At last

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#1 Aug 6 - 12AM
enoughalready
enoughalready's picture

At last

One of my XN's friends came up to me while I was working out @the gym to say he was glad to see me cause he wanted to tell me a few things about my XN. And said that I was too good for him and he was never deserved of me. My XN had been dating a stripper for a year now, I've been NC for 6 months. And how many times he has been with other women while seeing me at the same time. I had strong suspicions for 2 yrs as he had treated so terribly. And the panties he "thought" were mine...were actually his stripper gf's panties. I asked my XN's friend why couldn't tell me this a year ago-and he said, we were never alone and I didn't have your cell number. He also told me XN had recently moved into an apt w/ his stripper gf but was kicked out after 3 days. My XN txted me a few weeks ago he wanted to take me out for coffee cause he was "moving" at the end of July and wanted to see me before he left! Funny-when he txted that, I thought-moving in w/ a new gf? And my suspicions, my gut instincts, knowing all he ever was....was a lie and I was RIGHT this entire time! When he told me all of this, I felt absolutely nothing but I felt relieved...at last. I'm so happy I've been NC since Jan and he's out of mu life forever. So ladies....believe in yourself, follow your gut instincts, and be strong @ NC.

Aug 6 - 10PM
loveofmylife
loveofmylife's picture

Great news!

It is so great to hear something like this to validate that your decision and your intuitions were correct! What a great piece of news to help you move forward even faster away from this loser that even a stripper had to throw out!
Aug 6 - 10AM
betty2020
betty2020's picture

Its so awesome that you felt

Its so awesome that you felt nothing after receiving news of him. In hindsight i would recommend that when you are approached by ppl that know your exN that you do not engage in conversation. I know this is tough but anyone or anything that you come into contact with regards to the N can set a trigger. You may not expect it and it could come later down the road for you based on just this one contact. Its dangerous to you honey. Best to let it go. Tell them thank you but your not interested and remove yourself from the scene immediately. Im so proud of you and i can see how strong you are becoming now.....xoxoxo only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

Aug 6 - 10AM
betty2020
betty2020's picture

Its so awesome that you felt

Its so awesome that you felt nothing after receiving news of him. In hindsight i would recommend that when you are approached by ppl that know your exN that you do not engage in conversation. I know this is tough but anyone or anything that you come into contact with regards to the N can set a trigger. You may not expect it and it could come later down the road for you based on just this one contact. Its dangerous to you honey. Best to let it go. Tell them thank you but your not interested and remove yourself from the scene immediately. Im so proud of you and i can see how strong you are becoming now.....xoxoxo only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

Aug 7 - 12PM (Reply to #8)
enoughalready
enoughalready's picture

Thanks....

It was quite validating but Betty2020 is right as it had set me back a few knots. I found myself thinking back of all the "words" he use to say to me now knowing he was w/ his stripper gf all along. What a a true narcissitic psychopathic liar! And the friend who told me this now hates XN as he was defriended and kicked out of a gym because his stripper gf said he was hitting on her. My XN has made so many enemies and I truly hope the worse for him.... 5 years of all lies!!
Aug 6 - 5PM (Reply to #5)
RandomGal
RandomGal's picture

Well done enoughalready for

Well done enoughalready for trusting your gut instincts and for not feeling anything, your life is a much better place without him. Betty is absolutley right too I wish I had had her advice this morning when I ran into a mutual friend of ExN who told me he was having a huge birthday party on sunday and loads of people are going etc etc. I came away really low and lonely. I was going to text him (I am 6 days NC) but came on this site and you all made me feel so much better, I didn't. Definatley only one way to go X
Aug 7 - 2PM (Reply to #7)
almostlydia
almostlydia's picture

Good for you - don't do it.

Good for you - don't do it. I felt the same way when a friend told me that my exN's clients were having a big 50 bday party for him but she wasn't going. Then she told me that the woman throwing the party had collected money from all the other clients to have it - meaning it was not a volunteer effort but something they were guilted into doing, and I don't doubt he manipulated the whole thing. I'm so glad I wasn't there to see him make a total ass out of himself being the Center of the Universe. Not to mention he was dressed ridiculously gay at the last party we went to. Total YUCK. Stay the course.

almostlydia

Aug 6 - 11PM (Reply to #6)
betty2020
betty2020's picture

Dont do it girl. It will

Dont do it girl. It will pass. Just keep your distance and stay with us.. xooxoxox only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

Aug 6 - 9AM
Amy
Amy's picture

Congrats

The longer you go NC, the more you can disconnect! And what is with the strippers???? Mine had a stripper fetish, paid for VIP room access, etc.
Aug 6 - 8AM
wholeagain
wholeagain's picture

Such great validation

for your intuitions! Congratulations on NC, sounds like you're well on your way. Always helps when someone tells you it wasn't just you, you weren't going crazy, and indeed those weren't your panties!
Aug 6 - 10AM (Reply to #2)
almostlydia
almostlydia's picture

I know Betty is absolutely

I know Betty is absolutely right about possible repercussions, I've experienced some of that myself but I have to say that the day someone tells me that his secret life and all his lies have been exposed is the day I'll be getting the champagne out.

almostlydia