To keep in mind if you ever take him back....

why does she want to come over at 5am on a Sunday morning? Why does she demand me to come service her at 1am in the morning? Why am I being treated like a prostitute? Why will she not take me on dates or traveling? Why does she refuse to acknowledge our relationship in any way? Why does she plan vacation after vacation only to cancel every time? Why does she want me to see other people? Why does she want to see other people? Why does she act like she doesn't even know me when she is with her friends or in other public places? Why does she make eyes and flirt with other women right in front of me? Why does she never want to celebrate any national or religious holidays with me? Why did she never want to meet or socialize with any of my friends or relatives? Why when I asked for a picture of her she did not ask to have one of me? Why does she never let me pick the movie, the restaruant, the play, the wine or anything else??????? Last but not least, why would she disavow even KNOWING ME by unfriending me on Facebook???? oh oh oh (raising hand in the air) one more!! Why isn't she responding to the texts, calls, or e-mails I sent her?

Sofia Behrs was married to a major Narc, Leo Tolstoy, for 48 years. This shows the results. The movie glosses over some of Leo's NPD, but there are enough hints&glimmers of it. The endless drama. The battle to the end. The betrayal. Sofia's attempted suicide (she attempted it several times throughout the marriage&contemplated it on her honeymoon) "The Last Station" shows what happens over 48 years of marriage to a Narc... it's not beautiful. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtQ_wKGceLg

Awesome list- I need to add to this too :) Why can't I sleep? Maybe if I looked better/dressed better/ talked better he would be nicer to me. What have I done wrong this time? I must be a really BAD person for him to treat me like this. Why does he just go cold on me all the time? I'd like to have sex but I think I'll just go to sleep frustrated rather than face rejection AGAIN why Is he lying to me? Why do I have that feeling deep in my stomach that something Is badly wrong? Where Is all the money gone? Why do I feel like a piece of meat all the time? Why do I keep doubting myself? Why am I not interested in my hobbies/friends/job anymore? Why do I feel like I have no personality anymore? Why am I having a big run of bad luck? Why do I keep making bad decisions? Why don't I like who I am anymore? Actually- I don't know who I am anymore. Thanks for reminding me of all the thoughts I used to have when I was with EXN. Never going back - no way, no how- life WAS SHIT!

hi Better than Ever - nice to read your great list thank you.

I could have written this list and will add a few more... Will he cancel plans to go with me last minute leaving me to attend by myself? Will he withdraw his affection cause I looked at him the 'wrong' way or offended him somehow? Will I be WAITING again for him to call, arrive or make up his mind? Will he be sullen, emotionally distant and silent with me today? If I initiate sex will I be rejected again? Will he think I want sex because I'm wearing something that might be too sexy... should I go change so HE'LL be the one to initiate it if I don't look like I want him to? Will he leave in the middle of the night again while I sleep because we had a disagreement or I stood up for myself? Will he withdraw and need a 'break' from our relationship when the weather gets sunny and warm like he did both summers we were together? Does he only 'need space' when there is potential new supply in his radar since he monopolizes my time so much normally? What isn't he telling me? What does he really mean when he says that? If I mention how I feel or what I want, will he discount my feelings and tell me how I 'should' feel or 'should' want? If I express disappointment, will I be accused of expecting too much or never being satisfied? If I talk to another guy will he accuse me of flirting or trying to make him jealous? If he gives flirty attention to another woman, will I be accused of being too insecure if it bothers me? If I want to do something nice I think would please him, will I be accused of trying to control or manipulate him? Oh, there are many more... I am so glad these questions are not running through my head anymore, nor the anxiety that accompanies them!! Journey on...

when I miss and long for my N. which still happens- I immediately say to myself " do you want to be an old woman- anxious, often alone, jealous, insecure and heart sick?" what kind of life is this???? a Terrible One. I yearn for a completely different partnership- of love, respect, joy, acceptance, allowance, tenderness... all these things - HE CANNOT GIVE ME. So good riddance, disordered one...You lost out on a beautiful woman.

Who wants to be in a relationship where they are always wondering??? I did that for 7 years now and was never able to confront him or question him on his lack of emotions or feelings,,or where I actually stood with him this time around,,, because if I did,,,,,usually no response or a RAGE. My future with him would be very hard and draining,,,, We only go thru this life once,,,,there are no rehearsals!!! HUGS

Good list to keep. How could a human being have so many thoughts going on in ones mind and not be stressed. Now wonder we go crazy. Hope you are doing well.