware of) during our relationship, so it seems disingenuous. It also seems incredibly narcish because that's exactly how she devalued me.

My question: is there anything wrong with not trying to hate her, but instead accepting: we are apart, she hurt me and cannot be trusted because she's a narcissist, thus we can never get back together, but I'm going to be true to myself, recognize my feelings, and love her deeply?

We are on this board because we all care/d deeply about someone who hurt us, probably more than anyone else has. Isn't the ability to love deeply one of our best characteristics? It's what sets us apart; the ability to love someone unconditionally. After all, it's our love and really has nothing to do with them.