Just figuring this out

I married my N 4 years ago. He actually planned the entire thing, beautiful tropical wedding, everything. IT was still in the throws of the recession and he told me he wanted to take care of me and my 14 year old son. How wonderful right? HA no.
I found an amazing job where I do very well and he cant stand it. He told my sister that Im selfish for working on the weekends (I did the same work when he met me)
Well the weekend home from the honeymoon everything changed. My son did sneak out but that is NOT the end of the world. He pushed me away from that second on. He called me needy, told me to go get help. He didn't want to have sex. he has major intimacy issues. I would tell him I needed more time and it was like worldwar 3. He got so angry, I didn't understand and my saying was the punishment doesn't match the crime.
He turned out to be terrible with my son. Awful. He did try but when my son didn't respond the way he wanted him to, he got so nasty. He then told me Im so ungrateful, I never say thank you for all that he does for me. He told me I don't affirm him enough, so I had to put a reminder on my phone every Wednesday at noon to say something affirming to him so he wouldn't blow up. He charges at me, punches the headboard of the bed, punches the shower wall, goes nuts yells and screams. I am a shell of the person I once was.

he was and still is so focused on facebook and now periscope. He gets all of his NS from those areas, women tell him constantly how amazing he is and he does the post with his daughter and because he posts a pic everyone tells him he is such a great dad (they don't know that his 12 year old daughter is so shut down with him, she has no opinion or anything, she is blank)
We recently went on vacation and he was so angry I didn't validate him like all of the strangers he met at the resort. He yelled got so mad. He didn't talk to me for the 12 hour flight back and for days after. The silent treatment is crazy. He posted a pic with a woman that said the its about to get good. He says its for his business. Hugging her arm wrapped around her and tits all on him, then another one with another lady a week later, no comment just for his business he said.
I was questioning whether or not if he is a certified N, but after reading this back to myself, there is no question.
There are million other stories of tears. He ruined my older sons wedding and Christmas, he ruined my younger sons graduation. He made faces and horrible noises of disgust the entire time. Like I said I can go on and on.
any info or advice would be appreciated.
Thanks.

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