Loveless, porn style sex

I've been reading thru many many messages here on this forum (so far I'm back to page 110) and someone back there mentioned "porn style sex."

Fortunately my experience with an N was relatively short lived, and we were only intimate twice, but what an eye opener!

The guy is very much a somatic N, and in my opinion is addicted to sex..not just to get off but it's like his entire emotional world is bound up in it..chasing new women, being around women, talking about women, I've never met a man so wound up with women..I have to admit, he was a GREAT kisser, and very attractive..well, you know how it goes.

But the sex. At first glance..passionate, fun...intense. Yes, all of those things. Then, I took another look, and the interesting thing was...this was different from all my other experiences in the past.

There was no affection. It was very masturbatory. He knew exactly what he wanted me to do, how to do it, and directed me to do so. He used crude terms like "pussy" and "tits" when referring to body parts, which I found cold and off putting. He used lines that sounded right out of a porn flick, like he had learned them from watching porn.

He also (and this is the subject of my other thread) talked about other women during this, how someone was too slow, how I was "slow but persistent"..gee, thanks. Slow..huh. Well, so much for trying to be sensual. If you don't grab that dick within 15 seconds you go on the bad list!!

Also very interesting is how he goofed on one woman he was with who was sort of offended by him saying "thanks for the fuck" to her afterwards..she was annoyed he didn't consider it "making love." Carefully listening to his tone of voice, it became evident to me he couldn't possibly equate sex and love. He seemed to think it was a joke, a laugh.

He also seemed to take some sort of delight in pissing women off. Shocking them, or hurting them, seeing them be offended by being cold or crude..I couldn't quite figure it out. I guess some men like drama too, stirring things up. Do these guys actually hate women? Do they resent having sex with them? It's all so odd..being so disdainful of something you constantly chase.

At the end of our session, he promptly drifted off to sleep. I tried to snuggle up to him for a moment and he said "I need some elbow room." So I scooted away from him.

At that moment I made up my mind I would never enter his bed again, and I never did. I barely slept that night, wishing I was home safe in my own bed with my dogs curled around me. I should have left. The feeling screamed at me all night. "YOU DON'T BELONG HERE."

I never discussed any of this with him..what was the use.

God, I read thru all this and just want to hang my head with shame thinking I actually was excited about him and ENDURED all those stupid stories about other women. Yuck!

Any insight, opinions are welcome and again, thank you..you guys are great!