lesd's story

I've been married to my N husband for almost 10 years now. I just recently started a home business and I know what it takes to be succesful in it. But my husband has mentally and physically drained me lately with his constant badgering/complaining/lecturing, etc. I'm on the 3rd day of this badgering session, and I literally feel like I've got the flu even though I don't. I can barely move physically.

I also feel like I'm not very attractive to customers or potential business partners even though I put on a happy face when doing business interactions. Other business partners are doing great, and I'm falling flat. I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do according to the business model with minimal results.

Is it possible that I'm not attractive to potential customers because my aura is so drained of positive energy? Is it possible to be successful while still married to an N?

I know that most of you will tell me to leave, and that is just not possible right now. Trust me, I understand the game, and I don't take anything he says personally. I just don't care what he thinks about me anymore. If my self esteem was dependent on what he thought of me I would of offed myself years ago. Even though I don't care what he thinks, the badgering and berating is still very draining. The hour long daily lectures are driving me insane. It literally is mental torture.

I have some things to do before I can leave for good, but in the meantime, is there a way to be successful and be attractive to customers? Financial success is going to be important for my exit. Thank you for your advice and assistance with this. It is appreciated.