Just for fun...

You know how they lack empathy, which is normally required for sensitive gift-giving? The "birthday" post about the towel rack got me thinking of this...

What was the WORST gift ever from your N(s)?

MsVulcan500's picture

I never got good gifts. If one turned out to be something I liked, it was purely by accident! He would go into Macy's and find gift sets while he was probably buying himself something nice. I got many tubes and bottles of creams and lotions that were all marked "not for individual sale". He would buy these sets and split them up between me, his mom, his daughter, and his sister-in-law. But the best was Valentine's Day 2008 when I got him a necklace that was made in the place where his dad grew up. I searched online for a long time for what I thought was a really thoughful gift. And he gave me a box that you can put photos in. It's even glorified cardboard! He still wears (I'm assuming at this point) the necklace, and I use the box to hold all of the crappy gifts he gave me.
time_to_move_on's picture

I forgot about the trips. It would always be, "we should go away together, we don't spend enough time together". At the time, I was unemployed, little money (still am, hopefully not long) and I was looking after my terminally ill mother. So not a great time to go. I'd end up thinking "well, sure I can stretch to it". I'd suggest it and usually we'd end up having some row/he'd look at me as if I was something he'd just wiped off his shoe and say he couldn't possibly afford it/or we he didn't think it was a good idea at the moment as we were so rocky. Another one specialised in this too.
destiny's picture

A few weeks before Christmas we broke up and XN kept saying if I was nice to him...blah blah blah we would be back together...he loved me and missed me but couldnt take the fighting(same old line) Anyway, so he told me he found this great gift and when he saw it he thought it was perfect for me. I should have known after getting a generic christmas card signed Luv Ya. not to expect too much. So, on Xmas eve the mail was late...i was getting ready for a holiday dinner at my brothers new home. I get the package and new right away it was a calendar. The Calendar was a 'bad cat' calendar. I threw it down. He hated my cat...and considered her to be evil... so this was not a thoughtful gift and certainly not one that someone that wanted to get back together with me would send. I sent him an email thanking him(but that wasnt good enough for XN) he called me a few times that nite...and I just didnt bother answering(i mean really who sends a gift like that) grrrrrr He later accused me of going on a date Xmas eve. I dont know how I made it thru all of that (later to find out he had a married OW that didnt last very long around Xmas) explained A lot. The funny thing is on Christmas day I open a gift from my brother's gf...and it is the SAME calendar only the boxed version of it. Can you even imagine...so it brought back the hurt all over again....ughhhh!! funny, when XN and I got back together he never even looked for the calendar in my home (i think he probably forgot he even sent it) Dead flowers for my Birthday was also one of the worst gifts. Holy water in the mail too. A big button magnet form blue mountain cards that said how special i was to him (he sent the SAME magnet to the OW) he would randomly burn movies he downloaded and send them off to me in the mail too. And after reconciling and me trying to forgive his OW...he gave me this rock and on it it said ' upset is optional' yea it is optional alright... “It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.”
time_to_move_on's picture

Mine, when we were first together used to do a big show and dance about getting me stuff. At christmas he got me loads of bits, but I think it was actually from money he'd got from his ex-gfs mother to supposedly pay his rent (he didn't, and became homeless). But he didn't get me anything I would really want, it was all in his image of what he'd like me to be. And this was the early stages... ALL the pathologicals I've been out with have been okay to start with (yes, I've managed a possible 4), then after about a year have either bought me nothing and/or looked at me if I'm mad if I dare to question the fact that they can't even be bothered to wish me happy birthday. And whenever the last ex and me had a bad row (these were the ones where he was shoving me, threatening to kill), he'd make a big song and dance of getting me jewellery. It was always really cheap and tacky, and again, not me. For his birthday I felt so guilty as he was "so generous" so I then spent a fortune on getting him a nice digital camera. He was always taking pictures and had uploaded literally a 1000+ of himself onto my mac (still clearing them off now), so I knew the narc would love it. The week before we split he got me another tacky jewellery heart to go with the others, then took it back as I didn't appreciate it! My mother hated him. And told her friend he kept buying me cheap trinkets, and I'd got him this camera and shouldn't have done. Arrgh. I wish I could get it back and stamp all over it.
Marie's picture

It wasn't the lack of expensive gifts that bothered me. It was always the big build up of wait until you see what I have planned for you followed by the let down of nothing at all. He would start two weeks before and just go on and on about it. Saying how surprised I'd be and see what a romantic boyfriend I had blah blah blah. My first birthday he got me chocolate covered strawberries from the place that makes them the way I like. Another time he bought them as a surprise from this other place not so good when they are fresh but he kept them for three days so they were rancid. He acted all disappointed and apologized for not giving them to me sooner. Jerk! I've posted this story before but will again to show how romantic he wasn't. My last birthday before the final D&D he kept talking about going away together. He had bought me a few things I mentioned that I'd like for my birthday but said he had to wrap them. The beginning of the week of my birthday I get this call from him saying that plans had to change because he decided to get his floors varnished that week. He left the key for me and asked if I could lock up when the guy finished. He would be away the week because he didn't want to breath the fumes. His last words were by the way I left your birthday gifts on the chair in the kitchen. They were in a brown paper bag not even wrapped. How romantic. Not!
josh56's picture

Every Christmas I would wait to see if he could excel himself with the utter rubbish he gave me! Last year I asked for some Dior mascara - what did I end up with? Some nail varnish which wouldn't do my eyelashes any good. The worst present I got was a yellow plastic sea-horse which was a radio for the shower.I asked my N to leave 4 weeks ago - he's had a new girlfriend for the last 4 months. If she is expecting something stunning for Christmas - which she will be being a money grabbing cow - then she's with the wrong man!!! He's no money this time round so she'll end up with crap! Lucky, lucky her - and he text me over the week-end so wonder what's wrong now??????????????????
Echo78's picture

Well, Narc sent me something that already belonged to me for my birthday one year. haha He lives in another city (thank goodness), and the last time I spent a weekend with him, I left some jewelry at his house. He kept saying he was going to drop it in the mail but never did. A couple months later, the D&D began and when it became clear that we weren't going to be seeing each other again, I asked that he please go ahead & send the jewelry to me. Well, you know how Narcs are when they have something we want. Finally, 5 months later, I get a package with "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!" written on the box. Yep, my jewelry.
cynthia's picture

I never got a gift, of course I didnt live with him either, I guess he considered himself a gift to me, ha ha ha
Monica's picture

Because I sort of figured your answer would be the same as mine. NADA. Nothing. Zippo. The Big Zero. (Oh my, we were with such LOSERS, weren't we?!?!) So I gave myself a gift since he never would...I dumped his sorry ass! HA! Best gift I ever received.
Sinead's picture

I didn't get gifts, I was given some when I married probably "to seal the deal" lol, after that nothing was given, we don't celebrate birthdays, only Eid but he dragged me away from meeting with families and exchanging gifts at those times saying it was a waste of time, money and effort and we were busy people who had no time for "old traditions", much like my NDad who stopped Christmas when we were kids. So he made himself no obligation to give me any gift, even my daughter had nothing whilst he was around, I had to make the celebrations myself, alone in the house with her and wrap things in newspaper just to try and get her to get an idea of gifts. Now on the other hand, we follow "old traditions" and travel to meet other families and children, exchange gifts, have fun and stick virtual fingers up at him lol.
Barbara's picture

http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/05/29/gifts http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/08/26/bad-gifts
itreallyisabouthim's picture

Ah - seems this has been a topic before. My favorite was a very nice digital camera that I got one Christmas. The only problem was that it had been HIS digital camera. He wrapped it and gave it to me when he bought himself the newer model.
fairy wings's picture

The first Christmas I got a very inexpensive gift that was fine for me, however when his daughter smiled he admitted he hadn't got it himself. For the next five years I got nothing on birthdays or at Christmas which wouldn't have been so bad if no one had got gifts from him, but while I got nothing his two grown up daughters got a £100 gift each. It gets worse, he was out of work for three of the five years I was with him, so I would be paying his bills which I never mentioned to his family, then he'd buy them gifts while I was struggling to find money for gifts for my children (I didn't live with him). It may sound like I'm an idiot, however the truth is after we had known each other a year, during which time he had worked, he had an accident and broke his leg, so I naturally helped out. Only three years down the line did I realise he would forever not work if he could get away with it, but all of this pales in to insignificance compared to this: It was my birthday and all year I had let him know how disappointed I had been the year before to not even get a card, particularly as he went in the card shop each day for cigarettes! So I was excited, I reasoned he wouldn't let me down again! On this day he excelled himself! He had a hospital appointment that on his calendar said 14:30. At 12:00 we set off for town with his seventeen year old daughter with us. I kept thinking that as he hadn't given me my card yet, and that we were early for the appointment that maybe she was in on my surprise. I asked him where we were going as his appointment wasn't at this time. He just smiled. We ended up at a furniture mill where we had been the previous week and I had liked a mirror. I thought maybe this was why we were here. We looked around really slowly looking at settees and even the mirror I had liked, eventually he bought himself a leather chair (on my birthday) and they agreed to deliver it the same afternoon. I never even knew he wanted a chair however I didn't get cross because in the past he had accused me of spoiling surprises so I thought the surprise was maybe still to come and he was trying to throw me off the scent. We then went to a cafe with his daughter. Then she stayed in the town to shop and we drove to the hospital. At the hospital he moaned and complained about everything and even said I was no support (I had given up my birthday to do this). When we got home his chair was delivered and he played with it adjusting the positions and sitting in it. He looked like the King of the Castle in it! Anyway by 17:00 I'd had enough and asked where my present was and he just said, 'I haven't got you one, I've got a broken leg in case you haven't noticed!' 'Where have I been to get you a present'. When I got upset I felt he and his daughter (who was home by now) were laughing at me, although they didn't visably laugh. He shouted at me and said I was a child, 'only children place so much importance on getting a present''I'll get you one at the weekend'. When the weekend came still no present and the reason he stated, 'if you hadn't made a fuss you would have got one, I'm not buying a present because I feel forced to do so'. At the time I really thought I was to blame. My friend said, 'it's cruelty', now I can see she was right. What made it worse was I had been a taxi service to his daughter whilst his leg was broken and she didn't get me a card either. Does anyone out there think I'm being a child? I realise having typed this it is the multi-layered mind games that are so hard to explain. It sounds like a normal story, but all the time the tension was building and my anxiety was rising. The there is the context of previous birthdays and how I had always bought him, his daughters and his family presents.
Ellen's picture

Hi Fairy wings, NO this is not a normal story and don't ever think it is. It is DISGUSTING bad bad behaviour and he needed to be out on the street with his new chair. How DARE he treat you like that. This is one of the worst things i have read on here. I am speechless. What a raving loonybin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
time_to_move_on's picture

you aren't being a child! definitely not. If someone can't be nice to you on your birthday when can they be? You made it clear to him that at the least you expected a card (and you deserved more), and he takes you shopping for a chair for him?? He's a loser and a narc. Don't doubt yourself. Ever. He was playing his stupid mind games. [EDIT] Meant to add, I remember seeing someone years ago, it was my 30th. He said he may not be able to stay out late with me. I said "no problem" as I knew he'd had a trip to the hospital the day before, thought it was nice of him to come. Turned out though he had been to hospital, he'd then gone out with a friend until 4am so was actually hungover/tired. I was a bit annoyed, and he really patronised me, saying he'd come out if I "stopped acting like that". Urgh. People denying your feelings isn't on.