List of flaws

Hello, thank you all again for welcoming me back. I would love to get some of this crap off my chest into one place and perhaps thought we could talk about similarities between narcs.

-silent treatment

-witheld affection and sex after a while til I had to nag for it

-would do things that he knew would piss me off (fart, yes disgusting but it got to me so bad he just kept making a point of doing gross shit)

-would slip little non-chalant comments in and say he's just joking (look at that, she has a ring and is married. She must be a great girl)

-would sit there and pick on me (your arms are flabby, would squeeze my thighs and laugh, would tell me my ears look like elf ears....I would get upset and he'd say ohhh but I love it and hug me)

-Stopped saying I love you after a while unless he would see I was really angry about something. Same with hugs I wouldn't get a decent hug unless he was kissing my ass to get me to calm down and forget whatever pissed me off

-complained he spent money on me to everyone when all we ever did was go out to eat and we would always take turns paying

-told me that at least he owns his house (bc I rent mine)

-would tell me how hot some of my friends are and would make comments about their breasts or whatever

-would blatantly check out other women in front of me to the point of ogling them

-was on facebook and thanked all his family and friends for coming to his surprise party and how he loved them. I was the asshole who threw the party but he ignored me the whole time and didnt mention me on there at all

-he would ignore me when around family. He would sit there and it was always almost me conversing with them while he sat quiet and portrayed himself as almost pissed off but more like ignoring me.

-I went to kiss him in public once and he put his hand up to my face and pushed me away

-would start talking about his work day, would start asking how was your day.... oh nevermind you're boring

-told me I was the one and asked if I would marry him while I was half asleep. Mind you, he whispered it to me so I could barely hear it. Still have yet to figure out what the hell that was about. Since then I have hung onto the idea that I really am the one and that he wants to spend his life with me.... This is the lie that hurts the most. That I believed it and took in the little crumbs that he gave surrounding the information I took in...

-just realized the other day that everytime we were on the phone he monopolized the conversation. was always about him and his work and what he is going to do to make his car faster

-I found an old blog from his ex gf. It was exactly the same thing I went through. She kept going back after he denied her existence to his friends, after she found out he had another girl, after she cried she supposedly talked to him and he made it better after they talked and she was happy

-He met many women through online dating (I do better investigation than the FBI when it came to this rollercoaster)

-I was his backup a longg time and took it. I sat there and took him back after spending valentines day with him and he was texting another girl (his crush) in bed next to me after we just had sex

-He told me he loved me for the first time and took another woman out to dinner and got her flowers and a card for her birthday

-He wanted to have sex with me while I was wearing my wedding dress (I was never married to N. He wanted me to wear MY wedding dress from my old wedding)

-He would call me bitch and whore once in a while in bed

-He started attending church and lied about why he was going. Found out he was going bc he was trying to meet girls that way

-He hid my things at his place once while he had a female friend come over to go hot tubbing. He tried and at this point I know she told him she wasnt interested in him. (I can imagine how creepy he gets when this question comes up to women)

-As soon as he saw that a girl wouldn't give him supply or wasn't interested in him or got engaged he would delete her off of facebook

-all his exes were "friends"

-he got back in contact with an ex that just had a child and he went out and spent a 100 dollars on this baby and was going to drive two hours just to see her and deliver it. Knowing that this girl had a boyfriend. That's a little twisted.

-told me the other day when I asked him if we are back together that no, not yet bc I haven't seen you yet in person since a week has passed (we were on break) another line of bullshit I believed after he screwed me over the last time on NYE.

This is enough bs to list for now. I cannot believe that I remembered some of this stuff that has escaped my memory over time bc I kept forgiving and kept forgiving and pleasing and living this damn nightmare.

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