Karma ??

No apology he could give would mean anything to me. I don't WANT his apologies, mercy, remorse, or him missing me... I don't want anything from him, ever. His thoughts mean nothing to me. I will never let him have any power over me again, and needing anything from him, including an apology, gives him that power. F**k him and the horse he rode in on. I need to find the article called Reject the Rejecter.

I feel the same way. It would bring me joy and satisfaction to know someone is doing the same thing to him. But-i truly believe he's suffering anyway. He is empty and has no feelingd either way. I was only an oject for him to use. I left when I felt the strength to leave him- I'm sure he's been out searching for more objects to use. The only reprieve I get is that NC is no longer feeding his ego, he is a miserable carcass looking to get filled -a soul-less creature. We are fortunate enough to know better, to improve our self-worth again, and enrich our souls with deep love and real passion. Narcs will never live life and appreciate what it's like to truly love and feel love as we all have and will forever. Narcs will never truly be happy for they know nothing of love.

me too....me too....even though i knew what he was...i so wanted to hear SOMETHING....just a hint of remorse or regret...an apology...and admission of guilt...or even a kind word......but it never came.. i took him to the hospital when he was dying...and sat there...even after seventten years of waiting....thinking...this is it....surely...surely...... he had completely destroyed my life...murdered my dog i loved more than anything in the world....destroyed my business..caused me to lose my home...driven me into poveryt and tried to murder me.....but i extended him that last kindness.....hoping...hoping for one kind word..... i was already exhausted...hating every moment of every day of my life...drained dry...unable to recover from what he did to me....so there i sat by his hospital bed....and finally out of exhaustion i laid my head on the rail and began to sob...racking sobs....and he was laying there...with his hand not three inches from me....and he never reached out to touch me...he never said a word....and when i finally looked up..i could see he was staring at the tv...not even blinking.... and i knew..beyond any hope...that my pain my heartache my misery had never meant anything to him at all....and never would...that he had no remorse...no regret...nothing.....two day before he died..the last time i saw him or spoke to hime when he was lucid..as i was walking out of his room...i gave it one more try....'mike..life is short..shorter than you know..do you have anything to say to me...anything at all?'....and he looked straight ahead...wouldn't even look at me....and said...'not at this time....no'....... not at this time....and not at any time...... as for Karma....it finally caught up with him...and now he's dead....but it has done nothing to release me.... in fact, seeing him laying there dying...without a tinge of remorse or regret has done something to me i can't explain...even though i knew he was a monster...even knowing it...and hating him for all the things he's done....watching him die without any introspection....and apologies...anything......has twisted the knife that i've been carrying around in my heart for 17 years..... maybe he could have pulled that knife out with a few kind words....a sincere apology...a plea for forgiveness...but he chose to leave it there in my heart forever........

I totally understand what you are feeling, we have all been there or still are. This is the hardest part of it all, finding out for sure that we never mattered and were always 100% replaceable with anyone or anything else on the planet that caught their eye. As far as karma, I don't believe any one of us here is a vengeful person, except when it comes to the N. We all want to see them get theirs. We want to see them in pain, we want to see them hurt. It would be icing on the cake if we could be the ones inflicting that pain. However, a lot of what caused us pain was having emotions. N's have no emotions or feelings except hate and anger. So their karma would have to be something that hits them where it hurts. Like mine would be everyone telling him he looks old since he's obsessed with youth. And if I ever run into mine anywhere I will be sure to tell him that he's not aging so well. One that I think would affect most of them would be everyone realizing what users they are and abandoning them so they are alone. Will they get this karma? We don't know. And if we're lucky and move on with our lives and lose all contact and concern for the N we will not know. So we continue to focus on ourselves, our families and our friends. I am hoping for good things for all of us here, and all victims of N/S/P's.

god sounds like me. i waited for the apology sadly i think it will never come. i would have even liked lip service to acknowledge im alive. i think what comes around goes around but not in the way we think. he may not necessarily hurt tomorrow but down the line you will see... i certainly hope he gets his. he is robbed me of 12 years.