Lost my strength

I feel like I've lost my will to fight. I have been in non stop fight or flight for 2 years now. I have no contact with my snp-x , but what happened with him really weighed hard on me. something i never mentioned here is that During the abuse I also started a lawsuit. It's too complicated to get into but it involves him indirectly. Half way through it and I became overwhelmed. I think it was the situation with the n girl at work triggered me. I'm tired of fighting devils. This company I'm fighting is known for its evilness and psychopathic anti humanity cruelty and here I am fighting them minus a lawyer.. On my own. I'm tired, how do I find strength, not to mention this is all happening while battling codependancy and PTSD. My boss has called 3x with work for me and I told him I want to rest. I feel like I'm giving up on everything. It's just too much for 1 person..everyone tells me they don't know how I'm coping as I am.. And truthfully neither do I. do some people just never go insane.? I should have gone over the edge long ago. How do I find the fight in me again?