Ladies, please read this

Christie Brinkley is how I discovered narcissism... it was last fall and my ex-narc who I hadn't talked to in over a year was continuing to bash me on the internet. I could not make any sense of his behavior. She was on some talk show and said something like "google divorcing a narcissist and you'll understand what I am going through." So I did :)

Shaynas Mommy that was a beautiful post, and glad to see someone like Christy Brinkly is bringing Narc out in the light for the abusive and denegrating control monsters that they are. It is not funny, she deals with it very gracefully as she states of healing and perspective "it doesn't happen overnight" We exect recovery to be immediate. We want answers. We want results. We want to put them into a tidy neat box. Perspective, and more beautiful heeled reality comes with time. They are so destructive, yet so difficult to pull away from. Very difficult, only those who have been through it truly know. Stay away from them.. In confidence. Total confidence. Stay away from them. The Narc lives to destroy others. So contrary to the "feelings" we "felt" dreamt and imagined when we were with them. It was all their masquarade. Not real. Not good. Not genuine. It felt all that, was not. Don't be fooled by the trap. They are robbers. Con men, of a crimanal degree. Thank God you saw the light. You are meant to see the light. Free yourself from their grip, and know you are almighty. Thank you for the post.

Reading this reinforced what I was thinking about this morning. When does what has happened to all of us get a NAME? When does what we are all going thru become a 'household word' like 'battered wife syndrome'. So maybe that's not a household word but we certainly recognize it now. When do the courts, the judges, the lawyers, the police, and the general public all know about this 'emotional rape' before they have to come to sites like this after the fact, when it's a matter of surviving the abuse rather than recognizing it and learning how to avoid it? I read somewhere that there are so many of these disordered people that the odds are that everyone will run into one everyday. I also read that the courts, judges and lawyers, per se, are beginning to get some idea that these are the idiots that tie up the system for years with their petty accusations and lies and are starting to see the light. But even Christy Brinkley's lawyer used Sam Vaknin as her source of info, and we know how dangerous that can be. Anyway, I'm just wondering when this epidemic of emotional rape gets a name people begin to understand (somewhat) and recognize. almostlydia

"The reason for this is because it is easier to go back to the original source of pleasure than it is to train the new victim." This struck a nerve with me in this article, particularly the word, PLEASURE. Source of pleasure. My X said to me one day a couple of months into the relationship: "I know that you love me so much that you will let me do whatever I want" I remember thinking: What the hell does that mean? This was before the coming attractions. Once I could see that he was getting his rocks off by his apparent control over me. I was all done and of course that is when the real fun began as he would not leave. He pulled out all the stops. Bad childhood, I was the love of his life, he wanted to get married. He was going to stop drugs, alcohol, the violence and the hitting, he was suddently molested as a child, he would become a better lover, more generous gift giver, help more around the house. YA RIGHT. When none of that fazed me. The big time D&D began. Now I was old, ugly, fat, stupid, psycho, crazy, unattractive in bed, a bad mother, a bad friend, old was his favorite, my dreams would never come true, oh boy oh boy. When none of that worked, he went into a severe depression and just sat around most of the day, until the police escorted him out once and for all. I can see where he required the sick relationship in order to thrive to feel alive and when I stopped playing the game, he simply became almost incapacitated and unable to function. He needs a crazy woman in order to feel normal. This is why when we are either not sick enough for them or we stop playing the game they appear to get even worse. They cannot stand a detatched disinterested playmate. This helps with my jealousy about the OW, cuz I get it now, the reason that they move on is because we are not SICK ENOUGH for them. We take all the fun out of it for them when we stop giving a shit or responding, and of course they are going to find someone new because they cannot function properly without supply, that mirror image of how great they are until they turn on you again and the beat goes on. Sick huh? God bless, Goldie